Temple Of Saints


On this page you can check the latest reporting errors made in your favourite paper / radio / TV program about the glorious Boys in Blue. Check the Sub-totals below for the example of the least "professional" reporters in Scotland.

Latest media falsehoods can be found here.

Final League Standings

Scotsport + Teletext 8

Daily Record 7

Sunday Mail6

Sportscene + Ceefax 4

Sun & News Of The World 3
Dundee Courier / Sporting Post 3
Glasgow Herald / Evening Times 3

Gerry The Face Of A Football 2
Chic the Prick2
Daily Telegraph + Electronic Version 2
Sky TV / SkyText 2

Radio Scotland 1
Scot FM 1
Scotsman / Scotland On Sunday 1
Perthshire Advertiser 1
Other 1

Daily Record (or Waily Retard as we know it)

A bastion of professional journalism as shown below.
26/05/97 - With the season over you thought they'd be able to avoid any more blunders but in their Top Scorers page in the sports supplement today, they've managed to place Georgio on both the 15 and 16 goal mark for the season.
12/05/97 - Another classic piece of match reporting. Apparently at the Airdrie game, Saints John Colquhoun was booked for elbowing John McQuillan. Strange I was sure it was an Airdrie git he got.
07/04/97 - I wasnt going to mention this one but the Retard decided to totally miss out the report on the Morton v Saints match on Saturday. An apology was printed on the Tuesday saying it was due to technical reasons - ie "we're biased bastards whod rather show a massive picture of John Davies than report on the first division leaders".
14/12/96 - "Airdries game today is cancelled due to a World Cup match Canada is playing in El Salvador - in where?" - Alex Cameron shows how much he needs a geography lesson.
12/12/96 - A match report from the previous night's Airdrie - Clydebank game joyfully predicted that the result made Airdries game against St Johnstone on saturday even more significant - pity the games next Wed. Thanks to A HREF="mailto:scottt@dai.ed.ac.uk">Scott Thomson for that one. 30/11/96 - "If St. Johnstone win today they can go clear at the top" - Given that we were 6 points clear at the start of the day, even if we're beaten I reckon we can still be clear at the top.
04/11/96- One of the more traditional mistakes at Paul Tosh is listed as playing for Saints - anyone with a vague clue as to the First Division knows its Steve Tosh that plays for us. The thicker Tosh is a Scumdee man.

Sun & News Of The World

Another honest and fair paper. My daily read so expect a lot here.
26/01/97- Rundown of the performance against Rangers praises the efforts of "Northern Ireland internationalists George O'Boyle and John O'Neil" - does this mean Danny Griffins really Scottish ??
12/01/97 - Mention in the Sky preview of the Partick game of Nick Dasovic and his band the "Virgin Hoors" - obviously the word Whores is a wee bit dodgy for a family newspaper like the News Of The World.
11/11/96 Fixture list for the week has the East Fife game down for the Tuesday instead of the Wednesday night - not bad for a paper that told us of the fixture change last week !!!!

Scumdee Courier / Sporting Post

Probably not a lot here - Saints only get a mention when playing someone from Scumdee.

21/04/97 - Also in the same report Saints are said to have lost only 8 out of 33 games. Funny I thought it was 4 - must be Dundee maths again !!!
21/04/97 - Ignoring the total envy the report was written in the Courier had a picture of Roddy and Davison celebrating v E Fife - pity the picture was of Keith O'Halloran though.
08/02/97Yould have thought the media would have learnt how to spell McDiarmid by now but oh no. Step up The Sporting Post with 'McDermott'. Thanks to Stephen Harker

Sunday Mail (see Waily Retard)

This does exclude the page of McNee rants - he has his own section (see here).
11/05/97 - According to todays paper, John Colquhouns goal v Airdrie consigned them to the play-off spot. Given that we were 17 points ahead prior to the match I doubt they could have overtaken us anyway. Another one for the Wegie maths teaching.
20/04/97 - Coverage of the championship winning match informed the reading masses that the crowd of 6451 was Saints biggest of the season. Obviously the 7000+ crowds at Boxing Day and New Year dont count.
23/03/97 - Apparently Paul Deas goal for Stirling yesterday against Saints was his first competitive goal - just as we expected they dont count saints goals any more - I remember him scoring in the Premier for Saints.
24/11/96 - Listed Charlie King as 16 - he turned 17 last weekend. Up-to-date as usual.
24/11/96 - Stranraer apparently beat Morton last month in the Challenge Cup Final.
17/11/96 Somehow convinced that Danny Griffin got booked at Dens - well he bears no real resemblance to Attila.

The P.A..

Again, don't expect too much here - Gordon Bannerman usually knows what he's talking about.
25/04/97 - Picture caption mix-up on the back page which implied that McQuillan signed a new 3-year contract which made his hair go as white as Blackleys !!!!

Radio Scotland

Excluding Chic the Pric (see here) but including On/Off The Ball.
21/11/96 - From a.woodburn@ukonline.co.uk :- "When Northern Ireland were playing against Armenia Stuart Cosgrove said on Off The Ball that Georgio was playing for them and that Danny Griffin had been left out of the squad!"

Scot FM

This could be a difficult one - do they actually have any listeners ?
24/11/96 - For the benefit of the mathematicians doing the 6.30 sports round-up Saints did not extend their lead to 6 points today - it was that already !!!!

Glasgow Herald / Evening Times

10/02/97From the Electronic version - "In the first division St Johnstone were fortunate to keep their 16-match unbeaten record when they scrambled a draw at McDiarmid Park against Airdrie. It took an error from Diamonds' goalie John Martin, who was unable to keep hold of a simple shot from Sekerloiglu four minutes from time, to let the Saints in for a point." Allan Preston scored the goal and Attila Sekerlioglou (note the spelling) wasn't even on the pitch. Thanks to Mark Lennon
28/01/97"In my bid to find some positive press for Saints I finally found something at Evening Times. A shame then that Alan Preston has metamorphosed into Jim Weir in the picture... Thanks to Stephen Harkerfor that.
25/11/96 - Apparently Saints are 7 points clear not 6 like the rest of the world thinks - always said they couldnt count in Wegieland.

Scotsport + Teletext

Including Extra Whine - again unlikely to feature much as Perth isn't in Glasgow.
26/04/97 - Lets hear it for the accurate Falkirk report. Tosh and Preston were both credited with Phizzys goals and the Legend was renamed as Rodney Grant !!!!!
18/04/97 - As part of the roundup of the First Division Jim White told us that Saints only needed 1 point for the championship - better hope Airdrie dont win all their remaining games then.
13/04/97- According to the commentator on the highlights Saints scored their first after 34 mins and the second 10 mins later on the 34 minute mark (?). Thats Cowcaddens Primary School Maths for you !!
12/04/97 - Saturday, 12/04/97, after 30 minutes Sainties 2 up, thanks to Scott. By half time its Partick 2-1 ahead, Partick scorer is '?', Saints Scott*2. Thankfully the BEEB got ir right! - Thanks to Douglas Martin.
02/02/97- As part of the whole 60 secs of highlights of the Morton game David Tanner informed us that Saints were hoping for better after 2 draws and a defeat at Ibrox. Funny that - I thought a 4-1 result over Stirling was classed as a win these days !!
02/02/97- Jim "Expert" White ran down the Premier highlights informing us of Jim Duffys first win in charge of Hibs last Monday. For his information the Hibs v Dons game was actually played Tuesday. Still theres probably a time difference between Aberdeen and Wegieland.
12/01/97 - Another classic graphics cock-up - somehow Morton on 27 points were above Falkirk on 30 points in todays depiction of the Div One Table - who says the media guys dont know the rules ??
03/01/97 - Div One League Table showed Saints on 47 points with 15 wins, 2 draws and 3 defeats - not bad since they only reckoned we'd played 19 games. Maybe that was the excuse for not showing the 7-2 gubbing of Scumdee.

Sportscene + Ceefax

Including the Friday Old Firm preview. See Scotsport for likely coverage.
18/04/97 - Friday Sportscenes feature about Saints title run-in had Hazel Irvine (along with the usual mention of the sacking of Totten), talk about Saints 3 seasons in the top-flight. She must have spent the other season in Allys car.
17/12/96- Ceefax continue to show their accuracy by mentioning that Airdrie play Stirling on 18th.
14/12/96- According to Ceefax the Airdrie game is on Monday Dec 16th. Should be a quiet match.
09/12/96 - Apparently the Airdrie games being rescheduled cos Saints player "Nis Dasovic" has been called up by Canada - must be Nicks twin brother.

Gerry McNee

STV Sports Editor, Sunday Mail Columnist and the nearest we've got to a Scottish Jimmy Hill.
12/01/97 - Broke his duck with the classic "Scotlands Top Scorer" goof when referring to Aberdeens Billy Dodds - who unfortunately is still behind the Rod in the goal stakes.
12/01/97 - Then followed it up in the "Forum" with the story that Aberdeen just dont have good enough players ie Billy Dodds who they signed from a relegated side (ie Saints). Excuse me but isnt he their top scorer and wasnt he signed 3 seasons ago anyway?

Sky TV + SkyText

Satellite TV and Teletext for the masses - known to come to McDiarmid when a defeat is in the air.
13/01/97- Build up to the live clash with Partick Thistle showed a League Table with Saints having played 20 with 7 points. Thanks to Phil Cowie for that one.
13/01/97-Same game 83 mins into the commentary we get the following gem :: ""... by a Partick Thistle side who've shown a lot of spirit and a lot of resiliance and are doing the rest of the First Division a massive favour in holding back St. Johnstone from opening up a gap on the rest of the pack." as if 11 points isn't enough. Thanks again to Phil Cowie

Chic Young

Ibrox's most famous St. Mirren fan andliving proof that you need fuck-all knowledge to be a journo.
25/01/97- Providing "expert" opinion after the highlights of the Rangers defeat the Bald One proclaimed "St Johnstones real weakness is that they leak goals". For Mr. Youngs benefit, at the time Saints have the best defensive record in Britain.
06/12/96 - Had to include this shining example from the ginger-topped one. Interviewing Celtic asst boss on Friday Sportscene the following gem is uttered "Billy, we all know that for people outside the game, the pressures of managing a club such as Rangers or Celtic can't be imagined - so is it as bad as we imagine it?". Sheer Poetry.

Scotsman / Scotland On Sunday

They employ Hugh Keevins and Graeme Spiers - 'Nuff said?
23/03/97 -"Headline - "Saints stutter but remain on top" (How they could lose a 10 point lead in one game is beyond me"". Thanks to some anonymous person (I think at Virgin.net) who send the form in but forgot to fill in the address - if you read this and want a credit please e-mail me. Thanks.

Daily Telegraph - Electronic or otherwise

13/05/97 - Listed Scott as a sub (not used) in their report of the Airdrie match. Dontcha just love accuracy?
13/12/96 - "Hamilton is unlikely to name a replacement for O'Boyle, his club's leading scorer " have some people never heard of Roddy Grant ?? Thanks to Murray Crease for that one.

Other Media Stuff

31/05/97Match magazine states that "Saints won the title after a 4-1 victory against Partick, and on the last day of the season, after beating Airdrie 1-0, Match said that we'd won the division by 10 points!".

Saints Index Grange Index

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