Temple Of Saints

MEDIA FALSEHOODS FOR SEASON 1998 - 1999

On this page you can check the latest reporting errors made in your favourite paper / radio / TV program about the glorious Boys in Blue. Check the Sub-totals below for the example of the least "professional" reporters in Scotland.

New Falsehoods and lies can be submitted here or by e-mail to webmaster@grange.demon.co.uk
Previous Awards are available for 1997-98 and 1996-97.


Current League Standings.

PUBLISHER FALSEHOODS SO FAR
STV  + Teletext 21
Daily Record 17
Sun 13
BBC Scotland + Teletext 12
News of the World 11
The Scotsman/ Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News 11
Dundee Courier/ Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph 9
Sporting Life 7
Daily Mail / Soccernet 6
Sky + Skytext 6
Sunday Mail 5
Daily / Electronic Telegraph 5
Football Unlimited 4
BBC Radio Scotland Radio 4
Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Herald on Sunday 4
Perthshire Advertiser 3
Hugh Keevins 3
The Times / Sunday Times 3
Other 3
Match Magazine 2
Sunday Post 2
Daily And Sunday Express 1
Scotland On-Line 1
Daily Star No Score Yet
Gerry "OF Moaner" McNee No Score Yet
Daily Mirror No Score Yet
Chic the Prick No Score Yet
Scot FM No Score Yet



Daily Record (or Waily Retard as we know it)

A bastion of professional journalism as shown below. Managed 2nd place in 1996-97 but walked away with the title last year. Their WWW site is here

May 24th- Charlie Nicholas on about how Geoff enjoyed the Dundee game from his seat at McD - pity he was in Florida at the time.
May 17th- 2 good ones today - Motherwell are referred to as playing us next week and Del and Chief are mixed up in the photos of the Killie match
April 8th- Cup semi-final build-up has Kernaghan referred to as Saints skipper !!!
April 5th- Jim Weir returning from a serious knee injury - someone better tell him they've moved his Achilles then
March 15th- Bollan linked with the incident leading to the Killie goal - it was Dods.
February 1st - Reports Del as being booked at Parkhead when it was actually Phizzy.
January 21st - "Frozen out hitman" Roddy Grant - this'll be the same player that has played in most of the games this season then?
December 21st- Alex Camerons in-depth report on the Motherwell match (ie Owen Coyle rabbiting on about missing a penalty) was accompanied by a picture of Roddy Grant heading home the winner. Pity anyone who was at the game saw him kick the ball into the net - nowt like accurate reporting from OAP Alex.
November 2nd- "Jamie" McQuillan scored the goal against the Pars apparently. They dont like him do they?
September 24th- Report on the Celtic game has Georigo taking the free kick leading to Saints winner - nope it was Kane but they're only different colours and hairstyles.
September 19th- John "McQuilter". Nope its McQuillan. Not like they'd ever misspell a Negri or Larsson.
September 12th- Miguel "Sumau" ? Nope its Simao. Not like they'd ever misspell a Negri or Larsson.
August 24th- "Winner" league table has Saints having Played 2, Won 1, Drawn 1 and Lost 1? Wegie Maths.
August 17th- "Paddy Connolly has yet to score for Saints" - So who got the second last week then?
August 6th- Report on the Livingstone deal has him signing as cover for "crocked" striker Roddy Grant. That'll be crocked as in suspended will it?
July 21st- Wegie education at its finest as the Retard says that if we sign Nash it'll double our Canadian presence. So Dasovic + Xausa + Nash = 2 does it?
July 18th- Listings for their Fantasy Premier League Competition has Jenko still down as a Saints player.
Falsehood League Standings


Sun

My daily read so expect a few entries here. Especially as they tend to give some coverage to the non-OF teams.

May 24th- Report on the Dundee game had the score as 2-1 instead of 1-0
May 1st- Preview of the Aberdeen game talks about "next weeks match against Killie" - nope its a fortnight away.
April 12th- Rodger Baillies piece of crap reporting says that the Saints fans were silent after cheering the 5 Nations win at the semi. Well I could hear them singing all through the highlights.
April 5th- Jim Weir suffered from a cruciate injury - nope it was his Achilles.
February 27th- Philip Scott was added to the squad for Dens despite being in the squad for the last few weeks.
January 20th - "Frozen out hitman" Roddy Grant - this'll be the same player that has played in most of the games this season then?
November 16th- Keith O'Halleron was stretchered off at the weekend - phew lucky O'Halloran must be OK then.
October 27th- TV Guide has Saints semi-final tie against the Jambos at McDiarmid - nope its Easter Road. - you'd think they'd know better by now.
October 24th- TV Guide has Saints semi-final tie against the Jambos at McDiarmid - nope its Easter Road.
August 20th- "McAnespie is yet to feature in Saints first team" - so who started against Motherwell and came off the bench against Killie then?
August 17th- "Kilmarnock dominated the game" - so why was their keeper Man of the Match?
August 10th- Report on the Stranraer match has Saints fans being pilloried for slagging off Georgio O'Boyle then the reporter proceed to put him in the Nightmare Team of the Day!!!! Thats Wegie Consistency for you.
August 6th- Report on the Livingstone deal has him signing as cover for "crocked" striker Roddy Grant. That'll be crocked as in suspended will it?
Falsehood League Standings


Sunday Post

Not a regular read but always good for some errors.


October 18th- "Migel" Simao and a difference in the Motherwell bookings tally (3 in the report but only 2 in the Crim Count). Excellent stuff.

Falsehood League Standings


News Of The World

Another honest and fair paper. Excludes the page of McNee rants - he has his own section (see here).

April 25th- Referee report of the Celtic match makes mention of the Shot of the match from Dens !!?!?!
April 4th- "Frozen-out skipper Jim Weir"? Try injured for the last year.
March 14th- Killie report said that Durrant was the only player to have taken any long-range shots. I suppose Blasters first half effort was all in the mind then?
January 3rd- Congratulations to Phizzy for making Team of the Day - commiserations for now looking like Jenko according to the photo!!!
October 18th- Goal of the match against Motherwell refers to Georgios 40 yarder as being Saints 3rd in the 39th minute. Nope it was their 4th in the 85th minute.
August 16th- Who is "Nick Dazovic" and does he play for Zaintz ?? Also if "Danny Griffin" was being moved to the centre of defence where the hell has he been playing the last 2 games?
August 9th- Three errors in the footie supplement today. For the record, the Saints telephone number is not 626961, the home strip has no white pinstripe and there is only one Perth Railway Station (for some reason BR Leonard St. is near the ground).
Falsehood League Standings


Scumdee Courier / Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph

Reasonable good coverage given that its a Scumdee Daily. Their WWW site is here with the Tele at www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk

March 3rd- Courier report on Dels injury was accompanied by a picture of Nick Dasovic.
November 10th- Online version of the "Tele" wittered on about Sturrock under a picture of St. Sandy - blasphemy.
October 17th- Saints scorer Simeo ? Nope its Simao - welcome to a Scumdee education.
August 24th- Saints "skipper O'Boyle"? Nope it was Alan Main.
August 17th- Saints face Falkirk in the League tomorrow night - nope wrong competition and divisions !!!!
July 21st- Errors galore in the Elgin City report. The Elgin goal came from a Ferguson drop, McCluskey got the 6th and ONeil the 7th (not the other way round) and it was Bollan not Preston who set up the 6th
July 20th- Saints trialist at Rothes credited as "Mark" Nash - nope its Martin.
Falsehood League Standings


Sunday Mail

Old Firm are Scottish Football so the rest don't matter - as you might guess. Columnist Hugh Keevins has his own section here. Their WWW site is here

November 29th- Apparently Saints went full-time at McD in 1989 and didn't go full-time till they were promoted 4 years later - Strange I thought we went up only one year later?
November 1st- Miguel "Simo"???
September 13th- Report on the Pars match says how Georgio had a great chance to level after 51 minutes. With the score already 1-1 I can't see how he could level it? Still thats Wegie maths.
August 16th- What does this paper have against Del? Apparently Baker was booked in yesterdays game for a foul on McQuillan not Del?
July 19th- Return to form as the credit for the 4th goal in the Rothes friendly is given to Georgio instead of John O'Neil.
Falsehood League Standings


The P.A..

Again, don't expect too much here - Gordon Bannerman and Danny Chalmers usually know what they're talking about. Their WWW site is here

March 26th- Listed Phizzys first match as against Hibs - nope it was against the Jambos.
August 18th- Saints play "Kalkirk" tonight - thanks to vhammer@hamwylie.demon.co.uk
July 17th- Early mistake for Danny Chalmers as he lists Andy Whitefords debut as the Celtic game last season - nope it was against the Pars 2 years ago.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily / Sunday Express

Don't expect too much coverage unless we're playing the Old Firm.

July 31st- "Alan Main, Alan Kernaghan and Mickey Weir are among the walking wounded." Thanks to Steven Harker for the falsehood.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Mail / Soccernet.

With Saints in the Premier some coverage is guaranteed to be minimal as last season - see here for details.

September 3rd- I hadnt checked it this season but apparently "An astonishing amount of errors from Soccernet. According to them we have players such as Callum Davidson, "Leight Jenkinson, Ian Ferguson and Steven Tosh. We also have Charlie Kind and Robbie Grant" - I make that 6.

Falsehood League Standings


BBC Radio

Mainly Radio Scotland. Excluding Chic the Pric (see here) but including On/Off The Ball.

April 20th- Preview of the United match said that we'd lost 3 of our last 4 matches - so beating TFOD doesn't count any more?
April 17th- Radio 5 described Phizzy as having been signed from the Pars. As if.
March 6th- Radio Scotland mentioned "Saints manager Paul Sturrock" ....as if we'd have him back.
September 26th- Radio 5 said Rangers beat us 1-0. Nope they beat the Pars 2-0. Thanks to Phile Cowie

Falsehood League Standings


Scotland On-Line

"Official" WWW site of the Scottish Footbal League. Good for commentaries but some interesting things to say about Saints. Located here.

August 18th- From the Falkirk v Saints report :: "John McCullan blasted a shot from the edge of the Falkirk box that Bairns keeper Nathers could only parry"
Falsehood League Standings



Scot FM

This could be a difficult one - do they actually have any listeners ?

Falsehood League Standings


Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Sunday Herald

Wegie-centric so dont expect too much.

April 25th- 2 from the Celtic report - their fans did not fill 3 out of the 4 stands and Saints goal wasn't their first shot of the game.
February 6th- Today's Herald (Saturday): "Paul Sturrock last night secured the services of the highly rated young striker John Paul McBride". Up-to-date Wegies as ever.
July 21st- No Saints report but Elgin City 0 Motherwell 6 listed in the scores - Strange, we beat Elgin 7-1 last night. Thanks to Jim for the falsehood.
Falsehood League Standings


Scotsport + Teletext

Including Extra Whine - again unlikely to feature much as Perth isn't in Glasgow and they're too stingy to pay Sky for the rights to show the matches. After missing out on the start of the season the STV show is back with Jim "hes a right" Delahunt and Alan "Bankrupt" McInally.

May 16th-Killie match shows McCutcheon as a Saints sub instead of a Killie sub - they never even showed our subs.
May 2nd- Speaks to Billy Davies about Motherwells win over Saints yesterday - nope they beat Killie.
April 18th- Miguels header came off the bar against Hearts? Nope it was a normal shot.
February 21st- Another one for the pundits as Grahame Spiers went on about Judas' "return to Tayside" - so where exactly had he been oh pretensious one?
February 7th- Pundit and "expert" Jim Traynor wittered on about the win over the Arabs as putting us "3rd or 4th" when we'd been there for ages. What an arse.
January 29th- A couple of good ones on Extra Whine tonight - firstly for Delahunts benefit St. Sandy has not "bought wisely" given that nobody has signed for the club since he took over and for them to mention the U-21 game where "Saints beat Aberdeen with the Dons winning 3-0" was surreal to say the least.
January 1st- Preview of the Dons match has Georgio out for 2 weeks - wrong it's 2 months.
December 27th- Oor Erchie refers to Del as an Irishman during the commentary on the Ibrox match. Gary Panton
December 4th- Extra Whine League Table has Celtic P 15, W 7, D 5 , L 4 - Wegie maths at its finest.
November 29th- League Cup Final coverage has Saints possessing £50,000 ginger-haired striker according to Archie called Nick Dasovic? Also Pa Broons punditry suggested that Alan Kernaghan was Dods whilst towards the end the Ibrox-tinted specs of Oor Erchie decided that Il Biscotti was Legend - 3 points overall.
November 15th- Who is "Andy" Kernaghan? Or Daysovic ?
September 28th- Prick on Scotland Today said the score on Saturday was 3-0 not 3-1
September 20th- Nathan Lowndes referred to as Judas' last signing - so whos Miguel Simao then?
August 24th- Another 2 - Georgio is not a midfielder and wasn't skipper at Dens.
August 12th- Coverage of the Livvo transfer failure mentions that Roddy and Connolly are both hurt despite both having featured in Saints teams in the last week.
August 7th- Teletext described Stranraers Cup win over Saints last year - sorry guys it was 2 years ago.
July 31st- "Jim Weir and Alan Main are among 6 Motherwell players ruled out of tomorrows match" ...as if !!
Falsehood League Standings


Sportscene + Ceefax + BBC Online

Including the Friday Old Firm preview. With rights to the goals from the SPL this season expect more mistakes than before. Also includes the BBC On-line service at news.bbc.co.uk

May 24th - Rob McLean on Reporting Scotland mentions an upcoming report on Saints chances for the Fair Play Spot - 24 hours after we gained automatic qualification.
April 24th - Gordon Smith strikers again on Sportscene with "Miguel Simoa" - Dyslexic or what?
April 24th - Teletext mentions Saints scorer v Sellik as Keith "O'Halleron"
April 20th - Teletext speaks of Saints "French" striker Miguel Simao.
March 25th- Teletext reports Phizzy as moving from St. Mirren to Sheff. Wed. Thanks to hoggca@hotmail.com for that one.
March 6th- Teletext said we advanced to the quarter finals - nope it's the semis.
February 26th- Interview of Scumdee chief git Marr on Sportscene referred to Geoff Brown at "Muirton". Thats a Hilltoon education for ye.
January 1st- Preview of the Dons match has Georgio out for 2 weeks - wrong it's 2 months.
December 18th- Teletext preview of the Well match referred to Roddy as being out until the New Year.
December 12th- Coverage of the Dundee match has Gordon Smith going on about Saints defender "McQulken" - again !!
September 19th- Willie Miller said that Saints were down to 10 men when they scored their second. Obviously a lie but it shows how much interest he took in the game.
August 19th- Totally wrong score for the Falkirk match giving them the 1-0 win. Also called their keeper Nathers
Falsehood League Standings


Football Unlimited

The Guardian version of Soccernet as found at http://www.footballunlimited.co.uk

November 26th-Where to begin - Davide Xausa (not Xhusa) is NOT a midfielder, Keyring is NOT a defender and Nathan has scored more than 2 goals so far this season. Call it 4.
Falsehood League Standings


Gerry McNee

STV Sports Editor, ex-Sunday Mail Columnist and the nearest we've got to a Scottish Jimmy Hill. Now writing for the News Of The World !!!!

Falsehood League Standings


Sky TV + SkyText

Satellite TV and Teletext for the masses - known to come to McDiarmid when a defeat is in the air. With the new Scottish Premiership on display and ex-Scotsport presenter Jim "the Hun" White at the helm expect a better showing from this mob this season.

April 3rd- Preview of the Rangers match has an article on Georgio accompanied by an old picture of McQuillan.
August 23rd- Five crackers from the live coverage of the Scumdee win. (1) Pundit Robbo called Bollan Preston. (2) Pundit Robbo called Del Griffin, (3) Dods referred to as a £40,000 buy - nope it was £140,000, (4) Roddy returning from injury - nope suspension, (5) Danny nearly went to Derby last year - nope it was 3 years ago. Thanks to Steven Burns.
Falsehood League Standings


Chic Young

Ibrox's most famous St. Mirren fan and living proof that you need fuck-all knowledge to be a journo.

Falsehood League Standings


Scotsman / Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News

Edinburgh daily that will be lucky to mention Saints outside of the Old Firm meetings this season. The Pink is the Embra equivalent of the Sporting Post except it licks the bottoms of the Hibs and Hearts and includes a lot more Rugger Bugger stories. Their WWW site is here

May 16th- Photo of Stuart McCluskey labelled at John McQ at the Killie match
April 21st - Match report from Tannadice mentions Saints "French" striker Miguel Simao.
April 11th- Neil McLennan of the Scotsman gets it wrong in the semi-final program. Saints last Scottish Cup semi was 1992 not 1989.
March 14th- Bollan again linked with the incident leading to the Killie goal - it was Dods but given the rest of Paul Forsyth's report such crap shouldn't be surprising.
February 7th- Apparently if Bollan had got a second goal yesterday making his total 3 he would be Saints top goalscorer - so 3 is now greater than 4 is it?
November 30th- Front page : "No dancing in the streets of St. Johnstone as Rangers blah blah blah..."
October 28th- Coverage of the League Cup Semi contains the immortal "There was a robust trip by Kernaghan on Simao, and he collected a yellow card for his effort." Even Willie Young isn't that stupid.
September 9th- Scotsman report on the Hibs match has Kane impersonating Nathan Lowndes.
August 24th- More Edinburgh Maths with Dods fee listed as £75,000 in the Scotsman report of the Scumdee match.
August 17th- The Darren Dods fee is listed as being £140,000, double the original Saints offer. Which the Edinburgh-based paper had listed as a "derisory" £45,000. Thats Auld Reekie Maths for you.
July 19th- Scotland on Sunday credited the 4th goal in the Rothes friendly is given to Georgio instead of John O'Neil. Thanks to Gary Panton for the falsehood.
Falsehood League Standings


Hugh Keevins

Saintees everywhere's favourite ex-Scotsman journalist. Amazing tunnel vision since based in Embra he seems incapable of dealing with anything other than the Wegie Unwashed. New for this year since hes bound to cover some Saints games. Now writing for the Sunday Mason as the replacement for McNee (some honour eh).


April 4th- Right, now we know this idiot is getting senile but his article in todays Mail ahead of the Rangers match defies belief. "St. Johnstone have been the biggest TV turn-off since Eldorado. On four times, one goal scored, NO wins! But the money's good. They'll make £165,000 from Sky for tonight's game with Ranges and the Scottish Cup tie. Thats big box-office for flops". Keevins has had a grudge against Sandy Clark and Saints for years. Now apart from the fact that we beat Dundee (in the 3 Sky games not 4), we also won a League Cup semi and put on a damn good show in the final - both live on STV. Arse. Call it 3 points. Personally I think this is worth a letter to the editor.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Telegraph - Electronic or otherwise



April 21st- Report on the United game refers to Saints keeper "Alan Mean" ????
March 14th- Report on the Killie game has Bollan colliding with Main - nope it was Darren Dods
February 28th- Two crackers in the Scumdee report - Legend is apparently looking to move to the English Premiership and McQ cleared off the line for Scumdee from a Grant header (it was the Scumdee no 2 from a Father Dougal header). 3 points overall. Thanks to Jim Eccleston for these.
Falsehood League Standings


Times / Sunday Times



May 2nd- Preview of the OF War has Pope as a possible TFOE sub - he's only been with Saints for 2 months !!!
March 7th- Two good ones in the report on the Motherwell match. Firstly the main on-line page had the score as 0-0 instead of a 2-0 win for Saints. Then the second goal said Miguel was set up by a pass from McQ - nope it was O'Halloran.
Falsehood League Standings


Match magazine



September 27th- Report on the Arabs match had Danny conceding the penalty when it was actually McCluskey. Thanks to vhammer@hamwylie.demon.co.uk
July 30th- Season preview details Georgio as player to watch but uses a picture of John McQuillan instead. Thanks to Steven Burns for the falsehood.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Star

Not a regular read and probably qualifies for a discount given that its Manchester based but what the hell. Their WWW site is here

Falsehood League Standings


Sporting Life

As found at http://www.sporting-life.com/soccer/scotspremteams/stjohnstone.html - normally a fairly accurate site.

May 14th- Preview of the Killie game says one of the main clashes will be Veraillev Kernaghan - given he's not playing it's pretty unlikely.
April 5th- Keyring enjoyed his "first start" against Rangers last night - I don't think so.
November 27th- Picture of Kane captioned as Nathan - not that they look much different
September 17th- For some reason Arab team news is listed under Saints stuff - sorry but Judas has gone.
September 4th- In the wake of the Sturrock resignation the following errors. He took over in Nov 93 not March 94. Saints were 3 not 2 seasons in the 1st Division.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Mirror

Not a regular read. Don't expect too much coverage of Saints either.

Falsehood League Standings


Other Media Stuff



May 23rd- Channel 5 strikes with "they'll be dancing in the streets of St. Johnstone tonight"
April 21st- Press and Journal again had the headline "Griffin Off" for the Tannadice match - nope it was Nathan.
February 7th- Aberdeen Press & Journal reported that "Saints had secured a vital 3 points in their quest to remain in the Premier League" after Saints beat the Arabs to stay 4th !!!!

Falsehood League Standings


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