Temple Of Saints

MEDIA FALSEHOODS FOR SEASON 1999-2000

On this page you can check the latest reporting errors made in your favourite paper / radio / TV program about the glorious Boys in Blue. Check the Sub-totals below for the example of the least "professional" reporters in Scotland.

New Falsehoods and lies can be submitted here or by e-mail to webmaster@grange.demon.co.uk
Previous Awards are available for 1997-98, 1996-97 and 1998-99


Current League Standings.

PUBLISHER FALSEHOODS SO FAR
Daily Record 19
STV  + Teletext 15
The Scotsman/ Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News 14
BBC Scotland + Teletext 12
Radio Tay 8
Other 8
Dundee Courier/ Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph 8
News of the World 6
BBC Radio Scotland Radio 5
Sun 5
Hugh Keevins 4
Sporting Life 4
Press & Journal 3
Scotland On-Line 3
Sunday Mail 3
Daily And Sunday Express 3
Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Herald on Sunday 2
Daily Mail / Soccernet 2
Scot FM 1
Sky + Skytext 1
Perthshire Advertiser 1
Chic the Prick 1
Daily Mirror 1
Daily Star 1
Daily / Electronic Telegraph No Score Yet
Football Unlimited No Score Yet
The Times / Sunday Times No Score Yet
Match Magazine No Score Yet
Sunday Post No Score Yet
Gerry "OF Moaner" McNee No Score Yet
Barbour Bill Leckie No Score Yet



Daily Record (or Waily Retard as we know it)

A bastion of professional journalism as shown below. Managed 2nd place in 1996-97 but walked away with the title last year before reverting to 2nd in 1998-99. Their WWW site is here

May 8th- Pic of "Weir" in action at Tynecastle - pity it's of Darren Dods.
April 20th- Craig Russell reported as missing out on Sunday due to a groin strain - nope it's a hamstring pull
April 7th- Article on Biscuits retirement mentions a "3-1" win over the Jambos in League Cup last year - wrong it was 3-0 !!!
April 1st- "Marc Millar to step in again for the suspended Bollan" - Blaster only just starts his suspension today.
March 27th-Stats page says Saints unbeaten at home in the League since November. Try telling that to the folk that saw us lose to the Gorgie Gits this month.
March 6th- Photo caption from Ibrox had Robertson identified as Dolph.
February 28th- Picture of Del "celebrating" his goal against Dundee Utd - what's he doing celebrating Dannys free-kick?
January 31st-Report of the TFOD cup-tie has Saints as unchanged from the Motherwell game. So Darren Dods and Stuart McCluskey are one and the same then?
January 10th - A Charlie Prickolas classic with "St. Johnstone have been missing the influence of Andy Kernaghan"
December 28th- Picture of Del captioned as Graeme Jones. Oh dear.
December 20th- Paul Kane set up Chiefs shot at Rubgy Park - nope it was the Pope.
November 25th- Photo caption mentions Weir tackling a Hibee - photo is of Chief this time.
November 22nd- Two from the Aberdeen game. After a quiet period it's back to normal with confusion betweem Graeme Jones and Gerry in the Aberdeen report. Also the picture caption mentions Chief - pity the photo is of Danny.
August 23rd - Two crackers with Keyring scoring the o.g. past Gotgirlspantson instead of Main and Charlie Prickolas under the impression that Saints play their Vaasa tie on Wednesday.
July 29th- Saints "chairman" Stewart Duff?
July 24th-Another on from OAP Cameron - "St. Johnstone appeared in the Scottish Cup Final last season". Sad isn't it?
June 26th - Delightful crap from Senile Alex Cameron :: "St Johnstone chairman Geoff Brown, who runs a tight ship at McDiarmid Park, refuses to budge over deals for 11 of his players. As a former League treasurer, Brown has insider knowledge of the state of club finances. They're pretty lousy. " Apart from the fact that Saints are the only club in the SPL without an overdraft.
Falsehood League Standings


Sun

My daily read so expect a few entries here. Especially as they tend to give some coverage to the non-OF teams. Excludes any drivel written by Bill Leckie who has his own category.

May 15th- Report from the Sellik game mentions the lack of Sellik fans in the West stand. Yup the one that's hope support only.
February 23rd- Report from the HIVBees game said it was Dolphs first top team match since Aug 98. Nope he's had to come on as a sub since then.
January 24th- Report from the Motherwell game credited Nathan with setting up Pope for the goal - it was Kane.
August 21st - Listed Thomas as Sandys 2nd signing. So McBride + Lauchlan = 1 does it? More Wegie maths.
August 14th - Saints backroom staff contains someone called "Arthur Henderson" according to Euan Smith.
Falsehood League Standings


Bill Leckie

Sun columnist and reporter with a dodgy quiff and a wonderful fetish about Barbour jackets. Thinks of himself as the champion of the underdog but in reality is just another annoying wee shite.

Falsehood League Standings


Sunday Post

Not a regular read but always good for some errors.

Falsehood League Standings


News Of The World

Another honest and fair paper. Excludes the page of McNee rants - he has his own section (see here).

May 14th- Picture of Pope captioned O'Halloran and mentioned a sub called "Stephen Friel".
April 2nd- Picture of Del captioned Jones.
March 19th- Who's "Gary Bowen"?
November 7th- Match report of the Dundee defeat says that "if it wasn't for the form of Aberdeen Saints would be bottom" - so Killie in 9th means nothing then?
.July 11th- Match report of the St. Pat's game has Whiteford giving away the penalty when it was Dods.
Falsehood League Standings


Scumdee Courier / Sporting Post / Evening Telegraph

Reasonable good coverage given that its a Scumdee Daily. Their WWW site is here with the Tele at www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk

May 3rd-Aberdeen report refers to Darren Dods as "the big Englishman".
May 1st-Picture of the Corporal captioned "Parker". Smelly Twats.
March 22nd- Tele reports Il Biscotti undergoing knee surgery - nope it's his hip.
February 23rd- Report from the HIVBees game said it was Dolphs first top team match since Aug 98. Nope he's had to come on as a sub since then.
September 17th- Reported that only Bollan was booked for Saints in Monaco - nope so was Nathan.
July 13th - Apparently we played "Brae Wanderers" last night and a "Laughlan" played for Saints. Another 2 points.
July 12th- Reported Saints as playing Bray Athletic tonight, not Wanderers.

Falsehood League Standings


Sunday Mail

Old Firm are Scottish Football so the rest don't matter - as you might guess. Columnist Hugh Keevins has his own section here. Their WWW site is here

February 27th- Tip for the Scotland Asst job is "St. Johnstone manager Paul Sturrock" - as if !!!
November 28th- Photo from Tannadice report says it's Gerry - picture is of Danny Griffin. Wonderful Stuff.
October 24th- Exclusive on Alan Mains private life had him playing Celtic "tomorrow night" - late as usual for the Wegie Boys.


Falsehood League Standings


Radio Tay

The Dundee radio station, famed for Dick Donnelly and George Duffus - don't take it seriously

February 26th - Who is "Dick" Dasovic?
September 16th - Four classic names from the Monaco game - let's hear it for "John O'Kane, Paul O'Halloran, Alan Weir and Kieran O'Halloran"
August 13th- Saints are in Europe so they send a blind moron to Vaasa. The following courtesy of Gary Panton at Blue Heaven- Vaasa are Finns not Swedes (3 times), Nathan has played this season and being unable to tell the difference between Kane, Del and Blaster is worth a point on it's own. 3 points.
Falsehood League Standings


The P.A..

Again, don't expect too much here - Gordon Bannerman and Danny Chalmers usually know what they're talking about. Their WWW site is here

December 21st- Report from Rugby Park has the "Kilmarnock Correspondent" crediting Blaster with setting up the first goal when it was Goalden Graeme. Still we can have some comfort in the news that it wasn't a PA reporter that screwed up.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily / Sunday Express

Don't expect too much coverage unless we're playing the Old Firm. Includes the on-line version.

May 3rd- Report on the Aberdeen game said it was Kiegans second start for the club - nope it was the 3rd.
August 26th- On-line preview of the Saints Vaasa game doesn't mention us. Instead it likes Celtic and Cwmbran Town.
July 31st- Listed Miguel as our top scorer last season with 4 goals. Nope it was Legend with 6.
Falsehood League Standings


Press & Journal

Aberdeen-based daily with some good coverage of the East Coast teams.

August 21st- Reports from the Killie game had Stephen McAnespie, a 3-0 scoreline and credited someone else with Gerrys disallowed goals. Thanks to Gary Davison for these.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Mail / Soccernet

With Saints in the Premier some coverage is guaranteed to be minimal as last season - see here for details.

November 28th- "Ronnie Grant's Testimonial" - as if !!!
September 16th - Andy Goram is "St.Johnstone's gloved warhorse"
Falsehood League Standings


BBC Radio Scotland

Mainly Radio Scotland. Excluding Chic the Pric (see here) but including On/Off The Ball.

November 27th- Tannadice commentary said "And that was close! Jones puts it past the post with Main well beaten" !!
September 16th - Murdo McLeods name check at Monaco included "Derek Mcquillon, Kevin Mcanespie and John Neil"
August 7th- "FatBoy" Smith has us playing Haka this week. Wrong oh Hun-minded one.
Falsehood League Standings


Scotland On-Line

"Official" WWW site of the Scottish Footbal League. Good for commentaries but some interesting things to say about Saints. Located here.

February 28th- "Scouser" Nathan Lowndes?
October 30th- Who is "Gary Bowlam" ?
July 17th- "£100,000 Martin Lauchlan" - try halving that.

Falsehood League Standings



Scot FM

This could be a difficult one - do they actually have any listeners ?
July 17th- "Saints lost 1-0 to Wigan" - Nope it was 1-1 and we lost on penalties.
Falsehood League Standings


Glasgow Herald / Evening Times / Sunday Herald

Wegie-centric so dont expect too much. Find them at http://www.herald.co.uk

October 25th- Totally shite report on the TFOE match credits Dasovic with making the pass for the goal - nope it was Kane.
October 1st- Picture of Nathan in the Monaco report - with dark hair he looks suspiciously like Dasovic.
Falsehood League Standings


Scotsport + Teletext

Including Extra Whine - again unlikely to feature much as Perth isn't in Glasgow and they're too stingy to pay Sky for the rights to show the matches. After missing out on the start of the season the STV show is back with Jim "hes a right" Delahunt and Alan "Bankrupt" McInally 1998-99 champions. This also includes the digital S2 channel.

April 14th- HIVBees game still listed on Teletext as a 2.00 kick-off - its 3pm.
February 28th - "Garry Bollan" scored last week's penalty against HIVBees - nope it was Chief.
February 16th - Peter Martin's commentary of the TFOD match referred to Nathan as "Irish".
January 23rd- Commentary on Motherwell "highlights" has the stunning comment that Saints fans were happy to see their first home goal for two months. Given that it was our first match at home for 2 months it wasn't really surprising was it?
January 20th- Midweek fixture list mentions the TFOD game but not the Jambos - another cock-up from our teletext pals.
January 14th- "Let's hear what you think 2000 has in store for Rugby Park" - One question - why?
November 24th- Sorry but C4 Teletext has had more than enough time to suss out that we play the Arabs this weekend.
October 24th- Coverage of their lineup for Celtic had Keyring on the right and Chief on the left. Yes and I know I'm being pedantic but Delac..sorry Delahunts smirking gob pissed me off.
October 15th- Stupid bint on Scotland today has us playing Hibs tomorrow instead of Hearts.
September 30th.- Monaco coverage had Hately wittering on about Jason Lowndes. Who he?
September 26th- Token coverage of Saints against Rangers listed Parkes as a Saints sub. Who he?
September 12th- Commentary on the Motherwell game said that the Messiah scored against the Sheep last week - even he isn't that good - the goal was a fortnight ago.
August 29th - Report on the Aberdeen game says Saints weren't troubled till the 2nd half. So Mains world-class save in the first 45 was just our collective imagination was it?
August 26th - Grampian TV lunchtime news gave the score from the first leg of the Vaasa tie as 0-0 not 1-1. Thanks to mailto:i.a.c.greig@dundee.ac.uk
August 24th - Surprisingly enough the first falsehood comes courtesy of the Saints quiz on C4 Teletext (P165). Incorrectly said that the last time we played Hibs (prior to this season), the score was 1-1. Nope we shafted them 4-0. Thanks to mailto:C.A.Roebuck@ncl.ac.uk for that one.
Falsehood League Standings


Sportscene + Ceefax + BBC Online

Including the Friday Old Firm preview. With rights to the goals from the SPL this season expect more mistakes than before. Also includes the BBC On-line service at news.bbc.co.uk

May 2nd- "Carl Kane" ? Who he?
April 29th - "Welshman" Graeme Jones? Please.
March 16th - Teletext refers to "Hearts manager Sandy Clark" in a piece about Georgios injury.
March 11th - Preview of TFOE game had "Fergie" ready to return despite the world knowing he's out for 9 months.
February 26th - Report on the Arabs game has us take the lead in the 31st not 51st minute and the ref was "Kim" McCluskey.
February 16th - Report on the TFOD match sez they took the lead in the first half.
February 5th- Rob McLean said Kane took the free-kick against the Sheep when it was Pope.
December 4th- BBC On-line says "former Dundee striker" Graeme Jones will face Rangers. So Dundee's in Wigan now is it?
September 20th - Dens park report from BBC Online reads "LOWNDES LATE DOUBLE ROBS SAINTS" - What ineptitude.
August 27th- Ceefax tells us "Saints head to Germany" in the UEFA Cup as they confuse us with Killie
August 15th- Ceefax tells us that Steve McAnespie set up the 2nd - probably one of Jasons pals!
August 15th- Hazel Irvine refers to Saints striker Jason Lowndes ?!?!?!?!
Falsehood League Standings


Football Unlimited

The Guardian version of Soccernet as found at http://www.footballunlimited.co.uk

Falsehood League Standings


Gerry McNee

STV Sports Editor, ex-Sunday Mail Columnist and the nearest we've got to a Scottish Jimmy Hill. Now writing for the News Of The World although with his obsession with Man Utd there is little Scottish content any more!!!!

Falsehood League Standings


Sky TV + SkyText

Satellite TV and Teletext for the masses - known to come to McDiarmid when a defeat is in the air. With the new Scottish Premiership on display and ex-Scotsport presenter Jim "the Hun" White at the helm expect a better showing from this mob this season.

August 23rd - Sky's WWW site has a pic of Pizza-face Wright in their Monaco report for some reason. Thanks to mailto:stuart.ferguson@virgin.net for that.
Falsehood League Standings


Chic Young

Ibrox's most famous St. Mirren fan and living proof that you need fuck-all knowledge to be a journo.

February 15th - Pre-TFOD match the Bald One thanked Sandy for playing Nathan and keeping Jones on the bench because of his bet with Richard Gordon. Pity they were both on the bench. Thanks to J.A.Morrison-3@sms.ed.ac.uk.
Falsehood League Standings


Scotsman / Scotland On Sunday / The Pink / Evening News

Edinburgh daily that will be lucky to mention Saints outside of the Old Firm meetings this season. The Pink is the Embra equivalent of the Sporting Post except it licks the bottoms of the Hibs and Hearts and includes a lot more Rugger Bugger stories. Their WWW site is here

April 14th-Evening News saysJones debuted for Saints when he scored at Easter Rd. Nope it was his second game.
April 1st- Have new Saints signing Gary Gow down to play for Ross County against Stirling.
March 24th- Scotsman's piece on foreign influx mentions Saints trial of Nash. First they seem to think we've signed him and then we get "Not magnificent enough for Chester City who released him, apparently believing he couldn't do anything for a club bottom of Division Three" - actually they released him due to financial constraints.
March 16th- Scots[Edinburgh]man's electronic report of Jamblows game 15/3/00 mentions "Stephen Ferguson " - who is he? Thanks to J.A.Morrison-3@sms.ed.ac.uk.
March 16th- Confuse Danny with Nathan - yeah they're really alike.
November 24th- Evening News mentions Scott Cuthbert as Saints youth keeper. Who he?
November 1st- Saints first shot on target at Fir Park is credited to Bollan - nope it was Danny
October 25th- Tom Lappin's report on the Sellik game said that Lowndes being subbed on Sunday was "perplexing" - He was injured! Thanks to mailto:James.Morrison.23@Hotmail.com for that one.
October 13th- Saints goal against the Arabs in the League Cup is credited to Kane not Danny.
September 20th- Apparently the home support were yelling for a red card for Douglas bringing down Thomas at Dens !!!
August 23rd - "Kevin" Lauchlan? I think not.
August 13th - Alan Pattulos otherwise excellent piece on the Saints fans in Finland had the players arriving 24 hours earlier on Tuesday night.
July 31st- Listed Georgio and Lowndes as last season's top scorers - nope it was Roddy.
July 26th- Reported Lauchlan as making his home debut v Fulham - nope he didn't play.
Falsehood League Standings


Hugh Keevins

Saintees everywhere's favourite ex-Scotsman journalist. Amazing tunnel vision since based in Embra he seems incapable of dealing with anything other than the Wegie Unwashed. New for this year since hes bound to cover some Saints games. Now writing for the Sunday Mason as the replacement for McNee (some honour eh). This man is the MOST LOATHED journalist amongst Saints fans.

December 19th- "Dallas once sent off John McQuillan in a League Cup tie against Celtic" - Nope it was John O'Neil.
September 10th- "Alan Main wasn't even born last time Saints were in Europe". Alan is 31. We were last in Europe 28 years ago. More Wegie mathematics.
July 4th- "Euro clubs will miss the 3rd round of the League Cup" - Nope we only miss rounds 1 and 2.
June 27th - "Saints have 11 players out of contract". Sorry Shug but that won't happen until next summer. Arse.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Telegraph - Electronic or otherwise



Falsehood League Standings


Times / Sunday Times



Falsehood League Standings


Match magazine



Falsehood League Standings


Daily Star

Not a regular read and probably qualifies for a discount given that its Manchester based but what the hell. Their WWW site is here

March 6th- Photo of Dods from the TFOD match captioned claiming it's Cap'n Jim. Cheers to i.a.c.greig@dundee.ac.uk for that one.
Falsehood League Standings


Sporting Life

As found at http://www.sporting-life.com/soccer/scotspremteams/stjohnstone.html - normally a fairly accurate site.

February 15th- Rangers match report credits Nathan with the last shot - it was Jones
December 17th- "St. Johnstone's Gordon Marshall" - oh dear oh dear oh dear
December 10th- Hearts preview sez they won 3-1 at the start of the season. Nope it was 4-1.
August 14th - "Midfielder Roddy Grant" - midfielder? I think not.
Falsehood League Standings


Daily Mirror

Not a regular read. Don't expect too much coverage of Saints either.

March 4th- Preview of Rangers game has a caption of Weir against a Chief photo.

Falsehood League Standings


Other Media Stuff



March 16th- Metro reported Bollan being brought down for the non-penalty against the Jambos instead of Paddy.
February 28th- Teamtalk credits Saints 2nd against the Arabs to "Neil Lowndes"
December 19th- SPL's official site at http://www.scotprem.com credits "Brian" O'Neill with Saints second at Rugby Park.
November 27thwww.footballnews.co.uk under players lists Nick Dasovic's birthdate as 1906 !!!!
November 25th.- SPL's official site at http://www.scotprem.com gets 3 falsehoods in one report. It has Jones scoring against Well last night (nope it was Hibs). We got a point at Easter Rd last Saturday. Nope it was a point at home to Aberdeen on Sunday. dont you just love it.
October 18th- SPL's official site at http://www.scotprem.com gives the score from Tynecastle as 1-0 !!!!!! Totally missing out Nathan's equaliser and even going on to describe the Jambos win. Pathetic.
Falsehood League Standings


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