Temple Of Saints


On this page you can check the latest reporting errors made in your favourite paper / radio / TV program about the glorious Boys in Blue. Check the Sub-totals below for the example of the least "professional" reporters in Scotland.

New Falsehoods and lies can be submitted here or by e-mail to webmaster@grange.demon.co.uk
Previous Awards are available for 1997-98, 1996-97, 1998-99, 1999-2000 and 2000-01

Current League Standings.

Sun 13
BBC Scotland + TeletextTelevision 12
The Scotsman/ Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News 10
Daily Record 9
STV  + Teletext 8
Teamtalk / Yahoo 6
News of the World 4
Sky + Skytext 3
Other 3
Scotland On-Line 3
Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Sunday Herald 2
Sunday Mail 2
Dundee Courier/ Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph 2
BBC Radio Scotland Radio 2
Official SPL Site 1
The Times / Sunday Times 1
Daily And Sunday Express 1
Perthshire Advertiser 1
Daily / Electronic Telegraph No Score Yet
Daily Mail / Soccernet No Score Yet
METRO No Score Yet
Sporting Life No Score Yet
Press Association No Score Yet
Chic the Prick No Score Yet
Hugh Keevins No Score Yet
Radio Tay No Score Yet
Press & Journal No Score Yet
Scot FM No Score Yet
Daily Mirror No Score Yet
Daily Star No Score Yet
Football Unlimited No Score Yet
Match Magazine No Score Yet
Sunday Post No Score Yet
Gerry "OF Moaner" McNee No Score Yet
Barbour Bill Leckie No Score Yet

Daily Record (or Waily Retard as we know it)

A bastion of professional journalism as shown below. Managed 2nd place in 1996-97 but walked away with the title in 1997-98 before reverting to 2nd in 1998-99 and winning it again in 1999-2000 and 2000-01. Their WWW site is here.

April 22nd - Killie Report says Johnson outleapt Murray for the 2nd - wrong it was McClune.
February 16th- Preview of the Livvy game says that it's Cuthberts first start since October - wrong he played at the Death Star in December.
January 3rd- Report on the Hearts game has JR trying for a consolation at the end - it was Paddy.
December 27th - Photo from the Fir Park game is captioned "Goalscorer Peter MacDonald is mobbed by teammates" and either shows Peaso mobbing himself or else it might just be that the photo was taken after the first goal and shows Grant Murray being mobbed?
October 6th - Coverage of the new manager says that "a club who last week announced a loss of pounds 1.5million" - try 300 grand and a month.
September 25th- Token wee bit about Saints mentions "tonights" CIS Cup tie - wrong it's tomorrow.
September 24th- Hibs game lists Main as a sub - it was Bobby Geddes. Thanks to croebuck9@hotmail.com
August 29th- Report about Clark, who weighed-up a French trialist in a 3-0 Under-21 defeat against Dunfermline - nope we won 3-0. Idiots.
August 8th- Report on the Jeanfield game says Jones played - nope he didn't.

Falsehood League Standings


My daily read so expect a few entries here. Especially as they tend to give some coverage to the non-OF teams. Excludes any drivel written by Bill Leckie who has his own category.

May 13th- Report from the Hibs game has Nicol as a Saints sub - it was Ferry, Nicol played for the HIVBees.
April 9thSays that the Scumdee game on Sky saying it's the first Saints appearance on live TV this season. So the TFOE opener doesn't count then?
March 23rd"Gary" Maher is playing today - who he?
January 14thReport on the Pars game mentions our striker "Paul" MacDonald.
December 27th - Fat-boy Ewan Smith said Fir Park was our 4th win of 2001 - wrong it was the 5th.
October 22nd - Three classic cases of mistaken identity in the Rangers report. We've got Falconer identified as Tommy and Paddy called Hartley and Falconer. 3 points.
October 10th - "And seven minutes into injury time Hamilton crossed for the Goal" - it was only 3. Thanks to tarvie17@hotmail.com
September 17th - Another mention for "Peter" Lovenkrands playing for Saints courtesy of Ewan "Fatboy Not-So-Slim" Smith.
August 18th- Preview of Killie game says Peter MacDonald signed for us last week - it was a fortnight ago.
August 4th- An article by Gordon Smith saying how Tommy has to prove himself ("especially with his younger brother signing for Rangers" - huh?). Pity the article is accompanied by a photo of Alan Kernaghan
June 5th An early start with Tom Hendrie picking his team of SPL out-of-contract players. Amongst them is Bollan who Hendrie remembers as "playing against Celtic at the end of last season and Agathe didn't get a sniff of the ball all night - that's how good he is." - Actually Bollan didn't get a sniff either since Ross Forsyth was playing !!!

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Bill Leckie

Sun columnist and reporter with a dodgy quiff and a wonderful fetish about Barbour jackets. Thinks of himself as the champion of the underdog but in reality is just another annoying wee shite.

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Sunday Post

Not a regular read but always good for some errors.

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News Of The World

Another honest and fair paper. Excludes the page of McNee rants - he has his own section (see here).

December 2nd- Report from Pittodrie had Tommy as the only booking - it was Darren Mackie for a cruel assault on the Great Dane.
August 26th- Report on the Aberdeen game says it was our first goal of the season - it was the 2nd. Also the team of the day contains Weir and Kemble - with Killie strips? 2 points.
July 22nd- List of departures for the season in their pre-season handout omitted Stephen Roberston and Alan Kernaghan

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Scumdee Courier / Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph

Reasonable good coverage given that its a Scumdee Daily. Their WWW site is here with the Tele at www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk

November 19th- Tannadice report says Somers is a newcomer to the SPL - must have been his clone refereeing one of our games last season then.
August 22nd- Injury list talks about "Craig" Murray.

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Sunday Mail

Old Firm are Scottish Football so the rest don't matter - as you might guess. Columnist Hugh Keevins has his own section here. Their WWW site is here

September 30th-Two mentions of our reserve keeper Keith Cuthbert. 2 points.

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Radio Tay

The Dundee radio station, famed for Dick Donnelly and George Duffus - don't take it seriously

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The P.A..

Again, don't expect too much here - Gordon Bannerman and Danny Chalmers usually know what they're talking about. Their WWW site is here

March 26th"Gary" Maher is mentioned as playing at Tynecastle. Shocking stuff.

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Official SPL Site.

Frightening how little they know outside the OF Their WWW site is www.scotprem.com

July 27th- Pre-match rubbish for the Celtic game says we've only signed one player over the summer. Actually it's 4 now.

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Daily / Sunday Express

Don't expect too much coverage unless we're playing the Old Firm. Includes the on-line version.

January 18th- Crap article on the SPL TV channel talks about the poor viewing figures for a Dundee v Saints match last season - it was actually 1998. Bang up-to-date as usual.

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Press & Journal

Aberdeen-based daily with some good coverage of the East Coast teams.

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Daily Mail / Soccernet

With Saints in the Premier some coverage is guaranteed to be minimal as last season - see here for details.

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BBC Radio Scotland

Mainly Radio Scotland. Excluding Chic the Pric (see here) but including On/Off The Ball and the related websites.
.March 23rd- Report on the Hearts win credited "Peter" Lovenkrands with 2 goals. Strange that eh?
.February 16th- Report on the Livvy win said it was our first home SPL win of the season - it was the 2nd.

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Scotland On-Line

"Official" WWW site of the Scottish Footbal League. Good for commentaries but some interesting things to say about Saints. Located here.
October 25th - Match preview of the Pars game mentions our new left-back "Peter Lovenkrands".
August 18th- Killie preview talks about the 2-1 win last year (it was 2-0) and mentions Peter Lovenkrands might be playing (it's Tommy)

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Scot FM

This could be a difficult one - do they actually have any listeners ?

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Onl-line site for the Sun and News of the World. Find them at http://www.supergoals.com

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Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Sunday Herald

Wegie-centric so dont expect too much. Find them at http://www.herald.co.uk

September 9th-Report on the Dundee game centred on 'Paul' MacDonalds penalty claim, and the team list quoted an unusual substitution with Cuthbert apparently coming on for Kemble. Two points.

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Scotsport + Teletext

Including Extra Whine - again unlikely to feature much as Perth isn't in Glasgow and they're too stingy to pay Sky for the rights to show the matches. After missing out on the start of the season the STV show is back with Jim "hes a right" Delahunt and Alan "Bankrupt" McInally 1998-99 champions. This also includes the digital S2 channel and C4.

January 19th- C4 Sports said the scorer at Parkhead was Billy Dodds (it was Darren).
December 30th- Couple of classics in the Rangers coverage - let's hear it for Erchie McPherson and "Rachel Djebooli" then Andy Walker post-match talking about our next game against "Hibs" - it's Hearts.
November 24th - Teletext reports that McLarens shot hit the bar in the Killie game - nope it was over.
November 4th - Apparently Peter Lovenkrands was playing for us yesterday.
September 29th - More keeper howlers with "visiting keeper Alan Main" apparently stretchered off at McD during the Well game.
September 18th - Who on earth is Kevin Cuthbertson?
September 16th - SPL Table shows Well still in 11th despite the inferior goal difference

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Sportscene + Ceefax + BBC Online

Including the Friday Old Firm preview. With rights to the goals from the SPL this season expect more mistakes than before. Also includes the BBC On-line service at news.bbc.co.uk

March 23rd- Ceefax report on the Hearts game had Jones score the penalty for our 3rd - it was McBride.
January 19th- Rob "Arent the OF Wonderful" McLean mistook Grant Murray for Troy McClune
December 15th- "Paul" Lynch? Who he?
November 10th-Ceefax said Falconers headed goal at Killie came from a Hartley "header" - funny type of corner that.
November 3rd- From the Sellik game, Gordon Smith called JR Connolly and the commentator got the score of the last meeting wrong.
September 16th - SPL Table shows Well still in 11th despite the inferior goal difference
September 15th-Ceefax headlines after Livvy game said "Livingston win". As if.....
September 8th-Report on the Dundee game said Peter MacDonald fouled Barry Smith for the penalty - wrong it was the other way.
August 21st-Report on ex-Saints keeper Allan Ferguson signing for Airdrie said he was the no1 during his spell at McD - aye for all of 40 minutes.
August 1st-Report on Momo leaving describes him as an Ivory Coast international. Wrong.
July 27th- Pre-match rundown of the SPL says we signed someone called Maxwell from Liverpool in the summer. Out-of-date or what?

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Football Unlimited

The Guardian version of Soccernet as found at http://www.footballunlimited.co.uk

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Gerry McNee

STV Sports Editor, ex-Sunday Mail Columnist and the nearest we've got to a Scottish Jimmy Hill. Now writing for the News Of The World although with his obsession with Man Utd there is little Scottish content any more!!!!

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Sky TV + SkyText

Satellite TV and Teletext for the masses - known to come to McDiarmid when a defeat is in the air. With the new Scottish Premiership on display and ex-Scotsport presenter Jim "the Hun" White at the helm expect a better showing from this mob this season. Also includes On Digital

September 8th - On super scoreboard program, when we scored the presenter said we were playing at Tannadice when it was at Dens park
August 22nd- WAP article on Russell's injury says he's been out since last November - wrong.
July 28th- Celtic commentary has Momo down as an Ivory Coast international.

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Chic Young

Ibrox's most famous St. Mirren fan and living proof that you need fuck-all knowledge to be a journo.

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Scotsman / Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News

Edinburgh daily that will be lucky to mention Saints outside of the Old Firm meetings this season. The Pink is the Embra equivalent of the Sporting Post except it licks the bottoms of the Hibs and Hearts and includes a lot more Rugger Bugger stories. Their WWW site is here

April 21st- Report on the Killie defeat mentions "Kenny Cuthbert"?
April 7th- Report on the Well game has Murray setting up Saints goal - it was Tommy.
February 12th- Evening News report from the Hibs U-21 game has a photo of Fotheringham captioned "McBride".
December 27th- Report on the Well game confuses Paddy and Hartley.
November 24th - Killie report says Russell once signed for Man Utd for £1m - nope it was City.
November 4th - Apparently Peter Lovenkrands was playing for us yesterday - Two mentions, two points.
July 28th- List of arrivals mentions Layton Maxwell from Liverpool. Pity he'd picked Cardiff a month ago !! Thanks to gpferguson@zoom.co.uk for that.
July 22nd- List of departures for the season in their pre-season handout omitted Nathan Lowndes and Alan Kernaghan and doesn't mention the signings of Rachid or Murray. 2 points.

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Hugh Keevins

Saintees everywhere's favourite ex-Scotsman journalist. Amazing tunnel vision since based in Embra he seems incapable of dealing with anything other than the Wegie Unwashed. New for this year since hes bound to cover some Saints games. Now writing for the Sunday Mason as the replacement for McNee (some honour eh). This man is the MOST LOATHED journalist amongst Saints fans.

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Daily Telegraph - Electronic or otherwise

October 23rd-.A one pararagraph report on the Saints win over TFOD has 3 errors stating that Rangers scored a penalty (Keegan Park) and that Saints scored 2 (Charlie Miller and Momo Siller). Classic. Thanks to mailto:neil@intra-europa.com

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Times / Sunday Times

Find them at http://www.thetimes.co.uk. Sunday Times coverage is probably best for falsehoods.

November 4th- Picture captioned Kemble and Dods is actually Kemble and Tommy.

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Match magazine

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Daily Star

Not a regular read and probably qualifies for a discount given that its Manchester based but what the hell. Their WWW site is here

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Sporting Life

As found at http://www.sporting-life.com/soccer/scotspremteams/stjohnstone.html - normally a fairly accurate site.

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Free paper distributed in Edinburgh and Glasgow. First year under it's own heading but given it's tendency to rehash Press Association stories, expect a few scores.

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Daily Mirror

Not a regular read. Don't expect too much coverage of Saints either.

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Teamtalk / Yahoo

Alleged up-to-date phone service for Saints fans. It isn't - Also available at http://uk.sports.yahoo.com/foot/engl/t/stjo/index.html.

October 19th- Apparently "Paul Green" is injured so can't play for us this weekend.
October 5th- Asst manager talks about next weeks game with Hibs - it's Hearts.
August 23rd- "Brown Salutes New Chairman" says the headline - wrong Ian Dewar is just a director.
July 16th- Apparently we're managed by someone called "Clarke"?
June 30th- The loss of Maxwell to Cardiff will be a blow to Sandy Clark who has not signed any players this close-season. - So what is Grant Murray then?
June 29th - Roy Baines, who has had a spell with Celtic amongst others, has moved to a full-time post with Livingston and will be unable to work with Alan Main and Stephen Robertson this coming season. - that would have been difficult anyway since Robbo left in the summer.

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Press Association

Feeds most of the newspapers their falsehoods so a good chance of a decent total.

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Other Media Stuff

September 30th - Spotted on stjohnstone.net -Latest headlines Saints2 - Clyde2 . Thanks to tarvie17@hotmail.com
September 6th - PlanetFootball.com reports that Grant Murray left us on 15/08/01 under freedom of contract. The word bollocks springs to mind.
July 16th- C5 - in their coverage of the Canada v Brazil confed cup game, Ray Houghton proclaims 'Canada have 7 british based players - but only one of them plays in the top flight - and that's the keeper Forrest as a reserve for Ipswich.' - he's obviously missed the fact that Xausa, Dassa and De Vos were all playing.....

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