Temple Of Saints - 1999 Archive News From The Oracle

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Geoff the Undersoil FancierDecember 31st- Saints are taking advantage of the winter shutdown to book hospital treatment for some players. John McQuillan has been in for a minor op on his knee. This could rule him out of the club's mid-season trip to Marbella, depending on how the injury shapes up next week. Meanwhile Nick Dasovic is heading to the Canadian team's national rehabilitation centre in his hometown of Vancouver for treatment on his injured ankle, which has ruled him out of the Gold Cup.
Away from the team and it looks like Geoff Brown(right) is set to abandon his stance against undersoil heating with plans for the club to spend £250,000 installing it under the McDiarmid surface over the summer. Speaking in the PA, the chairman said "We might not be favourites when it comes to Sky games - judging by the number of times our matches are chosen - but the onus is on football clubs, including Saints, to do all in our power to guarantee games.".
One of the postponed games from last month against the Gorgie Gits looks set to go ahead on Tuesday Feb 22nd, although this has still to be confirmed.

December 30th- Kieran McAnespie looks set to join the list of contract "rebels" according to reports with the 20-yr old free to talk to other clubs come the weekend. Whether or not they'll want to talk to him is another matter.

December 29th- Little to report today. As expected, Nick Dasovic is going to miss Canada's Gold Cup tournament through injury. And as part of the festive season the wonderful folk at the SFA have been dishing out the dosh with Saints as one of the top 10 picking up the grand sum of £30,000.

December 28th- Nathan Lowndes, hero of the Dens Park match required 2 stitches in his head wound yesterday - which is a relief to all of us who expected some nasty Scumdee biological infection to affect his bleeding wound.
Meanwhile, Saints are set to escape the "dour match at Dens" descriptions of Jim "Rhyming Slang" Delahunt with a mid-season trip to Marbella in Spain from Jan 6th to 13th. The plan is for the players to have a training camp and a couple of friendly games to hopefully build up some fitness.

December 27th- Saints head into the last match before the winter shutdown today with St. Sandy looking to the trip to Dens to trigger the rise up the table. "It is the last Tayside derby of the Millennium, and the winter break follows immediately after - so it would be nice to go out with a win. We would have preferred to be higher up the table at the half-way stage of the season, but another win tomorrow will give us a bit of a lift and something to build on after we come back." .
Meanwhile John McQuillan is laughing at the OF-obsessed "Scottish" journalists who look for a Wegie angle on anything and dare to think that our game is any less important. "There is a good rivalry between the sides - make no mistake about that. The Saints fans also remember that the Dark Blues put them down on another occasion so there is plenty of motivation for both sides. In the past, the games have been really close - there's a good bite to them and the players enjoy them."
Team newswise Saints will definitely miss out on Nick Dasovic which means a line-up along the same lines as won the game at Rugby Park. For the Lux-loathers, Annand and Grady are set to lead the attack although Wilkie and McSkimming will miss out.
7.30pm - Nathan Lowndes scored Saints goal in a sexy first half at Dens, before a piss-poor second-half performance saw Saints draw 1-1 with Scumdee. Post-match St. Sandy said "We would have settled for four points from the last two games before the winter break. At 1-0 we deserved our lead and we had a good start. In the second half we looked comfortable but we should have made more from the good possession we had.'' - comfortable? Not IMHO.
Elsewhere in the SPL the Sheep buried the Arabs 3-1 and HIVBees and Killie shared a 2-2 draw at Easter Rd. Oh yeah and the boring OF drew 1-1.

December 26th- As can be expected there's little real news today. Referee for tomorrow's trip to Dens has been confirmed as Alan Freeland - currently bottom of the 1999-2000 Referee Votes. Which is not nice....

Nick set to miss outDecember 24th- Nick Dasovic (right) is struggling to make Monday's final Derby of the Century against Scumdee. St. Sandy said "Nick is definitely struggling at the moment. He is able to start running OK but it quickly gets painful for him. We want to give him every chance to play against Dundee, especially as we have decided that if he isn't involved then he won't travel with Canada. You can't take risks with footballers'well-being so the decision will be a medical one. As I say, though, Nick's chances don't look too good at the minute." . Better news for Saints fans is that Alan Main will definitely play. Looking ahead to the game, the manager said "There are no shortage of things to motivate us for this one, not least of which is the chance to head into the winter break in decent shape". The Dens Park pitch is currently protected by a hot air dome so things look hopeful that the game will go ahead.

December 23rd- Nothing to report in the papers other than a comment from St. Sandy that there is still an offer on the table for the contract rebels and they still figure in his team plans.

December 22nd- Tonight's SPL match saw TFOD get their customary Xmas 90th minute goal with a 1-0 win over the Gorgie Gits.
Not much news Saints-wise, although Blue Heaven is planning to start up a fanzine in the New Year (titled Blue Heaven surprisingly enough). Anyone that wants to write something for it can e-mail Gary Panton at mailto:fanzine@popr.prestel.co.uk.

Biscuits AwaDecember 21st- Long-term injury victim Allan Preston left Saints on Friday for a one-month loan deal at Queen of the South. Unfortunately his first game for the Doonhammers on Saturday saw him leave the field at half-time with cracked ribs. Elsewhere on the injury front, Nick Dasovic remains a doubt for the Dens match thanks to his ankle injury, although the slightly better news is that if he misses Monday's game, then he'll be ruled out of the Canada internationals at the start of next year.
On the transfer front, Aberdeen are apparently now set to launch a "six-figure" bid for John McQuillan, having watched him several times. According to tonight's Evening Telegraph, the bid is expected as soon as next week when the SPL shuts down for a winter break.
Last night's U-21 game with Killie was postponed due to an icy pitch.

John McQDecember 20th- Transfer speculation today, with both Bolton and Luton watching contract rebel John McQuillan (right) at the weekend. The Saints right-back is out of contract in the summer and is free to speak to other clubs come January 1st.

December 19th- Congratulations to BBC last night for failing to show Pizzaboys hack on Bollan. Still at least the goals were on the telly. Meanwhile everyone's favourite senile pundit Hugh Keevins is at it again.
There's another Saints site up and running at Bluer than Blue
Tonight's SPL game saw the HIVBees notch up a 3-0 win at Tynecastle.

Del - back on formDecember 18th- Santa dropped off some early Xmas presents for Saints fans today with the boys clocking up a 2-1 win at Killie with a first half showing which gave some hope that sexy football could be on the way back. Pope opened the scoring with his first competitive goal for Saints, whilst John O'Neil (right) sealed the win with a lovely second. Alan Main came through the full 90 minutes, although the kicking was again left to Danny Griffin.
Saints highlights will be on BBC Sportscene tonight.

Pope ready for a miracle?December 17th- With snow forecast for central Scotland today, there's still a good chance Saints will see a third footie-free weekend. However, if the game does go ahead it seems certain that Alan Main will "play through the pain barrier" and retain the no. 1 slot. Less certain though is Nick Dasovic whose chances are only rated at 50-50. Apparently Pope (right) or Paul Kane will replace him.
Saints are getting hungry for some action although thanks to a frozen artificial pitch yesterday even training was limited. St. Sandy said "It was getting dangerous and we couldn't take a risk of any more injuries. Nick had a scan on his injured ankle and he needs treatment. It's going to be touch and go. But I'm fairly confident Alan will play. As long as he says he can play on we'll delay the surgery. It could be like the situation with Alan Kernaghan last season and as Alan (Main) is a keeper rather than an outfield player he might get away with it longer."
The postponed match against TFOD has been rearranged for Tuesday February 15th at 7.45pm. Original tickets are still valid for this game.

December 15th- Last night's CIS cup-tie between Killie and the Gorgie Gits was postponed due to a frozen Rugby Park pitch. Whilst this isn't great news for those of us wanting to see a game on Saturday, the 6pm call-off does mean that the Gorgie Gits supporters will be even more pissed off thanks to being half-way to the game again !!!!

December 14th- Even without playing Saints' injury situation has worsened. Alan Main is facing an op on his groin and could be out for 12 weeks. The Scotland internationalist is likely to have the op at the start of the winter shutdown to minimise the number of games he'll miss. The "groin complaint" has been affecting the player for weeks and although there is a chance he'll make the Killie game at the weekend (assuming it goes ahead), any relapse and he'll be under the knife before Xmas. However the club are hopeful that any op can be postponed to the summer but the way our luck is going don't expect it. Both Dolph and Stephen Robertson are fully fit now though. Nick Dasovic is also going to the Murrayfield today to check on a damaged ankle which would have kept him out of the Jambos game as well. There is no bone damage but the scan is to check for ligament problems.
Last night's U-21 game against the Gorgie Gits was postponed. The SPL fixture postponed from last Saturday is likely to be rearranged for February.
Finally, Saints want a new tannoy announcer. Contact managing director Stewart Duff on Perth 459090 for details.

Geoff the SkintDecember 13th- Alan Main has been revealed to be suffering from a groin injury which explains the failed fitness test Saturday morning. The Gorgie Gits match is another tie set to be rearranged for the New Year with Saints starting to develop a fixture backlog.
Chairman Geoff Brown meanwhile is bemoaning the estimated £5-6000 which the 2 postponements have caused the club although there is "no cash crisis", despite Saints set to be deprived of a home cash gate until the end of January.

Alan Main - Injured or What?December 11th- The McDiarmid pitch strikes again as ref Stuart Dougal declared it unplayable and called today's match with the Gorgie Gits off. Several puddles on the surface and the likelihood of continued rain meant a 2pm postponement, which whilst the teams both seemed happy about does leave certain fans (ie myself) greatly frustrated.
In the end though it looks like Saints had a few more injuries to worry about. Kevin Thomas has had flu all week and been unable to train, whilst Alan Main (right) was apparently ruled out with an unspecified injury today, with Stephen Robertson set to take his place.
Elsewhere in the wonderful SPL the results were - Sheep 0 TFOE 6, TFOD 1 Killie 0 and HIVBees 2 Well 2. In the 2nd Division, Andy Whiteford got Stirling's second in their 3-0 win.

Sandy - "Holding Out"December 10th- It's the Last match of the Millenium at McDiarmid tomorrow !!!. It's pay at the gate as well so there's no excuse for a big turnout to see our season turn round.
But of course that doesn't stop St. Sandy (right) from adopting a cautious attitude. The Saints boss saw the Sheep gub the Gorgie Gits 3-1 at Pittodrie midweek but isn't expecting an attacking performance by Saints going by his comments to Sporting Life today. "Apart from the Old Firm, the eight teams in our league are very similar and that is why you get inconsistencies. Hearts will not be happy with the result on Wednesday but they have some very talented players and will be difficult to beat. They have invested quite a bit of money lately and are an attack-minded team. They back themselves to score more goals than they concede and it is up to us to hold them out.". "hold them out" ????.....Whatever happened to the delights of sexy football and the policy of ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK !!!!!!. I hate to say it but this is the sort of defeatist attitude an ex-manager adopted at TFOD/E grounds. But this time we're at home to the Gorgie Gits ferchrissake !!!!! We need the win tomorrow or else I fear for a very bleak festive season.
In terms of team news for tomorrow there's little to report from the Saints camp with both Alan Main and Nick Dasovic taking advantage of the break to fully recover from their injuries. For the maroon HIV mob, Locke is injured whilst they expect to play McShaggin, Gordan Pigbitch and new signing Fitzroy Simpson.
Elsewhere, trialist Lee Roberston has headed back to Norway with no deal imminent following a complete lack of match action for the ex-TFOD winger to allow the club to assess him. Blame the weather for that one.
With the U-21 match this week called off, the next chance to watch the Saints youngsters comes when we take on the junior Gorgie Gits on Monday at Stark's Park - kick-off 7pm. Today, the Saints U-18s beat their Arab counterparts 2-1, with both Saints goals coming from Kiegan Parker.
Finally, the Official Saints Site has some official wallpaper you can download.

December 8th- It looks like last weekend's postponed SPL match against TFOD won't be played until after the mid-season break. The club hope to announce the rearranged date by the end of the week. Tickets bought for last Saturday's game will remain valid.
Tonight's sole SPL match saw the Sheep get their first home win of the season with a 3-1 gubbing of Saints opponents this weekend, the Gorgie Gits.

December 7th- Darren Dods is aiming to be back in action for Saints after the mid-season break. As to who he'll replace in defence we'll have to wait and see.
Elsewhere, Saints are still miffed about Saturday's call-off with the PA quoting a "McDiarmid Park" insider. "Yet again we're on the wrong end of an official's decision where one of the Old Firm is concerned.", whilst Stewart Duff was a bit more diplomatic saying "I realise decisions have to be made early for the benefit of the fans but we genuinely felt the referee was wasting his time in coming to Perth for the inspection. The pitch seemed perfectly playable and that was six hours before kick-off. We felt the game should have gone ahead."
Finally, ex-Saints hero and all-round nice guy Paul Cherry has announced his retirement from playing at the age of 35. The midfielder currently at Inverness Caley Thistle has had to give up the game due to injury. Still we won't see the last of him as he intends to become an agent.

MiguelDecember 5th- Just to cheer us all up after a weekend of no football, today's Sunday Mail reports that Miguel Simao (right) has turned down the offer of a new contract and that Aberdeen are preparing a £75,000 bid for the player.
Today's SPL results saw a Doddsless Arabs go down 3-0 at Tynecastle to the Gorgie Gits.
The West of Scotland Saints Supporters have a new website up at westofscotlandsaints.co.uk

December 4th- 09.15 - Saints are awaiting the 10am pitch inspection ahead of the TFOD match with Stewart Duff reckoning the pitch is just playable. The "Andy Rhodes" Balloon isn't down but the pitch has been covered since yesterday lunchtime. With TFODs 'injury' crisis (which has also sparked rumours that Wiggy tried to get the game called off due to having to possibly field Colin Hendry) and suspensions, there won't be an easier time to play the bigots so let's hope it goes ahead.
Meanwhile BBC On-line has hit the first Media Falsehood of the weekend.
10.30am- Wiggy got his way - today's match has been postponed.
2.30pm - It looks like there's some controversy surrounding this morning's cancellation. Interviewed on Radio Scotland, chairman Geoff Brown said that he thought that the pitch was playable and even asked the ref John Underhill what parts of the pitch were causing concern. The ref then "declined to give an answer". The radio says that "behind the scenes", Saints are more than a little pissed off by the cancellation. Who says the men in black don't try and help TFOD when they can. No word on a rearranged fixture date yet but it looks likely to be in January.
5.30pm - Today's sole SPL match saw "crisis club" TFOE gub the HIVBees 4-0.

Andys AwaDecember 3rd- For anyone with a masochistic streak, Saints home tie against TFOD is set to be Sportscene this Saturday. Meanwhile TFOD are struggling to have any fit strikers although given the current weather forecast and Saints luck no doubt the game will be called off to keep Wiggy happy.
5.45pm news - Latest on tomorrow's match is that a 10am pitch inspection is planned although according to the club the game will go ahead unless the weather changes for the worse tonight. Little Saints team news ahead of the game but TFOD are obviously panicking - they're set to sign ex-Saints striker Billy Dodds in a £1.5m from the Arabs deal today. Sympathy for our Soap-Dodging rivals - nah. St. Sandy's pre-match comments went along the usual lines. "We've beaten the Old Firm at McDiarmid in the recent past and we're capable of doing so again. Graeme Jones has a good scoring record at every club he's played for and he's got off to a good start. But we can't put all the pressure on him. Last season most of the players weighed in with goals and we've to get that habit back. We've been working on creating more chances." He also appealed for Perth fans in an all-ticket crowd to be patient and get right behind their team.
Off the field and the Legend (currently on a one month loan at Ayr) has been joined on the exodus by U-21 regular, defender Andy Whiteford (right) who has gone to Stirling Albion on a 2-month loan deal.
One possible incomer is ex-TFOD reject and current Bodo Glimt player Lee Roberston, who according to today's Sun is currently spending a 7-day trial period at McDiarmid. With the player being a left-winger any signing move by Saints would be likely to kill off the Tommy Løvenkrands deal. However Roberston currently has a Norwegian girlfriend so could stay in Scandanavia. Ironically he's also been in talks with Danish club IK Start who Løvenkrands currently plays for.
Saints youths beat Arbroath 2-1 on Wednesday night at Gayfield to make the quarter-finals of the SFA Youth Cup.
Anyone looking for Saints Xmas presents should have their problems solved. The club is bringing out a calendar priced £6.95 this year and a "Millenium" top priced £22.99. Also BBC's Off The Ball team have a 2000 annual out - Saints own Aggie Moffat adorns the cover.
Finally the April 22nd home SPL match against TFOD has been punted to the Sunday night to cater for the demands of Sky TV.

LegendDecember 1st- Legend was a Saints striker amongst the goals last night. Problem was it was for Ayr Utd in their 1-1 draw with Inverness. The veteran Saints no. 9 has begun a loan spell with the Somerset Park side. End of an era?
Back at the sacred McDiarmid Park it looks like Goalden Graeme will recover from his groin strain in time to square up to TFOD's psychopathic Aussie defender Craig "Kick the Keeper" Moore.

Top Of News


Father DougalNovember 30th - Long-term injury victimFather Dougal is heading to the SRU clinic at Murrayfield in an attempt to make a return to first-team action after the winter shutdown. The Irishman who has only played twice this season said "It's been a nightmare, time is running out for me making a return before the break. I've had one problem after another since the operation and our physio Nick Summersgill used his rugby contacts to fix-up a visit to the SRU rehab specialist Steven Mutch. Basically all my problems have been on the right side and it seems I've got a pelvis imbalance. All these years of football have taken their toll. I've been working on specific strengthening exercises and I'm optimistic now. There's been a big improvement. I haven't had a pre-season since coming here so basically that's what I'll be going through in Spain. I'll give myself a real pummelling". Meanwhile Goalden Graeme is getting treatment to a groin strain picked up at the weekend.
St. Sandy isn't making excuses though for the weekend saying "They are all modern professional footballers and they should be able to handle three games in six days". The word "footballer" being used in the "crappier than Dundee Utd" sense there.
Saints U-21s drew 2-2 with their Arab counterparts last night with the goals coming from George O'Boyle and Keyring.

November 27th - Nothing to report today other than next week looks even more depressing. Saints slipped to 8th in the SPL thanks to Scumdee getting a 2-1 win at Ibrox (so guess which mob of Govan bigots will be fired up for next week), whilst TFOE lost 3-2 at Motherwell.

November 27th - Alan Main will undergo a fitness test this morning but is likely to play at Tannadice.
7.00pm- Another crap performance as Saints lose 1-0 to Dundee Utd. A semi-decent second-half fightback doesn't cover the crap first-half and the total lack of goalscoring chances we are either creating of finishing. Post-match comments by St. Sandy were of the usual "last season we would have won this. We're not putting the chances away" - ach you know the cliches as well as me by now. And they're wearing thin.
Elsewhere in the SPL Killie and the Jambos drew 2-2 whilst HIVBees beat the Sheep 2-0.

November 26th - Alan Main still thinks we can make Europe this season. Amazing what a win can do. Speaking after Wednesday night's heroics, Scotland's no. 1 said "We put a lot of pressure on ourselves by finishing third last season and getting a place in the UEFA Cup. But I don't see why we can't claim third place again. We picked ourselves up to beat Hibs and we've got to keep doing that if we want to move up the table".
For tomorrow but the Arabs look set to lose Quim Ferraz, whilst Paul Kane is expected to be fit for Saints - although a return to central midfield looks unlikely.
Off the field, reports have it that Danny Griffin is weighing up a "lucrative" 2-year contract. However the N. Ireland internationalist is not expected to make a decision before the New Year.

November 25th - Last night's goalscorer Goalden Graeme has admitted that the volley which won us the match against the HIVBees was a bit of a fluke. "The ball broke to me and I just hit it. I don't normally get them from that range. I am the sort of player who thrives on crosses. If you get the ball to me in the box, I can put them away. Of course it was nice to score again but I was aware the team needed a victory and to get that is the most pleasing thing of all."
Elsewhere, UEFA have seen the merits of having St. Sandy's Euro Army making trips to the continent and awarded Scotland an third UEFA Cup slot next season. And if we stay top of the Fair Play League then it means that we could have 5 teams in Europe.
Plenty of new Media Falsehoods from last night and Chic Young is now the new AntiSaint following his criticism of our new classy striker.

November 24th - Last night's SPL match saw Motherwell beat the Gorgie Gits 2-1 with Gits' keeper Gilles "Crap" Rousset red-carded.
Paul Kane commented on the importance of tonights match saying "The last two seasons have been excellent for the club - although last year topped everything with UEFA Cup qualification. This term simply hasn't been good enough. We were desperate to beat Aberdeen on Sunday - but at least we showed a bit of character to come back for a point. Hopefully, we can carry that on at Easter Road. If nothing else, the draw against Aberdeen stopped the rot of defeats. I don't think it's anything like a crisis at the moment - but I'm the first to admit if the run was to carry on we'd have problems." The midfielder is unlikely to play however as he is still suffering from a pulled neck muscle. Alan Main has passed a fitness test and will play though.
Midnight -Hibs 0 Saints 1 - doesn't it make wonderful reading. Another cracking goal from Goalden Graeme and a couple of world-class saves from Alan Main saw 3 points head to Perth for the first time since mid-September. Life is good.

Kevin Cuthbert - Debut time?November 23rd - Saints have a major keeping crisis ahead of tomorrow's trip to Easter Rd. Already ruled out injured is Allan Ferguson with Stephen Robertson only in with a slight chance of recovering from his back spasm received for the U-21s last week. Added to that now is groin injury victim Alan Main who according to St. Sandy is "only 60-40 to be able to play". This could mean a first team debut for youth keeper Kevin Cuthbert (right) although we would be left without any cover on the bench.
Also likely to miss out with a pulled neck muscle is Paul Kane. Nick Dasovic is expected to replace him in the centre of midfield.
Away from the first team and the U-21s lost 4-1 at Pittodrie last night. Scandanavian trialist Christian Birkeland is on his way home with no move likely - St. Sandy is quoted as saying that he's "not what we're looking for".

MoM Chief O'HalloranNovember 22nd - Post-match comments from St. Sandy last night praised new signing Goalden Graeme Jones. "I was delighted with Graeme. Since I came here we've been looking for a new younger version of Roddy Grant. He did what I was wanting from him. Sometimes you need a physical presence in attack, and it's difficult to get that type of player. We've good strikers at the club but have missed a player like Graeme.". A younger version of Legend - just what we've been needing for the last 5 years !!!!!
Congratulations to Daily Record with the first Media Falsehood from last night. Mind you the paper also refers to John McQuillan as a transfer-listed unsung hero and gives it's man of the match award to Keith O'Halloran (right)
6.30pm - According to tonight's Evening Telegraph, Saints have "agreed a fee and personal terms with the Danish midfield trialist who did well in Roddy Grant’s testimonial match against Coventry." - that's good old Tommy Løvenkrands to the rest of us. However in the great tradition of Saints signing Swedes, the deal has been put on hold. The players girlfriend is expecting a baby in a couple of months and doesn't want to move to Scotland before then. For thos of us that remember the saga of Lars Gunnar Karlstrand and the tales of Dundee cake, Rottweilers and stolen mobile phones this won't come as a surprise. Still hopefully she'll give birth early and we'll have him for the season from January onwards.

November 21st - Some gems in the media from new signing Graeme Jones (known as Graeme the Goal by some Wigan fans). Speaking of his move the Gateshead-born striker says "I fancied a fresh challenge. In fact if I am honest I fancied a fresh challenge after the championship-winning season as I knew it would be difficult to get to that level again. St Johnstone finished third in the table last season and I am excited about joining them and ready for it. They are a homely football club with superb facilities and I am optimistic about the future. The manager sees me as a target and to put myself about. That suits me and I will give my all." ....the new Legend?
Remember that prices for tonight's game are £5 all round (although us season ticket holders are still technically paying full-price....can you hear me Saints?).
9.00pm - A late equaliser from Goalden Graeme Jones in a dire 1-1 draw with Aberdeen saved Saints blushes. But yet again certain so-called "experienced professionals" were conspicuous by their lack of basic skills. And with the Saints programme having another good dig at the Internet mailing list you have to ask whether or not it's worthwhile carrying on following such shite.
Trialist Christian Birkeland from Chievo Verona (although their fans haven't heard of him) was in the stand tonight. St. Sandy wants to see him play another friendly before making a decision.

November 20th - Little new team news ahead of tomorrow's match with "Corporal" Jones lining up for his debut for Gods Chosen Team whilst the Sheep have their own new striker up front in Arvil Stadrum (or something).
Today's SPLscores were Rangers 2 Hibs 0, Hearts 1 Celtic 2, Killie 1 Arabs 1 and Scumdee 0 Motherwell 1. Colin Cameron of Jambos and debut boy Nicky Banger of Scumdee were red-carded.

Graeme JonesNovember 19th - Just when you think it's going to be a quiet day, St. Sandy springs a surprise. With Saints fans looking towards Scandanavia all week for a midfielder, Ceefax has explained the links with Wigan recently. Saints today spent £100,000 signing 29-yr old Wigan striker Graeme Jones (right). The striker has signed a 3-year contract and said "It's a fantastic new challenge for me and I aim to be successful here". The official Official Wigan Athletic Site has more details.
Trialist Christian Birkeland (the man with no face) played for Saints in a closed-doors match against Ayr Utd. In the U-21 match on Monday night, Saints were beaten 1-0 at home by Hibs.
Elsewhere, there are the usual quotes from the manager about "needing the breaks" as we look ahead to Sunday night's live Sky match against a team who are even worse than us this season.
For a change Saints go in as favourites in the home tie with Aberdeen. Nick Dasovic, who was badly missed against Scumdee is in with "an outside chance" of making the team.
Elsewhere, Daily Mail reflected on the Scotland stars of the future with Saints' own Kieran McAnespie described as "the new John Collins". God I hope they're right.

November 17th - Another Scandanavian is reported to be heading to McDiarmid in today's Sun. Christian Birkeland, a Norwegian left-sided midfielder is out of contract at Italian Serie B side Verona and is heading to Perth for transfer talks. The paper says that "Birkelund is highly rated in both Norway and Italy". The former Norway U-21 star played 4 seasons with IK Start before moving to Verona.

November 16th - Latest news on Tommy Løvenkrands is that the Dane has returned home with no sign of a move being imminent. St. Sandy has said he wants to see the player in action for his club before making a decision.
Meanwhile on the injury front things are getting better - Nick Dasovic is due back in training "within days" whilst both Il Biscotti and Pope were set to play in last night's U-21 match.
The HIBS match at Easter Road on Wed 24th November has been made all-ticket. Tickets priced £16 and £8 are available from McDiarmid.

Tommy LÝvenkrandsNovember 13th - Some searching on the Danish football sites has revealed that last night's trialist is a Mr Tommy Løvenkrands (pictured right), a 25yr old from AB. He's apparently been on trial with Portsmouth as well but there's no mention of that at any Portsmouth WWW site. The left-winger is under contract until summer 2000 so if we make a move for him a fee will be involved.

November 12th - A night of pure emotion at McDiarmid for the testimonial to Legend, with Saints running out 3-2 winners over Coventry City with some sexy football on display again especially from the Trialist on the left-wing (one goal and most of the skill). Still the night belonged to Legend who got a penalty for Saints third goal in front of a slightly disappointing crowd of 2638.

Roddy the SupermodelNovember 11th - Ahead of his testimonial match against Gordon Strachan's Coventry City team tomorrow night, there's good news for Legend the supermodel (pictured right in his oh-so-trendy St. Johnstone tartan suit). The striker has managed to get tickets for that other game on Saturday courtesy of Alan Main. Admission to the match is £10 and £5. Understandably season tickets are not valid for the game, although strangely the club have opted to only open the East and West stands for the match. With over 200 appearances and 79 goals for the club in his two stints, the striker voted Star Saint of the Decade at Blue Heaven by the Saints faithful deserves a large crowd. Let's face it, how many of the current squad are likely to be around long enough to earn a similar level of acclaim as Legend.
Meanwhile in the land of Crisis Football, today's Sun links Saints with a move for ex-Celtic star (and I use the word in the broadest sense), Brian McLaughlin, currently at Wigan with a swap deal involving Paddy Thingy apparently on the cards. We'll see.
Finally good luck to BBC Reporting Scotland's latest star Saintee, Scotland U-15 international Emmanuel Panther in the Victory Shield clash with England tonight.

November 9th - Saints U-21 side managed to do what the seniors didn't with a 3-0 win at Dens against their Scumdee counterparts. Paddy Thingy was playing and scored so it looks like the Wigan trial is off. The other scorers were Kieran McAnespie and Kevin Thomas. In the BP Youth cup we won 4-2 at Stark's Park against Raith Rovers. Saints goals came from Darren Kearney, Martin Fotheringham, Kiegan Parker and Brendan Crozier. So at least some players know where the net is.
St. Sandy has said how "the two week break could be good" with injury victims Il Biscotti, Nick Dasovic, Father Dougal and Pope all set ot be available for selection by the time the Aberdeen game comes round.
Still there are some things to smile about with Hugh Dallas volunteering !!! to referee Friday night's testimonial. Expect Legend to score a hat-trick despite not even kicking a ball.

Miguel the PoorerNovember 8th - As the club talk about moving players about, out-of-favour striker Paddy Connolly is set to head to the delights of Wigan for a week's trial. Meanwhile runours are going round of a bust-up between St. Sandy and Miguel Simao (right) with the latter having been fined a week's wages for turning up late at training and not putting enough effort in. All very worrying for the Saints fans.
Ex-Scotland captain Gary McAllister is reported to be set to miss out on the testimonial to Legend this coming Friday as he apparently is afraid of the treatment Scots fans will give him. As if we don't have enough on our minds to worry about someone that missed a penalty in Euro 96.

November 6th - The rot continues with a 1-0 home defeat to Scumdee sending Saints to 3rd bottom. Post match cliche this week is that "it's just one of those spells". Well a word of warning for St. Sandy - there are a lot of rumours starting to circulate about shoogly pegs. Things might not be that drastic yet but the squad badly needs pruned of those players who are just killing time.

Nick DasovicNovember 5th - Saints have one major injury worry ahead of tomorrow's derby against the rat-munchers with midfielder Nick Dasovic (right) currently on crutches after damaging ankle ligaments in a training session. The Canadian internationalist is set to miss out tomorrow's game but the injury isn't too serious and he should be back in a couple of weeks.
In terms of team selection, St. Sandy welcomes back John O'Neil and Jim Weir from injury with Keith O'Halloran and Stuart McCluskey the likely candidates to move aside. With Saints not scoring a win in 7 games the pressure is building on the manager to get a result against our biggest rivals. Failure tomorrow and Scumdee move ahead of us in the table - not an appetising prospect.
Still there are some good news with the papers reporting that Danny Griffin is "still in talks" regarding a new contract and hopes "to sort something out soon". So do we Danny.....
Congratulations to AS Monaco who progressed to the third round of the UEFA Cup where they now face AEK Athens. If only.......

November 3rd - The SFA have given the go-ahead for the Legend testimonial match against Coventry City to be played on Friday November 12th. Coventry manager Gordon Strachan has already promised to bring a full squad north including their 2 Morrocan internationalists. Entry to the match is via a cash gate with prices of £10 and £5. Only the East and West stands will be open and season tickets are NOT valid. There will also be a commemorative programme issued.
Elsewhere on the injury front, Gerry McMahon is expected to be fit to face Scumdee at the weekend along with Il Biscotti. John O'Neil should be back in training this week although Father Dougal is still 2-3 weeks away from a return.

November 2nd - Saints U-21 side beat Motherwell 1-0 at McDiarmid last night with the winner coming from a Paddy Connolly shot. The full side was Robertson, Smith, McCulloch, Malcolm, Keddie, Preston, Lauchlan, Kearney, McAnespie, Connolly and Grant.

November 1st - Nothing in the papers - just more of the St. Sandy quotes about "Bad luck".

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October 31st- With the black clouds still hanging around from yesterday's result, there's little to report. There is a new Saints website up for the West of Scotland Saints Supporters.
Tonight's SPL match saw Hibs get a 3-2 win at home to the Arabs.

October 30th- Latest team news from Motherwell has the Buckfast-quenchers signing ex-Saints player John Davies from Ayr. The "gobbing" midfielder is expected to go into the squad for today's game.
6.45pm - Well Gob didn't play but he didn't need to as ex-Saints player Kevin Twaddle scored an early goal as Saints lost 1-0 at Motherwell. The clubs 3rd defeat in 7 days saw plenty of effort over the midweek debacle but little goalmouth action to encourage the home support ahead of next week's local derby. Elsewhere in the SPL TFOD beat the Sheep 5-1 at Pittodrie whilst TFOE recorded the same score at home to Killie. The only other top game saw Scumdee get their first home win of the season with a 1-0 defeat of the Gorgie Gits. Post-match, the manager's commented that "At the moment we're not getting any breaks but that is the ups and downs of football. Last season at this stage we had some breaks and we would have probably have taken something from a game like today's. We had plenty of play and certainly tremendous effort in the second half but apart from a deflected shot we didn't put any real pressure on their substitute keeper Stevie Woods."

Legend set for Testimonial date?October 29th- First some news about the testimonial match for Roddy Grant. Currently Coventry City are set to head to Perth for the game on Friday November 12th. However, with the match set to be played less than 24 hours of the Scotland v England Euro 2000 play-off at Hampden, the SFA have decided to wait on police approval before giving the nod to the game being played. According to the papers today, this is because they are worried about possible trouble from the hooligan element. A decision is expected to be made soon. Either way let's hope that the Legend gets the turnout he deserves.
In terms of team news for tomorrow's tie there is little to report. St. Sandy has dropped Jim Weir from the squad totally after the defender failed to improve on his poor fitness this week. Added to the squad are Allan Preston and Gerry McMahon as Saints look for their first win in SIX games against a Motherwell side which have not recorded a win at Fir Park in 1999. Oh yes and the game is one of those set to be featured on Sportscene tomorrow night.

October 28th- Little to report today with the only Saints items being the post-match comments last night by St. Sandy. In an attempt to state the obvious, the "dejected" boss said "We lost the game for two reasons. We didn't have one shot on target and didn't force their keeper into a save. We also had individuals who did not play anything like thei capable of. It was a poor performance" - and so say all of us. Whether or not this means changes for Saturday we'll have to wait and see.

Il Biscotti to Return ??October 27th- St. Sandy, unlike most of the Saints fans wants to forget about Sunday's debacle ahead of tonights game. Speaking in the Retatd, the Saints boss said "It happened but it's now in the past. It was a mistake, but a genuine one. It's over with and there's no point looking back. All you can hope for is that there will be one decision which goes for us in the future." - tonight would do nicely for a start !!
Saints have a couple of new injury worries with both John O'Neil and John Paul McBride joining the casualty list. Saints have added Allan Preston, Roddy Grant and Gerry McMahon to the squad. More worrying though, is the news that Nathan Lowndes faces a late fitness test after picking up a knock on Sunday.
11.00pm - Another crap home performance as a lacklustre side loses 1-0 to the Arabs thanks to a Dodds goal. A tolerable referee but shocking tactics and performance from Saints. The only good thing tonight was the red card at Parkhead for Motherwell's Shaun Teale ruling him out of Saturdays clash with Saints. Well won 1-0 at Parkhead whilst the Jambos and Killie drew 2-2.

October 26th- Not much in the news regarding Saints today outwith the controversy surrounding Sunday's game. SKY's own Virtual Reality system has proved that the ball didn't come close to crossing the line for the TFOE 2nd goal, with Paul Kane the latest Saints player to go on record criticising the match officials.
Looking ahead to tomorrow night's match with the Arabs, the Coagies have already got Kalashnikov and Thompson doubtful and Siggi Thingy and Paterson ruled out - probably just means they're relying on another shite referee.
For Saints, St. Sandy has finally revealed why John O'Neil has had to settle for a place on the bench recently. "John hasn't been playing to the standards he set for himself last season. As soon as he regains that form, with his ability he will be back into the team. I've no idea whether the uncertainty over his future has been playing a part in his performances but it's up to players in that situation to handle it." Not a very subtle message there then.

October 25th- The furore surrounding Saints defeat last night continues, with Dick Donnelly saying that he was surprised St. Sandy remained as calm as he did. Gary Bollan is reported as still being "furious" but has"been told to remain tight-lipped about the affair".

Stuart McCluskey - another start.October 24th- As Saints prepare to square up to the "lets be all sympathetic towards them cos Henprik had a nasty injury" TFOE, it looks like the team will stick with the central defensive partnership on Danny Griffin and Stuart McCluskey (right).
Please note there will be a minutes silence tonight before the match in memory of Saints' honorary president Bruce McDiarmid who died last week.
Meanwhile off the park, Wegielands finest Sabbath journal, the Sunday Mail has a front page story on Saints keeper Alan Main's father who is apparently an alcoholic. Even given the tenuous links between the tale and Saints, this to me is another gross invasion of privacy. And isn't it strange how it comes out the day we play TFOE? Pathetic scum.
The scummy day continued with Saints losing 2-1 to TFOE after a 92nd minute winner which even John Barnes and BBC Wegieland admitted never crossed the line. Expect the controversy over referee Hugh Dallas' pathetic attempts to endear himself to the TFOE scum to continue for the next few days.
23:50 - Scotsport tonight reports that Hugh Dallas commented post-match that he had to give the non-goal since his linesman flagged it. Strange how it didn't stop him overruling linesmen for the rest of the game. And what's he doing speaking to a reporter anyway?

October 23rd- As expected there is no mention of Saints in the papers today with the entire world still trying to come to terms with Henpriks injury. Elsewhere in the SPL Hibs beat Scumdee 5-2, Motherwell got a 2-0 win at Tannadice and the Sheep and Killie shared a 2-2 draw.

October 22nd- Leigh Jenkinson the one-time Saints "star" winger and Welsh internationalist has been given the boot by the Gorgie Gits. No doubt he's as homesick as ever.
Meanwhile, George O'Boyle is looking forward to Sunday night's match against TFOE. Despite referring to the Wegie ones as "the best side in Scotland", the Irishman says "We're not afraid of them. I'm currently on 82 goals and I want to get some more for the club".

October 21st-Nothing happening on the Saints front with the only piece of news for Sunday's match concerning the TFOE line-up which is certain to be missing Henprick who broke his leg in Lyon tonight. There goes the opportunity to try out our Finnish phrasebook then.

October 16th- After a pretty woeful first half which saw Saints go behind, it was a Nathan Lowndes wonder goal which saw us get a well-deserved 1-1 draw against Hearts.
Elsewhere in the SPL, next weeks opponents Sellik slaughtered the sheep 7-0 whilst TFOD drew 1-1 with Killie. The only other game saw HIVBees and Well draw 2-2.

Father Dougal - the injured oneOctober 15th- Well the bad news ahead of tomorrow's match at Tynecastle is the loss of Alan Kernaghan (right) thanks to a torn stomach muscle. The big Irishman will be out for a month, and with Jim Weir not training the last few days, U-21 star Stuart McCluskey is set to come into the centre of defence.
Meanwhile the Messiah is also suffering from an ankle knock and could miss out as well. For the Gorgie Gits, Stephane Adam is the only doubt.
Other team news sees the responsibility of penalty-taker removed from double-misser Gary Bollan.

October 12th- A cracking free-kick by Danny Griffin isn't enough as Saints lose 2-1 at home to the Arabs and go out the league cup. Post-match, St. Sandy came out with the classic "We had plenty of chances but if you don't score you don't win". Unfortunately we did score but then lost 2 stupid goals.
For anyone thinking of heading to Tynecastle on Saturday, the club has confirmed that the game is NOT all-ticket - but it is £16 to get in. Still if it keeps Robinson in some more pies eh?

Capn JimOctober 11th- Saints have several injury worries ahead of tomorrow night's visit of the Hilltoon Whores Spawn. Jim Weir (right) is set to miss out with his ankle knock despite having resumed training. Also doubtful is Nick Dasovic who arrives back in Scotland tonight having played 3 games in 5 days for Canada. Whether or not he plays depends on his fitness level.

October 10th- Another quiet international weekend passes with no Saints players in action for Scotland. Only thing worth reporting is a mention in the News of the World which lists Man City as the lates club interested in John O'Neil, with boss Joe Royle apparently set to make a trip north to check him out.

October 8th- Well the end of another quiet week and still no real Saints news. The only team news for Tuesday's League Cup is that Danny Griffin is expected to recover from his knee injury to make the side.

October 7th- Thanks to Scotland making the Euro 2000 play-offs, the away game against HIVBees has been moved from Saturday November 13th to Wednesday November 24th with a 7.45 kick-off. Great another Saturday without football.

October 6th- Saints U-21s beat Scumdee 5-0 at McD this afternoon with George O'Boyle and Gerry McMahon both on target. Paddy Thingy came off the bench to make a rare appearance in a Saints side. He didn't score.

October 5th- Out of favour striker Paddy Thingy has returned to Saints following his month's loan spell at Morton with no agreement on a longer term deal, despite Saints willing to take a cut on the fee and Morton wishing to make the move permanent.
Danny Griffin has been pulled out of the N. Ireland U-21 side to allow treatment to a knee injury.

KeyringOctober 4th- Saints may not be playing this week but despite what you might read in the papers, we actually have some players involved in international duty. Nick Dasovic is set to play 3 games for Canada in their Gold Cup competition over the next 5 days, whilst Kieran McAnespie (right) got a well-deserved call-up to the Scotland U-21 side for their games this week.

October 2nd- With nothing happening until the 12th there's little to report. Had Saints made it into the second round then we would have been drawn against Polish side Widewz Lodz - so at least we're not missing out on another glamour tie. No sign of any highlights of the Monaco match on TV yet with BBC having blanked Saints again.
As expected, there have already been a few Media Falsehoods thrown up from the TV and press coverage of the Monaco game. Still on our pals in the media, SKY have announced that they'll be showing the home match against Aberdeen on Nov 21st live - so it's another fixture change and another Saturday without football.
6.30pm - SPL games today saw TFOD win 3-2 at Dundee (scoring 2 in the last 10 minutes) and the Sheep getting a point at home to HIVBees in a 2-2 draw. As for Saints, their postponed match against the Arabs was scored as an away !! win by the Pools Panel - just shows what they know.

October 1st- Well last night's impossible dream didn't quite come true but a 3-3 draw against Monaco is a more than respectable result even if it does mean a 6-3 aggregate exit from the UEFA Cup. Goals from Miguel Simao, Nick Dasovic and John O'Neil saw Saints keep their unbeaten at home record in Europe intact.
Post-match it seems the usual case of plenty of plaudits but nothing won. Monaco coach Claude Puel said that "I don't want to take anything away from St Johnstone's quality. ... if St Johnstone keep that spirit they've shown tonight they will definitely be in Europe again. They lifted their game from what I have seen of them recently - they are a good side."
No further news on a move for John O'Neil with the Sheep boss missing the game last night. However, Southhampton, Middlesborough and Manchester City all had scouts in attendance to watch Danny Griffin.

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St. SandySeptember 30th- It looks like Simone might be out if he fails to train today. For Saints, Nat King Goals is again expected to partner the Messiah up front. St. Sandy (right) has pleaded with fans to be patient saying "Our fans have a big, big part to play. We need them to get right behind the team from the start and to be patient if things don’t happen as quickly as we would like. They have done really, really well in that regard so far this season and I am sure they will do so in this game as well. It is a question of balance-we need to attack but equally we can’t afford to be too cavalier as they have the quality of players to really punish us if we do. The chance to watch guys like (Ludovic) Giuly and (Marcelo) Gallardo is, in my opinion, worth the admission money on its own. Giuly is so quick and direct while Gallardo has the creative talent to hurt teams in any number of ways. We will have to shut them down, for if Monaco get the first goal it will be all over in terms of which team is going through to the next stage." . As for Baldy Barthez, according to Saints keeper Alan Main, the Frenchmans less than complimentary remarks about the rest of the Saints team have left them wanting revenge.
{short description of image}For the Frenchmen, coach Claude Puel is not taking any chances. "We always put out the strongest team available to us. We do not underestimate St Johnstone. The league table from last season shows they are not far behind Celtic, even Rangers, which we have to respect. Also we are well aware of the great passion with which Scottish football teams play. We expect that they will come straight at us from the kick-off and know that it is something we have to deal with if we are to be successful. I think this game will be good for my team. They are young and relatively inexperienced and I am very interested to see which players have the right attitude to cope with what is thrown at them.".
Finally congratulations to Danny Griffin who is in the N. Ireland U-21 squad for their trip to Finland this month. Just as long as he watches out for the local Ulrikkas.

September 29th- Latest word from the Saints camp is that Jim Weir trained today and should be fit for tomorrows match. For the French, rumour has it that Boi and Da Costa are both struggling to make the side.
No further word on the transfer front but a major rumour is that John O'Neil will sign for Aberdeen on Friday once the UEFA Cup match is over, in time to face the HIVBees on Saturday.
Finally, apologies for the lack of updates over the next few days but thanks to Mr Gates' crap operating system I'm having to make do on a bare bones of a PC whilst rebuilding all the apps.

Stuart McCluskeySeptember 28th- The injury worries have started ahead of the Monaco game. Jim Weir didn't train yesterday or today thanks to an ankle knock and is rated very doubtful for Thursday's game. Veteran Alan Kernaghan did manage an hour for the U-21s last night (who lost to TFOD) but it looks more than likely that Stuart McCluskey (right) will be the man to partner Danny Griffin in the centre of defence with an average age of below 22!!
Some good news though with George O'Boyle managing to play last night and now in contention for Thursday's line-up. Also Marco "Oor Wullie" Simone is apparently complaining of tiredness and seems set to chicken out of facing Saints this week.
Meanwhile the club have announced that tickets will be on sale until 2pm on Thursday. The North stand will be a cash gate with admission tagged at £11 and £5.
Finally congratulations to youth keeper Kevin Cuthbert who has been called up to the Scotland U-17 side for Friday's match against Denmark.

September 27th- With it being the Monday after playing TFOD, as usual there is little about Saints in the papers. John O'Neil took a knock on Saturday but is expected to be fit for Thursday. Whether or not he is still a Saints player depends on Ebbe Skovdhal and the rumoured Sheep £300,000 bid.

September 26th- Whilst the controversy over the Bread Queuers dive yesterday continues, Saints fans get a chance to make their own minds up about it tonight as Scotsport features the Death Star match as it's main highlights - gasp in awe as Erchie drools over Hendrys crap performance.
Transfer stories are in the paper again today - apparently Sheep boss Ebbe Skovdahl was at Ibrox yesterday watching John O'Neil ahead of the rumoured £300,000 bid. However, another transfer rumour has Hearts set to offer cash + Jose Quitongo for the midfielder.
11.00pm - Well so much for the delightful STV coverage - a token mention of Saints goal, patronising treatment of Nick Dasovic in the studio and only one Media Falsehood from Erchie. Still at least Derek Johnstone admitted it wasn't a penalty.
In France Thursdays opponents AS Monaco notched up a 3-0 win against Paris St. Germain in the French capital. Simone and Treesaregay are still in one piece as well unfortunately.

Miggy the HeaderSeptember 25th- Some more of the photos from Monaco are now on-line at the Monaco Diary.
In the papers there is little word on Saints team news, although Nat King Goals is expected to partner the Messiah up front. For TFOD, Wiggy is whingeing about all these Euro ties taking a toll on his supposedly best players, with reports suggesting that some of them may be rested today. Suits me.
7.30pm- Oh well the 28 year old record continues as Saints fall to a 3-1 defeat against TFOD with sub Miguel Simao (right) scoring Saints goal with a header !!! after the Hun Hun had got a double (the second being a penalty) before Mols clinched it 2 minutes from time. Overall it was a good Saints performance although controversy raged after the game over the penalty. St. Sandy said "I though it was a penalty at first but McQuillan and Main were raging. McQuillan says that Kanchelskis admitted to him he dived for the penalty". Other scores today saw 2-0 wins for the Jambos at Tannadice, TFOE at Easter Rd and Scumdee at Killie.
Looking ahead to Thursday and a quick plug for the charity raffle which for £1 could win you the signed match ball from the Saints v Monaco tie. Dickens Bar and County Sports are selling the tickets and all entrants get a voucher for 10% off in County Sports plus a 2 for 1 drinks voucher for Dickens. The draw will take place on 31st Octobee with all proceeds going to help childrens sport in the Perth area.

September 24th- Transfer rumours still dominate things with Aberdeen apparently set to line up a £300,000 bid for John O'Neil, with the Sun reporting that the Sheep are willing to meet the players demands of a £3500 per week wage packet. Meanwhile HIVBees have denied any interest in John McQuillan, although they were apparently considering an offer at the start of the season.
Elsewhere, Saints head to the Death Star tomorrow looking for their first win there since Wiggy Advocaat had hair. Nick Dasovic has trained all week and is included in the squad. But with Mondays U-21 match postponed, both Alan Kernaghan and Il Biscotti will miss out.
Congratulations to Kiegan Parker who has been called up to the Scotland U-17 squad for the match against Belgium and Denmark. Also on international duty is young SaintEmmanuel Panther who is included in the U-15 squad.
With the Monaco game tickets currently at the 7000 mark, the club have announced that the North Stand will be cash at the gate on Thursday night.

September 23rd- Well no sooner is the ink dry on the press release about the transfer list, than John McQuillan has been linked with a move to HIVBees in a deal worth around £100,000, whilst John O'Neil is already rumoured to be moving to Arabland / Aberdeen / Killie in a £300,000 deal.
Aside from the rumours there is little else to report - the players did a double training session today ahead of the TFOD trip on Saturday.

John McQuillanDel BoySeptember 22nd- Major transfer news for Saints tonight with the media reporting that the club have transfer listed first team regulars, right-back John McQuillan (or John McQuillam is you write for BBC Ceefax) and midfielder John O'Neil. Both players have refused to agree to the new offers of contracts beyond this season and with the Bosman ruling coming into effect at the end of the season, the club wish to cash in now. The club has stated that "both players will be considered first team regulars until they move on". Whilst the loss of McQuillan (a rumoured Hearts target in the summer) wouldn't be a major blow with plenty of defensive cover available, O'Neil is probably the best midfielder at the club currently and no doubt if he does move on Pa Broon will see fit to pick him for Scotland.
Having said that I back the club the whole way. The wage structure may not be the best in Scotland but no player is bigger than the club.

September 21st- The Temple version of the Monaco Diary is now on-line for everyone to have a laugh at and reminisce over. Around 6500 tickets have gone for the home leg and with Monaco only taking 100 of these it looks like a good Saints crowd next week.
Meanwhile, St. Sandy has praised the fans in today's P.A, for their support over the last week. "No praise would be high enough for our fans, who have been incredible over the last two matches. They spent a lot of money going to Monaco and their backing from start to finish was incredible. It was really appreciated by the players. And even when we went a goal down at Dens they continued to support the team. I know how much the game with Dundee means to them and it was great to reward their support with the victory our performance merited. The team gave 100% and I think supporters are happy when they see that's what they're getting from players".
Elsewhere, Forrest Gump is out for 4 months as his shoulder recovers from an operation. However, there was some good news with Alan Kernaghan due to play for the U-21s last night against Scumdee.

September 20th- Pictures from the match against Monaco are now on-line. Hopefully I'll add the off the pitch photos by tomorrow night. Meanwhile Monaco drew 2-2 with Metz last night - no reports of broken Simones though.
For Saints, the injured Forrest Gump is set to see a specialist today with an operation to pin his shoulder set for the end of the week.
Tonight's SPL match between Motherwell and the Jambos was abandoned at half-time due to a waterlogged pitch. Reports are still unconfirmed that it was due to "Mumble" Jeffries still drooling over the possibility of spending millions on Spanish teenage reject Banjo. Or something like that....

Main - praised by a Bald GitSeptember 19th- Well I only got back last night from France apologies for the lack of updates. The report on the defeat against Monaco game is now available. As for the exclusive stories from the trip, I met Paul Kane (below right), Gary Bollan and 'flu victim Nick Dasovic in the Monaco club shop on Friday and the players looked genuinely deflated with only Alan Main (right) looking pleased with himself albeit with good reason having been easily Saints best player and now having to deal with comments from Baldy Barthez that he is too good for the Perth boys. Well if that doesn't deserve us scoring 4 at McD in the return....
Paul Kane - DisappointedSpeaking to Kane he was disappointed most of all with the 3rd goal going in towards the end although like the rest of us he was to say the least impressed by the Monaco tax dodgers quality. A word of praise too for the fans as he said that the players got a really big lift from seeing the 1000 or so Saints fans cheering them on from the town square as they went past in the bus to the ground.
Hopefully I'll get the photos of the trip developed in the next couple of days and embarrass everyone on-line........
Anyway looking past the UEFA tie, today sees Saints head from Monte Carlo to the almost equally as delightful surroundings of Dens as we seek to make the Soap-Dodgers pay for what their Dodging cousins did to us on Thursday. One other fixture change is the postponement of the Oct 3rd match against the Arab Scum as the game has been postponed for the Scotland tie 2 days later - not that there will be any Saints players involved of course.
Set to miss out on this as well as the next 3 months of football is Forrest Gump who will have his shoulder operated on at end of the week.
Meanwhile there is transfer speculation surrounding the Legend as Ross County see him as the replacement for failed signing Mark Hately. With Roddy now something like 4th or 5th choice striker he may be set to move on although personally I can't see Dingwall holding enough attraction for him. The other Saints striker in the news saw on-loan Paddy Connolly score 2 penalties for Morton in their defeat against St. Mirren yesterday meaning he's scored more times in the last couple of weeks that Baldy Barthez has with his supermodel bird (unlike the Saints fans though).
7.30pm- A resounding performance saw Saints get a 2-1 win over Scumdee, and despite both goals coming in the last 10 minutes from Nat King Goals, it was an excellent all-round performance from the boys. Elsewhere Killie beat Hibs 3-0 at Easter Rd with the Ginger Hackers team booed off the park.
Finally, the Media Falsehoods page has been updated with the plethora of lies from the Monaco reports and commentaries - going by Thursday certain ex-Celtic and HIVBees players may soon have a category all to themselves.

Danny - set to step inSeptember 14th- Well, this will be the last set of updates until Saturday as I head off to join the 1,000+ Saints fans lapping up the sunshine in the South of France. Anyone heading to Chez Wayne, theres a 1998-dated WWW site at http://www.waynes.fr to give you an idea of what the place looks like.
On the park it looks like Forrest Gump will miss out with Danny Griffin (right) likely to step in. Better news up front with both the Messiah (who had been suffering from a groin strain) and Nat King Goals (flu victim) managing a full training session yesterday.
St. Sandy wasn't put off by Monaco's defeat on Sunday night. The French side lost both goals to own goals in their 2-1 defeat but key player Baldy "a la Rhodes" Barthez wasn't playing after picking up a strain playing for France last week. No doubt he'll make it on Thursday to be humiliated by Saints attack.
Anyway this is the last update for me until Saturday. It's Perth tonight then the 0625 Edinburgh-Gatwick flight tomorrow then the 1115 Gatwick-Nice and Euro glory. I'll be in Waynes tomorrow night and hopefully starting the biggest party ever for Saints fans. A reminder for anyone at home, Shrine of the Saintees are planning live UEFA updates on Thursday night.

September 13th- Courtesy of Scotsport last night we have another Media Falsehood - and wasn't it nice to see Archie Macpherson still worshipping any ex-TFOD player on the park.
Tickets for the home leg of the Monaco tie were sent out yesterday to season ticket holders (mine arrived at lunchtime). Meanwhile, our UEFA opponents lost 2-1 away to Rennes last night. Hopefully St. Sandy managed to spot some weaknesses in their set-up.
For Saints fans heading to Nice, it looks like Chez Wayne will be the favoured watering hole for Wednesday nights pre-match party. Check the Temple Guide to Nice & Monaco for more information. Weatherwise, it's 86 degrees there just now. There is a chance the game may be shown on Eurosport on Thursday night. It's definitely on live in France but that may not apply to the whole of the U.K.

Forrest Gump - In With A Chance?September 12th- Latest news on the Forrest Gump (right) is that the player is in with an outsie chance of at least making the bench on Thursday night. With 7 substitutes allowed, St. Sandy isn't ruling anything out.
For those Saints not able to make it to Millionaireville for Thursday, Shrine of the Saintees is planning to do live updates from the radio commentary.
...and for those of us heading to Nice this week, Paula has been good enough to do a quick translation of the French pub descriptions. Updated comments are at the Temple Guide to Nice & Monaco.
A quick reminder for anyone who is trying to remain hopeful and optimistic about our chances midweek - don't watch Scotsport tonight - the Motherwell game is the main highlights.

AS Monaco BadgeSeptember 11th- The new Temple Guide to Nice & Monaco is now on-line. Feel free to e-mail me with any additions - although do it before Monday otherwise I'll be en route to the South of France.
St. Sandy flies out tomorrow to for a spying trip on Monaco at their league match tomorrow night. No doubt we can rely on him to spot a weakness in their side.
For today's game it looks like we might have to come up with some more interesting chants since the Flying Turd has a hip problem and might not be in goal. Still Motherwell keepers have never really been a problem to us. Vouchers will be handed out at today's game allowing you to queue up for tickets for the home leg of the Monaco tie from 11am tomorrow.
7.00pm - Well despite the return to first-team action of Georgio, Saints still struggled to get a 1-1 draw with Motherwell. Even worse was the removal of Darren Dods in the first hald with what looks like the recurrence of his dislocated shoulder injury that forced him to miss the end of last season.
Looking forward to Monaco and Saints have decided to take the £100,000 on offer from French TV. The home leg of the tie will now kick-off at 5pm.

September 10th- Despite the minds of most fans being on the glamour trip to Monaco next week, tomorrow sees Saints try to repeat the 5-0 gubbing of Motherwell that marked the Fir Park side's baptism of manager Billy Davies. There is an outside chance of Georgio playing but apart from that the squad is likely to be unchanged from last week.
Meanwhile it emerges that our favourite chairman, Geoff Brown won't be buying the drinks in Monaco as he is set to miss the game to go on a cruise to the States booked last January. Recovering from heart surgery over the summer, he says that this time he'll "let his head rule his heart" despite having his wife's permission to go to Monaco. Still he won't miss out on the action with a transatlantic mobile phone set to be used to keep him up-to-date with Roddy's Birthday Party.

September 9th- Latest team news for this weekends visit of the Buckfast-quenchers is that long-term absentee George O'Boyle has declared himself fit. Whether or not he's rated good enough to get a place in the side with the 4 other strikers remains to be seen.
Having said all that, it looks like a worrying time for boss St. Sandy with two of his strike force "causing a wee bit of concern". Nathan Lowndes has been suffering from a dose of the flu, whilst Miguel Simao picked up a dead leg in training.
Meanwhile the return leg of the Monaco tie scheduled for the 30th may have a kick-off time of 5pm. French TV, unlike certain Scottish media organisations, is interested in showing the Saints game live and with the money the club can generate from selling the rights, a change to the earlier time is possible. Cue a rant from Leckie or Keevins about how the club are selling out the fans.
For the away leg, the club say that all tickets are being sent out by today from the 600 or so of the first allocation. A further 300 tickets are being allocated to Saints and these will be sent out by the weekend. More than 800 have already been confirmed and a delighted chief executive Stewart Duff said that "We’ll have an excellent travelling support, and it’s great to know the club are going to have such a big batch of fans at the game. The behaviour of our supporters at the last round away game in Vaasa was brilliant and we’re looking for more of the same in Monaco.". Whether or not that means a certain club chairman getting rat-arsed in an Irish bar we don't know.

We're off tae MonacoSeptember 8th- Well it's finally here (right), one of the precious 90FF tickets for the biggest game in Saints history, as the lads prepare to take on the spoilt millionaires of Monaco.
Elsewhere in Sainteeland, Kieran McAnespie played for an hour of the Scotland U-21 game against Estonia yesterday without getting on the scoresheet.

Father DougalSeptember 7th- Apologies for the lack of updates for the last few days but there's been little happening on the Saints front. Still yesterday saw the return to training of Father "Finnish Chat-Up Merchant" Dougal with a possible outing for the U-21s next week being seen as the next step on the recovery. Elsewhere George O'Boyle is continuing to make good progress but a thigh injury has prevented the Karaoke King from training.
Meanwhile congratulations to the Daily Record for pointing out that some Saints fans have bought all the tickets for the charter flight carrying the team to Monaco. As if that was the first time the club had done it. Arseholes.
With regards to the away leg, it looks like almost all of the 900 tickets Saints were allocated have gone. However, Stewart Duff is apparently trying to arrange for an additional allocation so it looks like 1000+ Saints fans will make the trip to France. Who knows, there might even be a wee pre-match drinkie a la O'Malleys. :-)

September 4th- In their infinite wisdom, BBC Scotland have picked the Kaiserlautern v Killie game to show live on the 16th. This means that probably the only way for Saints fans to see the Monaco game is to snap up one of the tickets and go there in person. Still at least it means the pundits will have to grovel to watch us in later rounds.
The club official trip is now sold out with around 100 fans snapping up places. However, the club may be able to arrange a second trip travelling on the Wednesday and returning after the game Thursday night. Priced around £425, if you're interested, phone the club on 01738 459090 by Monday afternoon. Kelvin Travel are apparently running a plane and bus to the game but despite reports to the contrary this does not include a match ticket which has to be bought from the club separately. The official trip sees fans based in Monaco itself in the Meridien Beach Plaza Hotel, which if there is an Irish bar nearby gives you an idea of where the party will be. For those of us heading to Nice, there are apparently several Irish bars in the centre of town which should make for good watering holes.

LegendSeptember 3rd- Not much to report with the club having a free weekend tomorrow. Letters have been sent out to all season ticket holders for the 2nd leg of the Monaco tie - voucher 30 and the cash to be returned to the club by September 10th to secure your normal seat.
Details have been announced of some of the events for the Roddy Grant (right) testimonial year. The long-serving hitman (who turns 33 on the day of the Monaco game), is having his testimonial sponsored by Stella Artois (not Embassy Regal as we all suspected).September 25th at Perth City Hall sees an Off The Ball Roadshow with Tam "Pie-Muncher" Cowan and Stuart "Vaasa Disco King" Cosgrove on stage. Theres also a golf day, a boxing night and a high-profile match to come to allow Perth fans to show their appreciation.

September 2nd- A couple of new links for all the Saintees. Firstly our favourite Monaco fan, rolf has an excellent Dutch/English website dedicated to Monaco with some great information on how to get to the stadium and their impressions of Saints - it's to be found at http://huizen.nhkanaal.nl/~monaco/.
Next up, Saints fans can download the free nostalgia videos from the new Dickens Pub website. A new video every week with the first one now available showing the Chosen Ones 1969 2-0 win over TFOD.
With Saints not playing this weekend, you can still watch the U-18s take on TFOD at Jeanfield Swifts Simpson Park, this Saturday at 11.30. Admission prices are £2 / £1. One interesting new youth signing is a certain Euan Hall (14), the son of the great Henry.
The papers report that Saints could be set to sign the trialist from Mondays U-21 match. 32-yr old left-sided midfielder Manuel Guinares is an ex-Benfica player and Portuguese internationalist available under the Bosman ruling. Expect a decision soon on this one.
More on the Monaco front. The Official Saints Site has details of the clubs package to the game featuring flights from Edinburgh to Nice, 2 nights in a 4* hotel in Monaco and match ticket for £475.

GeorgioSeptember 1st- Firstly, apologies for the lack of updates for the last couple of days but I've been out of town. Anyway the main news concerns a certain match a fortnight tomorrow. The Prince Rainiers Works XI game is definitely scheduled for the 16th with a 8.30pm kick-off local time (thats 7.30 in the UK). Saints have requested 900 tickets for the match priced £10 and they're available on a first come, first served basis from the club via postal applications only (and it's a different form from the Vaasa game!!!). There will be an official trip going and details will be announced tomorrow. So far, it looks like most fans will be based in Nice from the 15th onwards (well I will anyway). No-one is sure if the game will be all-ticket but according to rolf, a Monaco fan who has been in touch with the list, there is a possibility that tickets will be on sale over there. Prince Rainiers Works XI won 3-0 on Sunday night. Still they weren't up against classy opposition like Aberdeen.
For the return leg on Sept 30th, the club have decided to peg prices at SPL levels for the game. Tickets will go on sale to season ticket holders first, with a letter in the post tonight containing a tear off slip, to allow them to retain their usual seat for the game. After that voucher holders (who will get one at the Motherwell game on the 11th) can get a ticket then the general public. Whilst not totally happy about seeing season ticket holders excluded the club have at least got a decent solution to allow us to sit in the same seats.
On the park, the club fielded a 32-yr old Portuguese left-sided midfielder in Monday night's U-21 3-1 defeat against the Sheep but he was crap so won't be followed up on. George O'Boyle (right) played the full 90 minutes. The striker has also pulled out of the N. Ireland international squad for this weekend and St. Sandy is hoping to arrange a bounce match for this Saturday to help the returning players regain match fitness.

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August 30th - Little news today - the club have slapped a gag on players talking about the UEFA tie and the media are obsessed with Aberdeen In Crisis headlines. A call to McD today found out that the club haven't even confirmed the match date for the Monaco game, despite the French side quoting the 16th. Never mind the ticket situation.

August 29th - A Sunday afternoon stroll saw Saints Gub Aberdeen 3-0 as the Dons put up a sorry display. Kevin "Messiah" Thomas, Jim Weir and Nat King Goals got on the scoresheet with their goals helping Saints to move to 4th in the league.
Elsewhere in the media, theres a report that John McQuillan is stalling about a new contract deal with his current one due to end at the end of this season.

Paddy ThingyAugust 28th - Little team news ahead of tomorrows SPL match. Saints have added Kevin "Messiah" Thomas to the squad. Meanwhile, one player set to possibly move out is out-of-favour striker Paddy Thingy (right)who is heading to Morton for a 1 month loan deal which the Greenock club hope to make permanent.
Europe still dominates though and with the bookies quoting Saints at 150/1 to win the Cup interest is hitting an all-time high. Atholl Henderson is flying out tonight to see Monaco play tomorrow. For Saints fans the official Monaco site can be found at http://www.asm-foot.mc/, although the site is a tad slow. Tourist info for the South of France can be found at http://www.monaco.mc/index.html to give you a chance to practice the posing early.
Finally theres a few more action photos from the Away and Home legs of the Vaasa games.
5.30pm - SPL results today saw the HIVBees lose 1-0 at home to TFOD whilst Scumdee got a 2-0 win at Motherwell. In the First Division, Paddy Thingy scored one of Mortons goals in their 2-2 draw at Livingston.

August 27th - The draw for the first round of the UEFA Cup is set to take place at 1.30 BST in Monaco. The 96 teams will be seeded based on their countries coefficient. This means we won't meet another Scottish team. It's a complicated process but should only take 30 minutes. The draw is live on Eurosport but can be seen on the WWW at http://www.uefa.com.
8.00pm - Well after the groupings saw Saints unseeded we've got one of the big guns in the 1st round of the UEFA Cup. Saints will be away to AS Monaco in the first leg scheduled for Sept 16th, with the return to McD a fortnight later. It might be the end of the tournament for Saints (as no doubt OAP Keevins will predict) but its a helluva place for a party.

Cap'n JimAugust 26th - Ahead of tonight's big UEFA tie, St. Sandy has warned Saints to "expect the unexpected" from Vaasa. "Our approach to the game will be exactly the same as any other game, exactly the same as it was against Hibs on Saturday. We're gonna try and be sensible, try to defend sensibly and try and score goals. We appreciate that on paper we are technically a goal up but if we lose a goal it's like we're technically gonna be a goal down so I think we're gonna have to forget the first game and try and win this match. I think it's one where the coach of Vaasa has got to decide what he's going to do - they obviously have to get a goal so I would expect them to try and have a go at some point. I wouldn't expect it from the first minute but hopefully we're ready for the unexpected". Jim Weir said "...as the gaffer has stressed, there are shocks in every cup competition and this club has suffered not over the last few years but also in years gone by. We are hoping this won't be another one. It's in our own hands and if we can perform as we did in the first half against Hibs on Saturday and in the second half against Kilmarnock, I think that would be enough to see us through. Anything less and we can only cause ourselves problems.".
In terms of team news, the paper says that Georgio and Paddy Thingy both trained yesterday but are unlikely to feature tonight. For Vaasa reports state that a couple of Vaasa players are down with the flu, one of them being goalscorer Auntie Paula, whilst they will have a new keeper, Swede Bjorn Stringheim between the posts.
Midnight - Well Saints are int he first round proper courtesy of a Miguel Simao double as the sub led Saints to a 2-0 win over VPS Vaasa who lost their keeper early in the second-half. And for the benefit of certain senile journalists there were around 9500 Saintees in McDiarmid tonight.

August 25th - Not much Saints news in the papers today with the main media spotlight ahead of tomorrows match falling on VPS goalscorer Auntie Paula who reckons the Finns will win tomorrow night.
Stewart Duff and fellow director Dougie McIntyre are being lined up to fly to Monaco on Friday for the draw for the next round, assuming Saints get through. On the field, both Miguel Simao and Kieran McAnespie trained yesterday and will be fit for the game. Meanwhile, Guy Impou has returned south after probably the shortest trial period for Saints. The club aren't planning to sign him.

EusebioAugust 24th - Saints went down 2-1 in the U-21 league last night thanks to a last minute goal from Yogi Hughes. Still the game did see Miguel Simao (right)get a goal (although he limped off with 10 minutes to go) and the debut of French trialist striker Guy Impou who is over for a week's trial.
Other Saints action on Sunday saw a Roddy Grant captained Saints select run out 6-2 winners at Luncarty to celebrate the Perthshire junior clubs new ground. Allan Preston featured in the game but in the great Saints tradition, he aggravated a hamstring and will be out for a while yet. Also on the injury front, Alan "I'm Great" Kernaghan will see a specialist tomorrow to check on his injury - a further op may be required which could rule him out for another 8 weeks. It just get's better doesn't it.
The UEFA build-up has started (everywhere except the Scottish media who all seem to be in Parma), with the news that VPS top scorer, striker Ville Priha looks set to miss out with a hamstring strain. Meanwhile Saints have their own worries with Kieran McAnespie suffering from a back injury. Failure to make the team could mean the outside chance of long-term injury victim George O'Boyle occupying a seat on the bench.

August 23rd - Little of any interest in the papers with only the Daily Record's contributions to the 1999 Media Falsehoods to be updated. Theres also confirmation in today's Courier that an Austrian and Frenchman are on trial at the club this week.

August 22nd - Not too much to report on the aftermath of the HIVBees match. Paper reports say that Gary Bollan was being watched by Pa Broon yesterday with the Saints defender a possible replacement for the suspended Callum Davison in the forthcoming UEFA qualifiers.
Elsewhere Hugh "Senile Wanker" Keevins continues his one-man crusade to annoy Saints fans with todays column in the Hunday Mason having a go at Saints attendances - Writing "St.Johnstone will hand out 7,000 medals to supporters to mark their return to Europe on Thursday night after a long absence of 28 long years. It would be nice to think that there might not be enough to go around. But I have a feeling that won't be the case. If supply far exceeds demand you'd have to wonder what the player's effort was for" is rather ironic when he considers that the players were flops last season and the distinct less than capacity crowds which featured in the OF qualifiers. Arse.
8.00pm - The draw for the 4th round of the CIS Challenge Coca-Cola Skol Bells League Cup was made today. Saints have been drawn at home to the Unwashed Whores of Judas Land (sometimes known as Dundee Utd). The tie will be played on either the 12th or 13th of October.
Meanwhile tonight's SPL match saw a McSwegan hat-trick get a 3-0 victory for the Gorgie Gits over the Sheep, with Nigel Pepper red-carded for the Aberdeen side. In Finland VPS Vaasa continued their winning streak with a 2-1 victory over FC Lahti.

August 21st - A woeful refereeing performance saw Saints draw 1-1 with HIVBees with Ginger Bomber scoring for Saints for the third game in a row. Kevin Thomas had a quiet debut coming off the bench for the last 20 minutes or so.
It looks like the striker search continues as well with St. Sandy saying pre-match that a French striker will be over for a trial next week.

Kevin ThomasAugust 20th - Saints have announced an increase in profits of 58% with the pre-tax figure coming in at £844,000.
The e-Retard reports that we've tabled a £150,000 bid for Kevin Thomas (right) but Morton are wanting double that. Personally I can't see how he's worth even the Saints figure never mind £300,000.
6.00pm - ....which just shows what I know with Thomas signing in a £150,000 deal this afternoon. The players goes into the squad for tomorrow's Hibs game. The signing seems to signal the end of Saints interest in Ludwing Ernstsson with the Swede apparently a month away from fitness ruling out any UEFA action even if Saints signed him.
Elsewhere on the injury front, Il Biscotti looks close to a return following a full 90 minutes for the U-21s last Monday (Pope and Nosey getting Saints goals in a 2-1 win). George O'Boyle resumed full training yesterday, earlier than expected with a double session although Father "nice girls those Finnish lasses" Dougal seems set to be a while from returning to first team action.

August 19th - Ludwing Ernstsson's trial in Perth still dominates the Saints coverage in the media. Behind the times as always, the e-Retard reports that the "6ft 4in" striker may cost Saints £400,000. Saying that the player would "jump at a second chance to move to Scotland" the paper goes on "Ernstsson was targeted by Reading last season - but they baulked at the asking price. The player said: "Reading came to watch me during a league game and then contacted my club about my availability. But Austria Vienna said they wanted pounds 400,000 and Reading asked if that was for the whole team! Nothing happened then so I don't know what my future will be." . He scored 4 goals in 22 starts - not an impressive rate but apparently he wasn't being played in an out-and-out striker role.
Looking ahead to Saturday's clash with the HIVBees, the Edinburgh club look set to spend £400,000 on signing Grant Brebner from Reading. It won't help them though.

August 18th- Confirmation in the papers today that Ludwing Ernstsson will be flying in next week for a trial at McDiarmid. The player, who was looked at 3 weeks ago would have arrived earlier but has been suffering from a hamstring strain. If Saints want to sign him then they'll need to move fairly quickly as the UEFA signing deadline is August 31st.
On the subject of Europe, the club have announced that 7,000 commemorative badges have been ordered to be given to fans attending next Thursday's return match against Vaasa. This along with the 36 page special programme is designed to celebrate Saints first home match in Europe for 28 years.
The VPS-Vaasa players are due in Perth next Tuesday afternoon after a complicated journey involving flights from Vaasa-Stockholm-Manchester, then a bus trip North. There is still no word no how many fans can be expected to accompany them but hopefully they'll find a warm welcome in Perth.

SupersubAugust 17th- No sooner do our strikers start banging in the goals than it looks like a possible end in store for the Striker Search. Today's Sun reports that Mr X from Sweden (who has now been named as Austria Vienna striker Ludwing Ernstsson (right)) will fly in this week for talks (hopefully without worrying about quarantine regulations or his mothers love for Dundee cake). The Swede is available at a "knock-down price" and was subject of a rumour last year (see 1998-99 prospects when at Kongsvinger in Norway and rated at £500,000).
More good news last night with the Saints U-21 side getting off to a good start in the defence of their title with a 2-1 win at Rugby Park.

August 15th- Right then, the official Temple account of Two Days in Vaasa is now there for anyone to read. Anyone wants copies of the photos let me know.
Latest striker news is that Saints have confirmed an interest in Mr X the Swedish striker that Billy Kirkwood saw last weekend. No news on who he is or that but we think hes Henpriks best mate.
Yet another Saints site is on line - click here for Lammy's Saints Site
7.00pm Update - A cracking second-half performance from Saints saw them run out 2-0 winners over Killie with Ginger Bomber and Gary Bollan getting the goals to lift us off the foot of the table. But with two chalked off for offside and Saints missing a barrowload it could have been a lot more. Other SPL scores saw TFOD gub Well 4-1 and the Arabs surprise 2-1 winners over TFOE.
Saints have announced that the return UEFA Cup tie will not be all-ticket and a special programme priced £2 will be on sale for the game. Meanwhile it looks like last week's referee Mike McCurry will report TFOE to the authorities after it was revealed that Alan Main was hit by a missile in the second-half. The missile? A training shoe !!! Christ the bigots aren't even imaginative.

Pope set to returnAugust 14th- Team news for tomorrows Killie match is that Pope only had flu after all and is set to return to action. Meanwhile the e-Retard has Saints linked with a possible move for Kevin Thomas of Morton. The ex-Jambo has been a target of Saints in the past and the paper seems to believe he could be in Perth for tomorrow's game. Speaking of the situation, St. Sandy said "We need a striker and I know the fans are fed-up hearing me say it. You just have to look at the chances missed against Vaasa to see the problem. We're seriously looking at a couple of players and hopefully something will happen sooner rather than later."
Congratulations to Sporting Life for the latest Media Falsehood.
5.30pm - SPL results today see the HIVBees and Jambos draw 1-1 whilst Scumdee got a 2-0 win over the Sheep who are still bottom of the league.

SupersubAugust 13th- Finally back from Vaasa and before anything else a big public thanks to the citizens and fans of Vaasa for an excellent non-stop party. Of course with such wonderful off the pitch times the boys had to go and spoil it by only scraping a 1-1 draw with VPS Vaasa thanks to a goal from the Supersub Ginger Bomber.
As for the rest of the last few days I'll put something on the site tomorrow (once I figure out which incriminating photos to scan in). Meantime today's papers report the Vaasa town officials as saying that "Wednesday night was the best party night the town has ever had".
Looking ahead to Sunday's match and tonsillitis victim Pope could miss out. In terms of transfer rumours the only juicy piece of gossip I heard was that an unnamed Portuguese striker is coming over in 3 weeks to McD for a week's trial.

Paul the Veteran KaneAugust 10th- For anyone missing out on the trip to Vaasa, BBC Radio Scotland will have live commentary of the game on Thursday night t 5pm on 810m MW.
Today's Sun reports that Saints face a "hostile" crowd in Finland with VPS Vaasa apparently getting their supporters behind them for the UEFA Cup match. Currently the game is looking like being a sell-out with around 5,000 fans set to turn up on Thursday night which should make for a great atmosphere.
Looking ahead to the game and the P.A. Sports Pages have an abundance of quotes. "Veteran" midfielder Paul Kane (right)is looking for Saints to kick-start their season saying "Europe is a big, big stage and we've a great chance to put St Johnstone's name on the map. Get through this one and there's no saying how big a club we could pull in the next round".
VPS had a scout watching Saints on Saturday and he has labelled us favourited to progress to the next round. Lars Mosander, the Finnish U-16 coach said "[Saints] midfield players and tricky striker Miguel Simao could cause problems this week. They are obviously a team which likes to pass the ball, although they didn't get much chance against Celtic on Saturday.
Latest on the injury front is that despite a delay getting a passport (typical), Legend will still need to pass a fitness test before taking the field on Thursday. Here's hoping !!
Finally - more details of the club official video of last season and an order form are available on theOfficial Saints Site . Videos will be shipped out from this Friday and will be on sale on Sunday in the Ormond stand souvenir shop.
This will be the last Temple News update until Friday afternoon - I head to Perth tonight for the 7am bus pick-up at McDiarmid tomorrow and the start of hopefully a long run in Europe - FORZA SAINTEES

VPS-VaasaAugust 9th- Little to report in the media with the aftermath of the Celtic defeat seeing the papers concentrate on TFOE. Looking ahead to Thursday and VPS Vaasa star striker Roy Essandoh is quoted as saying " I think we are looking at trying to preserve our pride rather than making the next round." - hopefully St. Sandy and the boys will ignore this and concentrate on humping the Finns, who lost 1-0 at home to HJK last night.
Team news sees Alan Kernaghan, George O'Boyle and Paddy Thingy all still injured and ruled out of making the journey, although Legend andGerry the Karaoke King will be fit enough, whilst Jim Weir, who suffered a groin strain on Saturday will also make the trip.
Billy Kirkwood's absence from Parkhead has been explained - he was in Sweden over the weekend checking out a possible striker signing target. Finally for those of us who are starting to forget what a winning Saints side is like, the official video of last season will go on sale this week priced £12.99 plus £2 for postage and packing. More details at the Official Saints Site

August 8th- News of the World reports that a £300,000 fee for Danny Griffin has been agreed with Charlton with a deal expected to be concluded in the next few days. However Ceefax reports that Danny is travelling to Finland after the trial "failed to spark a transfer".
Meanwhile St. Sandy is hoping that a good result midweek can kick-start the season. Speaking to Ceefax, he said "We've had problems to date, but I know how to fix them". Something we're no doubt all very glad to hear.
Tonight's SPL match saw Scumdee lose 4-3 at home to the HIVBees. Dirk Lehmann scored again.

August 7th- Well the bad start to the season continues with a spineless 3-0 defeat to Celtic leaving Saints languishing in 9th with only the Sheep between us and the bottom. Post-match St. Sandy commented that he wants to "spend money sooner rather than later". As if anyone wants to come to play for that mob that were on the park today. Personally, I'm starting to worry about the Vaasa game now - the nice wee jaunt against a poor Finnish team is starting to have the look of a St**h**s**uir about it.
And if anyone's interester, courtesy of the TFOE match programme I've finally updated the Gods page with the squad numbers for this season.

August 6th- No more team news for tomorrows trip to the Evil Empire. Jim Weir is urging the Saints players to "put last week's result behind us.".
Danny Griffin and George O'Boyle have both been called up to the N Ireland U-21 and full international squads respectively. On the transfer front, the Great Striker Search goes on. St. Sandy has decided against pursuing Nigel Jemson with the focus moving to Sweden in the search for the elusive scorer.

Paddy ThingyGeorgioLegendAugust 5th- Danny Griffin is back in Scotland with no decision made as to whether or not Charlton will do a deal.
Meanwhile the myth of Saints being the lowest payers in the SPL was shown up today with the publication of the finance report. Saints were 2nd in the profit league with a profit of £1.5m on a turnover of £4.5m. We also had the 5th largest wage bill at around £2.5m (more than the Arabs, Well etc), despite having the lowest average attendances of 6700. Whilst there has been a lot of criticism aimed at the club this week. credit where credits due. Given the attendance figures, Saints must, in financial terms, be the best run club in Scotland. All we need is a striker !!
And we need one by the weekend going by the injury list at McD. So far, George O'Boyle (middle), Roddy Grant (right)(an ankle injury picked up in training), Paddy Connolly (far right)(unspecified but it gives you an idea of how bad things are) and Alan Kernaghan are all set to miss out which means that Nathan Lowndes will hopefully be on from the start.
Looking ahead to next Thursday, St. Sandy has ruled out the bad pitch excuse saying that he was "happy with both the playing surface and the facilities".

August 4th- Latest word on Danny Griffin according to teletext is that he is on an "extended trial at Charlton with a view to a permanent transfer". No mention of any fee or how long the trial will last but it looks likely he'll miss out on the Celtic match at the weekend and possibly Vaasa.
Meanwhile another Transfer Rumour doing the rounds involves a swap deal with the Pars with Jim Weir heading to the Kingdom in an exchange for Andy Tod. The Andy Smith rumour apparently fell through due to the players wage demands (£6000a week and he still can't afford the nose job?).
The storm over the match programme continues with All Saints having their say on C4 Teletext Page 165.

Danny GriffinAugust 3rd- Alan Main and Nick Dasovic have had their new contracts confirmed with both players "happy to remain at the club". Still no word on what's happening with Danny Griffin (right), but it looks like his sale will pay for the new contracts. Not an ideal time to lose one of our best players.
Anyone else travelling on the official flight to Vaasa, don't expect a match ticket in the post - apparently they're all being held by the travel company until we're on our flight. That's almost a sensible idea. Meanwhile our opponents lost 3-1 at home to Jokerit last night, a result which sees them relegated from their division.
Tickets have gone on sale today for this weekend's Celtic match.

August 2nd- Little to report - we looked worse than ever on TV last night. Still St. Sandy can escape the criticism - he's off to Finland tonight to size up Vaasa. And there is plenty of criticism going round the Saints mailing list. Both All Saints and Blue Heaven have similar editorials to the one below. Just what the club needs this week....NOT!
The Idols page has been updated with details of this years youth signings - Ross Forsyth, Darren Kearney, Martin Fotheringham, Chris Conway and Barry Thomson.
8.00pm - Latest contract rumours has it that Alan Main and Nick Dasovic will sign new4 and 3 year contracts respectively this week. Well after the performances on Saturday it's unlikely anyone would want to sign either of the pair. Worse news for Saints fans is the that Danny Griffin is set to play for Charlton Athletic tomorrow night in a friendly against Welling United according to the English Division One club's official WWW site.

August 1st- It's not often that I feel the need to add any form of editorial comment to the news pages - usually the normal sarcasm is sufficient. In fact until last month I've only felt the need to do this twice - after the F**k**k debacle and when Judas left. However, in the last month we've had the shambles of a UEFA ticket sale. That, in retrospect, can possibly be put down to the club being on unfamiliar ground (although certain aspects mean that if it's repeated then it's just down to incompetence).
Yesterday though, in the match programme "View from the East Stand", carried an article, presumably approved by the club which did nothing more than insult the Saints mailing list and the various unofficial websites. Personally, such criticism doesn't bother me too much but when it's aimed at people who VFES describes as "demented e-mailers" writing "juvenile dross", who are then later presumed to be in the younger age category someone needs to speak up. If the article has been approved by the club, then they can have little complaint when they see the fans of "the age who cruise the 'net" turning their backs on the club.
One further thing which annoyed me. The VFES goes on to look at the unofficial websites saying that "some are well put together, some are not - and that's putting it kindly". Given that every single one of these websites is put together by fans who will not make any profit from the venture, these sort of comments do nothing to help the "community" feeling that supporting Saints should generate. In fact all they will do is fire up the anger of the on-line Saints fans and at a time when the club needs all the good publicity it can get to increase the support, this will do it's image no good whatsoever.

In case anyone still feels so depressed after yesterday there's always the new Off The Ball Website.
8.30pm -Small piece of comfort. With TFOE beating Aberdeen 5-0 tonight we're now just 9th in the league. Oh joy.

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July 31st - First some sad news as the entertainment value in the Daily Record on a Saturday is set to be greatly reduced in future with the announcement today of Alex "Sexy Liz McColgan" Cameron's retirement after 438 years of covering every Scottish sport. Still with the delights of last night's Sportscene fresh in the mind it's good to see banal OF-toadying journalism lives on.
Saints 1 Hearts 4 was the final result although we should have conceded more in a second 45 minutes which rivalled the F**k**k game for inept performances. Post-match all St. Sandy would say was "We discussed certain things in the dressing room and that will remain between the players, myself and the four walls.". Whether or not he discussed buying striker we don't know. Anyway the result continues a rotten run of opening day performances and leaves Saints bottom of the league.
I'm too depressed to even be chuffed that the Daily Mail voted the Temple the "best unofficial Saints site". It still doesn't get us a striker.

July 30th - Team news for tomorrow's SPL opener sees both Father Dougal and Georgio set to miss out. Saints have been quoted at 150-1 to win the title. The Gorgie Gits look set to have Dive-Dive Jackson and McSwegan up front although one time Saints target Gary Wales may also play. Remember to turn up early and see the presentation of the award to Saints by the Perth Council to commemorate their achievements last season.
St. Sandy is quoted in the media saying "I believe that we are coming to the boil at the right time for everyone has been working really hard in training. Some of the young lads in particular have done well but to be honest I am happy with the way the whole squad are going. Saturday’s game will be hard for we have watched Hearts three times and they are getting there themselves. With respect to them it is going to be more about what we do ourselves and I believe we can do enough to start with a victory.".
The club has announced that tickets for the Vaasa match will be sent out at the start of next week.

July 29th - Due to Saints 2nd leg in the UEFA Cup being played on Thursday 26th August, the SPL match scheduled for the Saturday has been put back. It now means we all get to make the trip to Sheepland on Sunday 29th instead.

July 28th - Calm before the storm time just now. I've updated the Airdrie match report though.

July 27th - The final pre-season friendly saw Saints lose 3-2 to Airdrie, although only a fringe side was expected to be playing. Saints goals came from John O'Neil and LEGEND.

July 26th - Not too much happening. Weekend trialist Nigel Jemson has flown off to try his luck in Portugal, although a move to Saints hasn't been ruled out by the player. Hopefully it will have been ruled out by St. Sandy, after a pretty average performance on Saturday.
Atholl Henderson has returned from watching VPS Vaasa play in a 2-0 defeat to Haka as Saints' UEFA rivals lack of form continues.
Congratulations to Scotsman with some classic reporting on the Fulham game which allowed them to break their duck in this seasons Media Falsehoods.

July 24th - Saints had a lazy afternoon in the sun with a 1-1 draw with Fulham to show for it, although the game was there for the winning. Trialist Nigel Jemson played for the second 45 minutes but failed to impress much.

VaasaJuly 23rd - Saints have announced that they have been allocated 250 tickets for the Vaasa game next month. With around 200 applications received so far for either the official trip or else ticket only, all existing applications will be honoured. After that though, it'll be first come first served. Whilst the tickets aren't in their possession yet, expect to see more information on this next week. VPS Vaasa are set to play TFOD's opponents and league leaders Haka this weekend as they seek their first win in 14 games. Atholl Henderson is taking in that game, whilst St. Sandy is heading out to watch their match against Jokerit a week on Monday.
Perth and Kinross District Council have announced that they will make a presentation to Saints prior to the opening League clash next week to mark the club's achievements next season. No doubt they'll then go off and moan about the football team and refuse to back it for another year. For tomorrow's game friendly against Harrods, only Alan Kernaghan and John O'Neil look set to miss out, the latter due to the family bereavement, whilst a groin injury has kept our favourite C4 TV star out (although a 2nd op shouldn't be necessary). Saints could be set to play Nigel Jemson, a 6ft striker and free agent. The ex-U21 England striker has bought out his contract at Bury, although at 30 years old we can't think of him as a long-term buy.

LEGENDJuly 22nd - John O'Neil has been missing lately due to a family bereavement.
Meanwhile rumours are starting to surface of the testimonial for the man they call LEGEND. Apparently September 4th is the date to book when Everton are rumoured to be coming to town. Also set to line up are ex-Saints Ally the Teletubby and Paul "BinBag" Wright. Nothing is official yet but let's hope for a big night for Saints favourite son.
If anyone wants to send me a match report from the Airdrie game next week I'll add it to the WWW site - looks like I'll miss this one out (quarantine regulations etc.).

July 21st - Saints continued their pre-season build up with a 3-1 win at East Stirling with, for a change some strikers scoring including a 20-yard effort from MoM Nathan Lowndes. Another friendly against Airdrie has been set up for next Tuesday night.
Meanwhile on the injury front, Roddy Grant, Gerry McMahon and Allan Preston have all resumed training although Alan Kernaghan seems set to miss the start of the season. The BIG question though, is where the hell is John O'Neil. After the Irish tour the midfielder has been conspicuous by his absence from the Livingston tournament, tonight's game and more worryingly the official Team photo (which should be on the Temple Front Page tomorrow).

July 20th - Tomorrow's pre-season friendly against East Stirling has been confirmed as set to be played at Firs Park, not Shitville, with a 7.30 kick-off. Not much else in the news. The club want fans who are requesting Euro tickets to get their applications in by the end of the week so they can gauge demand. Meanwhile, St. Sandy is quoted in today's P.A. as "actively pursuing another player and I'm hopeful something can be done before the start of the season" - which to the rest of us means don't get your hopes up.

July 19th - Nothing much happening today. St. Sandy is quoted in the papers as saying that he "was happy to finish 3rd over the weekend. The main thing was that all the first team players got a run out and that's the most important thing for this part of the season. I'm fully confident that we'll be ready for the league kick-off". Meanwhile injured trio Keith O'Halloran, Roddy Grant andGerry McMahon are set to see an English specialist today with the expectation being they'll be given the all-clear to resume training.
Looking ahead to Saturday's pre-season friendly with Fulham and the London club today signed Stan Collymore on a 3-month loand.

July 18th - Saints manged to finish 3rd in the Livingston tournament after a 1-0 win over Partick Thistle with Jim Weir getting the winner in the first half. There wasn't much else to get excited about though.

GeorgioJuly 17th- Prices for today's Livingston tournament have been set at £10 for adults and £5 for kids. This gets you a 2-day pass to Almondvale - pretty good value really.
Well it seemed like it until you saw the poor Saints performance. Despite a Gary Bollan (right) late equaliser Saints lost on penalties to Wigan, meaning the delights of a 12.30 kick-off against Partick for 3rd place tomorrow.

July 16th- No real news on the team front. St. Sandy has said that he is taking "two teams" to the Livingston tournament this weekend with the intention that all the first team squad players will get a run out. Saints are set to face Wigan Athletic tomorrow at 3pm and then either the 3rd place play-off or the final on Sunday, against the hosts or Partick Thistle (currently managed by "Voodoo Curse" Lambie - a man we all love).
Congratulations to new signing Martin Lauchlan who has finally been given a nickname by the Saints internet mailing list - Frankie-Boy (see the players page for details of it's origin.
On the Euro-front, it seems that the clubs ticket allocation for the Vaasa game has now been cut to 210. Obviously the official trip will get first priority on the tickets leaving just over a hundred for the other supporters. SNAFU time!!!

July 15th- The 1-1 draw with Shamrock Rovers report is now on-line, courtesy of the Courier (and since I'm being generous we'll let them off with the spelling mistakes this time. It still makes shocking reading despite the fact that new signing Martin Lauchlan scored his debut goal. Given that the starting line-up featured Ginger Bomber, Miguel Simao and George O'Boyle you'd have expected some more goals. Oh well.
On the transfer front the media are still linking us with a move for Gary Wales, although at this moment in time the Gorgie Gits seem a better bet for his signature.
Saints have announce that the Fulham game a week on Saturday will cost £10 for adults and £5 for kids. Only the East and West Stands will be open but season tickets are valid.
Right, now it's confession time. After seeing the ticket application forms yesterday (which involve specifying flight numbers and accomodation details), and putting loyalty to the team before any principles (i.e. being ripped off for a 48-hr trip), I'm afraid that I've signed up for the official package to Vaasa. Yup I know it's costing me a fortune (no post-match kebabs for a month) but at least I can now relax knowing that I am guaranteed a ticket and I'll be there. Besides there's always the added advantage of chucking journalists out over the North Sea as we fly out. I still stand by what I said the other day but I'd rather be ripped off than take any chance on missing the match.

July 13th- Courtesy of the Courier, there's now a match report on the Bray result, although I took the liberty of correcting the spelling mistakes (and updating the Media Falsehoods as well).
On to more important things and the club have announced that there will be 300 (or rather approximately 300) tickets for the Vaasa match. Given that 100 of these will be reserved for the fans travelling in the "official" package (which costs £575 if anyone's interested), it only means 200 for the rest of us. With their usual customer-oriented attitude the club have decreed that these will be issued on a "first-come, first served" basis to postal applicants only. And to get on the postal list you need to leave your name and address at the club. Having said that it might have been a nice idea to tell the girls in the Saints ticket office that a list was underway - for some of us it took 2 or 3 attempts before this was sorted.
Of course given that the game is 4 weeks on Friday, sorting out postal applications for tickets means that a lot of travelling fans will either
a - leave it to the last minute before booking any travel thus running the risk of having a ticket but no way of getting to the game
b - Book their travel (eg Kelvin Travel are hoping to get deposits by the weekend) which means they run the risk of being in Finland without a ticket.
Either way it is another example of a total fuck-up off the park by the club. If they were planning to get 300 tickets why not allow for 300 fans travelling in officially sanctioned packages - the club gets the benefit of knowing that the fans are treated reasonably well and it takes a lot of the hassle and risk away from organising the trip. Even so, if the proposed rumours are true and the tickets are by postal application it is a real snub towards those of us who bothered to pay up front for a season ticket this year - what happened to "preference for away game match tickets". It looks to me more like the club is trying to ensure that their 100 official places (at £120 more than Kelvin were charging for one night less) are covered before dealing with the remaining fans. Well I think it stinks.
Right rant over, the one possible piece of good news is that there is a likelihood of more tickets becoming available in the near future. Just don't get your hopes up.
Elsewhere the Hearts game on the 31st has been made all-ticket with the Gorgie Gits getting 3000 briefs - not that they'll all turn up. Still at least the club have decided that us poor East Stand season ticket holders don't need to move to the West Stand this time.

July 12th- Saints pre-season lack of goals continues to cause problems with Bray Wanderers 0 Saints 0 the final score in the 2nd match of the pre-season tour of Ireland.

GeorgioJuly 11th- The match report from the St Pat's defeat is now on-line courtesy of the Sunday Mail. One good point from the match for Saints fans was the return of George O'Boyle (right) to first-team action. Unfortunately the goalscoring problem continues. According to Simon McKell who was at the game, John Paul McBride was the best player on the park. In addition some of the revisons to the first team squad numbers are starting to appear. I've updated the Heroes Page with the details.
Congratulations to the News of the World for the media falsehood in the Saints report. Nice to see some things never change.
Elsewhere in Scottish football the News of the World has a front page story about how Scotland boss Pa Broon is apparently a bigot. Well I could have told them that - he's been biased against non-OF players for long enough. Saints match against Wigan Athletic next Saturday has a 3pm kick-off. More details later in the week.

July 10th- Not the best of starts for Saints "glorious" season as they boys lost 2-0 to St. Pat's Athletic in Ireland tonight. No word on the teams or how the performance was but from the scoreline I think it wasn't too great. Most of us will get a chance to see the lads in action next weekend at Almondvale in the Motorola tournament. Saints are set to play Wigan Athletic on the Saturday (Livvy v Partick being the other match), with the 3rd place play-off and final set for the Sunday.

Aggie the Movie StarJuly 9th- On the transfer front, St. Sandy has denied making any moves for Gary Wales. Another rumour quashed then.
Meanwhile Saints have announced some details of the official package for the VPS Vaasa game. According to the Official Saints Site , Saints are chartering a 170-seater aircraft. Approximately 100 places will be available for supporters at £500 each. The flight leaves Edinburgh on August 11th and returns after the match arriving 2am on the Friday. One night's accomodation in Vaasa (b+b) is included along with all taxes, transfers and a match ticket.
Elsewhere Kelvin Travel (01738 444345) are also arranging to charter a 159-seater plane. For £459 the package includes daytime flights on the Wednesday and Friday and 2 nights accomodation in the Radisson SAS hotel in Vaasa. However the price doesn't include a match ticket, which apparently will have to be obtained via the club. Currently no-one seems to know how many tickets will be made allocated to Saints fans but it seems a safe bet that there will be sufficient for the 2 planeloads. When I checked this morning around 70 places on the flight had already been taken. I've already provisionally booked my seat - assuming the club doesn't totally f**k up the ticket distribution.
Finally the CULT HEROINE of McD, Aggie Moffat (right), has according to today's P.A. turned down a role in the new Robert Duvall fitba' film. Obviously the thought of being in the same room as Teletubby McCoist outweighed any stardom !!!

July 8th- No movement on the transfer front. Apparently Saints are interested in Gary Wales. Barry Lavety of course is another matter and given his, shall we say, relationship with Saints fans (who can forget Dino's battle last time we played in the league), a rumoured move to Blackpool might suit him better.

July 7th- Plenty of transfer rumours doing the rounds. HIVBees have put Barry Lavety on the transfer list sparking speculation in the Sun that Saints will make a bid. Also Gary Wales of Hamilton Accies, who turned down a move to Saints last season has apparently put in a transfer request. Whether St. Sandy will still want to make a move remains to be seen.

RoddyJuly 6th- Saints are preparing for their trip to Ireland at the weekend with striker Roddy Grant set to make the trip. However set to miss out are Allan Preston, Jim Weir, Alan Kernaghan and Kieran McAnespie who are all still on the treatment table.
Meanwhile, Saints hope to announce details of the package for the trip to Finland in the next few days.

John O'NeillJuly 4th- The contract row between several of the start Saints players and the club is in the papers again today. Speaking in the Sunday Mail, John O'Neil, the 1999 TOSSA Player of the Year is quoted as saying that ""It would be a shame if a lot of players were allowed to leave. I feel we can build on the achievements of last season. But players have to get a fair deal and if it that doesn't happen a parting of ways is usually on the cards. My agent John Viola has had one meeting with the club and we are a good bit apart. I just hope it gets resolved because I want to stay here but the offer will need to be improved.". Saints have several of their first team regulars out of contract in the summer and it looks like the club may have to break the "poorest wages in the SPL" tradition to hang on to them. Having said all that 99% of the support would much rather see the club on a sound financial footing than risk doing a Raith Rovers.

July 3rd- The bookies have announced their odds for the upcoming SPL title. Saints are a decent 66-1 for the title outright or else 4-1 to win if you exclude the Old Firm from the title.
Elsewhere the Scottish League have announced changes to the fixture dates for the League Cup. I've added them to the 1999-2000 Fixture List. Remember that Saints won't make an appearance until the 3rd round due to some other Cup competition we're apparently involved in (I think it involves Europe somewhere).
The 1999 TOSSA Results are now available.

July 2nd- Latest from the Saints pre-season training sessions is that all members of the first team squad have begun training. However due to their ops at the end of last season, Allan Preston, Alan Kernaghan, Roddy Grant and Gerry McMahon have only had light training sessions. Star striker Miguel Simao is currently sporting a nasty bleach job of a hairstyle but according to the PA will shave it off before the official team photoshoot next week. It seems highly unlikely that we'll see any new faces before then.
Tayside Juniors Young Player Of The Year Ross Gunnion is joining Saints for pre-season training. The full-back who plays for Bankfoot is attracting the interest of several local clubs but has opted for a trial with Saints. Meanwhile, midfielder Nick Dasovic will miss the pre-season Ireland tour due to international commitments with Canada who are scheduled to play Saudi Arabia in the USA next week.
As for Europe, the club hope to have details of the official package sorted for the middle of next week.

St. SandyJuly 1st- Not much to report. From the media today it looks like VPS Vaasa aren't unbeatable. Currently 2nd bottom of the league the part-timers yesterday sacked their manager. St. Sandy (right) has said that "We plan to watch VPS at least a couple of times before the tie".
No official word yet on the arrangements for the travelling fans. It seems likely that Saints will get 3-500 tickets for the match at the 4300-capacity ground. The club have brought in a specialised travel company to arrange everything for both the team and supporters. The unnamed firm which also handles the Man Utd and Newcastle Euro ties is likely to charge at least £400 per head for the game. Vaasa had tried to get the fixture dates switched to allow them the home advantage in the 2nd leg but Geoff Brown told them it was not an option.
As a result of the UEFA match Saints home match with Killie has been put back to Sunday August 15th.

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VPS VaasaJune 30th- Saints have been drawn against Finnish side VPS Vaasa in the UEFA Cup. First leg will be played in Finland in Vaasa's 4300 seater stadium on August 12th with the return at McDiarmid on August 26th. VPS are currently 2nd bottom of the Finnish league (P12 W3 D1 L8). Just think of them as the St**h**s**uir of Finnish fitba. For information on the city itself check out the Vaasa Tourist Site.
St. Sandy commented on the draw saying "I'm just glad we've avoided the East European sides. The players are looking forward to the tie and we'll be sure to have VPS Vaasa checked out beforehand".
On the normal day-to-day side of things, the Saints squad were due to return to the slog of pre-season training today. Looking ahead, the first fixture change to accomodate the delights of Sky TV has been made. Surprisingly enough we're playing a part of the OF Bigot mob with the home SPL fixture against Celtic scheduled for Oct 23rd now set for Oct 24th. Kick-off time is probably still to be determined to allow the OF hooligans to prepare their "traditional" singing.

{short description of image}June 29th- OK then time to start getting excited about the UEFA Cup Draw. Participants and their "geographical groupings" are all on the UEFA WWW Site at http://www.uefa.com/UEFACUP/index_frame.asp?Filename=/NewsData/UEFACUP/News/indexp.asp?News=2338. Saints are in Group 3 and are one of the 4 seeded teams, meaning we'll be up against some unseeded opposition. The opponents will come from the following :

The full draw is schedueled to be screened on a webcast by UEFA at 12 noon on June 30th. Geoff Brown and director Gus Stewart have flown to Geneva to attend the draw in person.

June 26th- Well the silly season is starting with some more Media Falsehoods courtesy of Scottish journalisms finest.
One-time Saints signing target, Portuguese striker Quim Ferraz looks set to go to Arabland this week. Cue headlines like Luggy signs another twat!!

June 25th- Well as usual little happens when I'm on holiday. The full 1999-2000 Fixture List is now up to date with the SPL games. Only 5 weeks to go !!

June 16th- The incredibly boring month of June continues. Geoff Brown is interviewed in some papers today pleading for more Saints fans to turn out next season as the UEFA campaign looms. UEFA meanwhile have decided to allow the Yugoslav teams to participate in this seasons Euro tournaments with the exception of UEFA Cup qualifiers FK Obilic who will be disqualified due to the virtue of having a war criminal as their club president (think Angus Cook with a gun).
In honour of the crap he now writes in the Sun, I've decided to award Bill Leckie (the man with the dodgy quiff and a fetish about Barbour jackets) his own wee spot in the 1999-2000 Media Falsehoods. All suggestions to the usual address.
Still plenty of time to send your entry in for the 1999 TOSSA'S with voting set to close at the end of the month.

June 11th- Another boring day in the close season. Still at least the 1999-2000 Season Tickets have arrived.

June 10th- Partick Thistle have completed the line-up at the Livingston Tournament in July. They join Saints, Livingston and Wigan Athletic.

St. SandySt. SandyJune 9th- Still little news to report. Saints management team of St. Sandy (right) and Billy Kirkwood (far right) are currently living it up in Brondby as part of their UEFA Coaching Certificate.

{short description of image}June 8th- With Saints enjoying a close season break it's time for a first look at the UEFA Cup. The UEFA WWW Site lists the latest qualifiers for the UEFA competitions. In Saints case, the list of possible opponents in the draw for the 3rd Qualifying Round at the end of the month includes Grasshoppers, Anderlecht, Levski Sofia, CSKA Sofia, Lokomotiv Moscow, Hadjuk Split, Lyngby, Bruges, Steaua Bucharest, Dynamo Bucharest, Nicosia, Inter Cardiff, Cwmbran Town, Portadown, Linfield, Bray Wanderers, Cork City, Helsinki, Hapoel Tel-Aviv, Maccabi Tel-Aviv, IFK Gothenborg, Helsingborg and plenty of others whose location I can only guess at. There are also two others to be selected from the Fair Play league one of whom could be Leicester City (complete with Diddy Elliot).

June 5th- Fairly quiet day in the media. The Daily Record has a two-line quote from club captain Jim Weir saying how he is committed to staying at the club for the remaining 2 years of his current contract.
Saints have announced that an official video will be released over the summer of the 1998-99 season.
Meanwhile the Aggie Moffat Tribute Page has appeared on the net with loads of info on Scottish Footballs favourite tea-lady.

The new stripJune 4th- First of the season Transfer Rumours today, with the Daily Mail linking John McQuillan with a £250,000 move to Hearts. The defender, who still has a year of his existing contract to run seems unlikely to move to one of the lesser SPL teams. Meanwhile Alex "Ginger Git" McLeish is blaming St. Sandy for leaking the Dirk Lehmann signing to the media with stories that the HIVbees are paying the ex-Fulham player £5,000 per week. As if anyone wants to listen to a carrot-top.
Stuart McCluskey (right) is pictured wearing the new all-yellow fluorescent Saints 3rd strip. All the kit details are Sacred Robes Page.

June 3rd- Dirk Lehmann has elected to sign for the HIVBees as opposed to St.Sandy's Euro-Crusaders. Obviously the thought of outdoing Barry Lavatorys hairstyle was too good a chance to pass up.
Meanwhile off the park Saints have signed another 1 year deal with Hydro Electric as shirt sponsors. The club also plan to bring out a new 3rd strip in bright yellow. Just like Brazil !!!

June 2nd- UEFA have confirmed that June 30th is the date for the draw for the qualifying round of the UEFA Cup (as in Europe- Kiss the Badge!!). Saints are due back to begin pre-season training on the same day.

June 1st- Although the voting in the 1999 TOSSA'S is still ongoing, some of the other lists for the 1998-1999 season are over.
Scotsport romped the Media Falsehoods title.
John Rowbotham won the Referee Ratings whilst Stuart "Saintee Hater" Dougal was the most consistent - as in consistently bad.
Also coming to an end are the 1998-99 Prospects List with Dirk Lehmann the only outstanding signing still to be resolved.

Meanwhile the 1999-2000 competitions are open for Media Falsehoods, Signing Prospects and Referee Ratings.

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May 30th- Nice quiet day in the papers with (for a change), no mention of Saints being linked to anyone at all. Of course the Wegie Media are too obsessed with self-congratulation after only one death and minimal arrests at the OF Final. And they wonder why the rest of Scotland doesn't reall care?
Never mind, it's time for the important stuff with the launch of the 1999 TEMPLE OF SAINTS SURVEY AWARDS. Was their anyone worse than Thomas Andersen amongst this years mortals? Do we really think Keevins is the worst pundit? Will Steve Harker be as depressed as last year? Go here to vote (or else just e-mail this tossa99.txt text file to webmaster@grange.demon.co.uk

May 29th- Latest contract news from St. Sandy speaking on the radio is that Dirk Lehmann (German porn star) will make a decision next week once he has talked things over with his wife. The Saints boss rates the Porn Star as a "15 to 20 goals a season man".
Meanwhile, it's congratulations to Danny Griffin who came off the bench against the Republic of Ireland to score a 30-yard goal to snatch a 1-0 win for Northern Ireland in Belfast today.

Brendan CrozierKeiganMay 28th- Latest on Dirk Lehmann (German porn star) is that a decision is expected on Monday. As well as Hibs and Ipswich, Wolves and Preston are also interested in the player.
Kiegan Parker (right)and right sided forward Brendan Crozier ( far right) who played a major part in the Saints domination of the SPL U-21 league last season, have both been rewarded with full-time contracts with the club. The 16-yr olds have signed deals to keep them at McDiarmid until 2002. Meanwhile, Kieran McAnespie has has to withdraw from the Scotland U-21 team with an Achilles injury picked up in training.
One ex-Saint in the news today is striker Kevin Twaddle who has joined Motherwell for £150,000.

Dirk Lehman - German Porn StarMay 27th- Right the hangovers are clearing and it's time to get back to some sort of normal service. Top story today is that Saints have made a definite offer to ex-Fulham striker Dirk Lehmann (German porn star) (right) hoping that the atmosphere on Sunday and the lure of UEFA football might tempt the German to Perth. However reports today say that Hibs and Ipswich Town have also had talks with the 6-foot player. He has promised a decision by the weekend.

May 25th- With the 1998-99 season just over, St. Sandy has already begun to make plans for the Euro campaign. Dirk Lehmann (German porn star) the 27-yr old German striker from Fulham was at McD for the glorious victory last Sunday and was reportedly impressed by the club and the atmosphere generated by the record crowd. Whether or not the sights of a Saints team on the piss afterwards will convince him to sign however remains to be seen. St. Sandy said of the player (a £30,000 signing for Fulham last season but available under Bosman) "It's common knowledge that we're looking for a target man and we've had our eye on Lehmann for some time. I'm hopeful of getting something tied up soon".
Conflicting rumours on the UEFA draw with both June 30 and July 7 mentioned as the days we get to find out what currency to pick up in August for the Euro Tour.
Danny Griffin has been called up to the full N. Ireland squad for a charity friendly this weekend as well as the U-21s in a couple of weeks.
Ex-Saints youth star Callum Davidson seems set to move from relegated Blackburn Rovers in a £3 million move to Premiership stars Arsenal - which makes it about a 170% rise in his valuation in just over a year.

St. Sandy CelebratesMay 24th- Oh my head. Nice to see the Media Falsehoods are building already with Channel 5 first to cock it up last night.
Latest WWW site to keep an eye on now is UEFA - cos we're going to Europe.
4.00pm- Well what a surprise as Saints have suddenly turned into the media darlings in the papers today although Greetin' Gordon Smiff still manages to devote most of his column to Killie. Even Charlie 'Gary Glitters Lovechild' Prickolas manages some praise for Saints. Of course none of that stopped Napoleon getting the Scottish Football Writers Manager of the Year Award last night. Call me a cynic but I wonder if any of this sudden admiration has something to do with possible media junkets abroad next season as the boys head for Europe?

We're On Our WayMay 23rd- Passport-Packing Saints 1 Broughty-Ferry Bound Scum 0 - means that Saints are on their way to Europe for their first time in 28 years as Kille only managed a draw at Ibrox. It means we all need a document like the one on the right by the start of August. A Paul Kane header in the 70th minute sealed victory for Saints, in a pretty boring match in front of a capacity crowd at McD.
Adding to the party atmosphere was the half-time presentation to Marc McCulloch of the U-21 championship trophy. All in all a great day for Saints.
One possible cloud on the horizon though is the strong rumour in Perth of a £600,000 move to Tannadice for Alan Main. If it happens I can think of one keeper who is making a big mistake.

May 22nd- Little real news in the papers today with TFOD's "Wiggy" Advocaat promising that TFOD will play their best team tomorrow. So no worries about Amato at centre-half then.
One really funny story though - apparently the Sun's Bill Leckie got the 1999 Sports Journalist of the Year Award. Obviously for his knowledgable reporting.

May 21st- Saints are rumoured to be on £30,000 a man to qualify for the UEFA cup with Geoff Brown fulfilling his promise made at the start of the season. However the chairman will miss the match himself as he sits in the Florida sunshine.
Gates are set to open at 11.30 on Sunday and the club are urging fans to turn up early for the pre-match entertainment and party atmosphere. Scumdee will be restricted to the North Stand only. It has also been confirmed that Saints U-21 captain Marc McCulloch will get the SPL U-21 championship trophy presented to him at half-time by SPL cheif executive Roger Mitchell and celeb Saintee and Radio Scotland presenterStuart "Fashion Icon" Cosgrove. Off the Ball itself is coming live from McD on Sunday.
On the park, Saints are expected to field the same team as last weekend after Nathan Lowndes, Stuart McCluskey and Kieran McAnespie all came through knocks. John Paul McBride has also been added to the squad. Scumdee have said that they will field their strongest team "in an effort to be fair to Killie". Aye right.
Alan Main has been included in the Scotland squad for the Euro 2000 matches next month. No doubt he won't get a game though.

May 19th- Media rumours abound with the Soap-dodgers as managed by the Hilltoon Whore rumoured to be set to move for Alan Main at the end of the season. Judas has denied the story but we all know how good his word is.
The U-21s finished their campaign with a 1-1 draw with TFOD. Saints goal came courtesy of Paddy Thingy. The team are set to be presented with the U-21 trophy at half-time on Sunday with the club hopeful that fashion icon Stuart Cosgrove will do the honours.

Martin LauchlanMay 18th- As rumoured, St. Sandy has splashed the cash with £45,000 going to Partick Thistle in exchange for Martin Lauchlan (right). The 18-yr old winger-cum-striker has signed a 4 year contract with Saints and despite missing out on action this weekend has already been tasked with keeping elder brother Jim (as in Killie thug) awake on Sat night to aid Saints progress in Europe. Despite the small fee for the Scotland youth international, it could rise to £150,000 based on the number of appearances he makes for Gods Chosen Ones.

May 17th- Lots of transfer rumours today with a report in the Daily Record linking Saints with moves for Martin Lauchlan of Partick and Kenny Brannigan and Craig Taggart of Clydebank. Only the first seems to have any real substance to it with Saints reported to be on the verge of completing a £150,000 deal for the 18-yr old wingers signature.
Elsewhere the tabloids reports of the Killie match all seem to centre on the Teletubby McCoist who for the benefit of those who didn't make the match didn't actually play and merely sat near the pressbox. Nice to see these sports reporters with their minds on the match. The soap-dodging Coagies will be restricted to 2000 seats (ie the North Stand only) on Sunday.

May 16th- Saints have been linked in today's Sunday Mail with a £60,000 bid for 22-yr old striker Gordon Connelly of York City.
Highlights of yesterday's Killie match are on Scotsport tonight at 10.45 - keep an eye out for the countless Media Falsehoods that are bound to crop up. Saints fan Stuart Cosgrove is also on the programme as a pundit.

BlasterMay 15th- Well the UEFA dream is set to go to the wire after a battling second-half performance saw Saints draw 1-1 with Killie, with Gary Bollan getting the goal in a cracking match played to a capacity crowd.St. Sandy said he was "disappointed with the result because I felt that we deserved all 3 points". Credit to the Saints travelling masses who made the journey in their thousands and easily outsang the home support.
The result means that Saints HAVE to win at home to the Scumdee next week and providing that Killie don't beat TFOD at Ibrox then Saints will get 3rd spot. However reports on Radio Scotland suggested that if Killie finish 3rd and can also qualify in the Fair Play League, then it will be the decision of the SFA as to who gets the remaining slot.
Saints have announced that prices for next weeks climax to the season will be £5 for all areas of the ground.

Ginger BomberMay 14th- Not much in the way of team news yet ahead of tomorrow's match. St. Sandy says that confidence is high at the club. "We have hung in there on Killie's coat tails and we are more than capable of completing the job. In terms of the team, Ginger Bomber (right)is set to return to the forward line. Defensively however, both Darren Dods and Jim Weir are set to miss out with the latter needing a cartilage op. Stuart Malcolm could be in line for his debut appearance on the bench with Danny Griffin and Stuart McCluskey set to team up in the centre of defence.
Off the park midfielder Paul Kane could be set to give up his U-18 coaching duties at the club in a "bid to prolong my playing career". Also today's Sun has linked St. Sandy with a possible summer move for Airdrie midfielder Marvyn Wilson, a player he nurtured whilst in charge of the youth set-up at GorgieGitland.
Congratulations to the Saints U-21 side who finally clinched their championship midweek with a Kiegan Parker goal getting the points from TFOE. The boys will get their trophy next Sunday at the final home match of the season.

May 13th- Congratulations to Kieran McAnespie who has been called up to the Scotland U-21 side for the 3-team tournament at the end of this month.

May 11th- Admission for the Killie match will be £5 only for all fans - hopefully the gesture by Killie will see plenty of Saints making the journey. Admission is pay at the turnstile only. In addition Saints are laying on free buses for the trip. The SPL have appointed Kenny Clark from Paisley as the ref.
Meanwhile the end of next season will see the bottom club in the SPL in a 3-way play-off for the two extra places in the 2000-2001 season as the SPL goes to 12 teams, against the 2nd and 3rd teams from the First Division.
Elsewhere, ex-Saints player Paul Hegarty has been sacked as manager of the Sheep.

May 10th- Darren Dods has officially joined the Saints injury list and is set to be out for 10-12 weeks with his shoulder injury.

Darren DodsMay 8th- Saints had most of the possession and pressure but ended up with a 0-0 draw against Motherwell after hitting the woodwork twice and finding the Flying Turd in form. More worrying was the first half substitution of Jim Weir with a knee injury and the late removal of fellow central defender Darren Dods with what looked like a nasty shoulder injury. Still the was some bright spots with Kiegan Parker (squad no 31) making his debut from the bench late on.
Elsewhere in the SPL, the Pars need miracles to stay up after losing to Sellik with the Wegie team having Marko the Prozac Prince sent off for spitting - seems to be a common trait amongst the Wegies these days. In the other UEFA match, Killie could only get a goalless draw at Tannadice which means that next weeks clash at Rugby Park will be THE big match in the SPL.
11.00pm - Darren Dods has a dislocated shoulder - no word yet on whether or not he'll be available for next weekends match.

Brendan CrozierKeiganMay 7th- Plenty to get through today. The bad team news for Saints ahead of tomorrow's home tie with the Pseudo-Wegie Dole-Fiddlers is that both Legend and Allan Preston are out for the rest of the season with hernia problems. That's 6 on the hernia op list now.
With the Ginger Bomber suspended again for one match, St. Sandy is set to gamble on some of the U-21 title-winning side with two 16-yr olds added to the squad in striker Kiegan Parker (right)and right sided forward Brendan Crozier ( far right), both of whom have been enjoying a run in the U-21s. "They both deserve their chance and they'd have figured in the squad before the end of the season even without these latest injuries to hit us. They are progressing well and they aren't listed just to pad out a squad. They are in on merit" said the Saints boss. Tomorrow's match will be officiated by Ian Fyfe from Linlithgow - first I've ever heard of him as well.
Season Ticket Information is now available for the 1999-2000 season with the good news being a freeze in prices for existing holders. However with the new SPL rules, your season will only admit you to the first home tie of any cup competition. Speaking in today's P.A. chairman Geoff Brown said "Now, let's hope the players can round off the season by qualifying for Europe. And I suspect some fans will even be cheering on Paul Sturrock and Dundee United for the first time this weekend, hoping they can do us a turn against Kilmarnock!" - dontcha just love the sincerity?
Saints Official WWW Site was launched today with club news, an online shop and community info. There is also a forum for fans to leave messages although this is subject to the editorial whims of the club - no doubt to spare us from a Daily Record expose when the Wegies realise that no-one outside the OF is really a bigot.
Meanwhile another unofficial site, THE EAST STAND has also started up - though there's not too much there yet.

May 6th- Little news in todays papers. One-time prospective Saintee, Clydebanks Davie Nicholls has according to the Sun signed for Falkirk.

Dirk PornstarMay 5th- Still not too much to report in the papers as the Scottish media decides to be all moralistic about the evil of the OF that they help maintain the image of.
The Sun does mention that St. Sandy is set to sign German striker Dirk Lehmann (pictured right) from Fulham. Apparently the player, available as a free agent has already had talks with Saints. Slightly more worrying is his popularity with the Fulham fans who nicknamed him "Dirk Lehmann - German porn star!" because "he looks like one!". Shades of dodgy soap-dodging keepers spring to mind. Anyway the latest info can be found on the 1998-99 Prospects Page.

LegendMay 3rd- Little to report today except that UEFA have confirmed that last night's attempts by the OF to damage the reputation of Scottish football in Europe even more haven't worked with the authorities refusing to count the Wegie War towards the Fair Play rankings. We still live in hope though that the SFA and SPL will consider a ban on TFOE and TFOD from Europe - at least that way the fans will still have a good reputation.
Tonight's SPL match saw the Gorgie Gits beat the Pars 2-0 which means that Petries Hackers look set for the drop. Meanwhile the BIG match with Brechin saw a Roddy Grant (right)header give Saints a 1-0 win to secure the Forfarshire Cup. Kiegan Parker also had a good game in the second-half and looks a strong contender to feature for the first team before the end of the season.

May 2nd- As expected there is little to be happy about in today's papers other than the senile rants of Hugh Keevins who is finally realising that St. Sandy doesn't take his lies seriously.
Meanwhile the SPL title is going to TFOD following a total bloodbath at Parkhead tonight. No doubt we'll get the same crap from the media and fans tomorrow as they put it all aside until the cup final.

May 1st- An absolutely dire performance saw Saints lose 1-0 to Aberdeen. Speaking post-match, St. Sandy praised the travelling fans and apologised for the performance saying "As it was I don't think replacing any of the players would have made any difference today. We were poor but Aberdeen were just as bad".
Elsewhere in the SPL there was some cheery news as Killie lost again, 1-0 at home to Motherwell and look set to lost Teletubby McCoist for the rest of the season through injury. In Scumdee, the Arabs lost at home again to Scumdee to put themselves deep into the relegation mire.

Top Of News


St. SandyApril 30th- Midfielder and scorer of last week's winning goal Keith O'Halloran has signed a new 1-year contract with the club. Also signed for a further year is Northern Ireland teenager Daryn Smith. The manager has said that there will be no frees from the first team squad for the summer. St. Sandy (flashing the legs and SPL award), meanwhile has also started planning the pre-season training for Saints knowing that the first Euro match would be on August 10. Nothing like being confident then.
The SPL have announced that Bobby Orr is to referee tomorrows match at Pittodrie with Saints looking to whitewash the sheep by taking 12 points out of 12 for the season. Nathan Lowndes is eligible to play ahead of his next ban next Saturday but faces a fitness test after possible tonsilitis. John Paul McBride has been added to the squad. Alan Main is looking for a 4th successive shutout.
Saints play Brechin on Monday night at McD in the Forfarshire Cup Final with a 7.30pm kick-off. Season tickets are valid, else its a £4/£2 admission charge.

St. SandyApril 29th- St. Sandy received the SPL Manager of the Month Award for April today - hopefully an indication that he's on for Manager of the Year next.

Nick the RockstarApril 28th- Plenty of Saints in action yesterday on the domestic and international front. Saints U-21s are reported to have won 2-1 against Sellik to keep their pole position in the SPL U-21 league. Henprik Larsson is featured in the "exclusive" in today's Daily Record with the "revelation" that he had spat at Saints fans. The article also mentions the season ticket holder who contacted the paper yesterday with the real facts.
On the international scene, Kieran McAnespie played the 2nd half as sub for the Scotland U-21 team in their 2-1 defeat in Germany. Meanwhile Nick Dasovic (right) (who St. Sandy feels needs a rest) played alongside ex-Saint David Xausa for Canada in their 1-1 draw with Northern Ireland.

JesusApril 27th- Henprick "Goldilocks" Larsson has been given a mere slap on the wrists by the SPL after being booked after the match on Saturday for "making an unsportsmanlike gesture" to the Saints fans when leaving the pitch. The Swedish git was reported by a policeman who witnessed the incident to the match officials who then booked the player in the tunnel. No further action is planned against the diver but from Saints fans who saw what happened the "gesture" seemed to be accompanied by some flying Scandinavian phlegm from Larsson at the home fans.
Meanwhile Pa Broon has offended Saints fans even further by reports in the paper today which say that Neil "Cockney" Sullivan is to play for the full 90 minutes against Germany in Bremen on Thursday. Nothing like a slap in the face for Scotlands best keeper Alan Main (right)
In Perth, the first team squad is in for double training sessions with St. Sandy this week, except for Alan Kernaghan who was due to undergo a hernia op today.

April 26th- Miracles abound today with the newpapers full of praise for Saints. However with the withdrawal of McCann from the Scotland squad leaving the gap open for a talented right-sided midfielder John O'Neil will still find himself sitting in Scotland on Thursday night as Colin Cameron is drafted into the squad.

April 24th- More news on the Irish pre-season tour with Saints set to play St. Pats on July 9th and Shamrock Rovers on July 14th with a further game likely to be pencilled in yet.
Next season's mid-season break is to be extended to 4 weeks starting after the Boxing Day fixtures. This means of course that there will be no New Year fixture list for the SPL which for those of us set to work fixing Y2000 bug problems is a blessing in disguise.
6.30 - A well-organised Saints defence proved that the previous results over TFOE weren't flukes as Saints ran out 1-0 winners over Sellik to shut the Wegie media up. Personally I hope they go on to totally screw up the championship, especially after seeing one of their "sporting" fans post-match who decided to be extremely obnoxious to my wife. Still he'd be better of with his Bhoys club. Anyway, the match is on Sportscene tonight at 10.40
Meanwhile results elsewhere also went our way with Scumdee coming in for rare praise thanks to their 2-1 win over Killie which means Saints are now only one point behind the Ayrshire side.
Slightly more depressing is the news that Alan Kernaghan could be out for the rest of the season with his groin injury.

Donald Signs UpApril 23rd- UEFA have ruled that the 3rd place team in the SPL will get the remaining UEFA slot. However with the possibility of a 4th slot to the winners of the Fair Play award it means that we have the ridiculous possibility of Saints ending up with nothing whilst Aberdeen who lie behind Killie and the Old Firm in the Fair Play rankings qualify for Europe. Bloody disgraceful.
Off the park, Saints have appointed Donald Mackay to the newly-created post of Chief Scout. The ex-Dundee and Blackburn manager, will be first expected to help the management identify the 3 players which Geoff Brown believes the club needs to strengthen the squad for next season. He was previously one of the scouts at Arsenal reporting to Arsene Wenger so the move has to be seen as an ambitious one by Saints.
On the park, Saints are expected to be minus Alan Kernaghan, Popeand John McQuillan through injury with Nathan Lowndes suspended. It could mean a starting slot for Roddy Grant. The match itself is heading for a sell-out, though no doubt the presence of Wegielands favourite journalist, Hugh Keevins will mean at least one non-paying attendee. Still, with the Saints fans in the West Stand we can all make our feelings known.

April 22nd- Nathan Lowndes has been fined by the club with St. Sandy commenting that he was more disappointed than the first booking than the actual red card offence. Meanwhile Saints have been linked with a possible move for Clydebank midfielder Davie Nicholls.
On the UEFA front some total bollocks in the media with supposedly "unbiased" SPL cheif executive Roger Mitchell coming out and saying that he would rather see Killie in Europe than the winners of a Saints/Arabs play-off since the Ayrshire side "would have a better chance of advancing in Europe and improving the Scottish co-efficient". No doubt their wonderful performances against lower Division opposition in the Cup tournaments this season helped to influence his opinion - or is it just cos they have some ex-TFOD scum?
Saints have announced pre-season friendlies for the summer. They'll go to the Republic of Ireland for a few days where they'll play three games. Next up is four team Livingston tournament on July 17-18, and on Saturday, July 24, are at home to Kevin Keegan's Fulham with a 2.30 kick-off.

April 21st- Latest news on Alan Kernaghan is that the defender, who missed last nights victory at the Tannadice swamp is suffering from a "serious" groin injury according to St. Sandy. The Irishman seems set to miss out on the Sellik match this weekend.
One good thing to come out of last night's match was the abundance of Media Falsehoods - just how bad can BBC Scotland get?
Congratulations to ex-Saintee Phizzy Scott who scored his first goal for Sheffield Wednesday in their draw against Newcastle tonight. No doubt he'll be in the Scotland squad now he's no longer a Saints player.

Danny BoyApril 20th- Alan Main is set to play tonight after completing a full days' training yesterday. Darren Dods is Saints only doubt but is expected to make the match.
Meanwhile the SPL and SKY have now decreed that the final fixtures are to be played on Sunday May 23rd with a new kick-off time of 12.30pm - no doubt giving us plenty of beer time to celebrate clinching Europe.
11.00 A gutsy Saints performance at a dreich drenched Tannadice saw Luggys Losers crash 1-0 to St Sandys Sexy Saintees with Danny Griffin (right) scoring the winner with a free kick after 40 minutes. The result was slightly tampered by a red card for the Ginger Bomber at the start of the second-half. Still at least the match managed to finish despite torrential rain which had flooded the away dressing room beforehand forcing Saints to change in the gym !!! The result means we're now only 4 points behind Killie.

April 19th- Congratulations to Kieran McAnespie and Alan Main who have been called up to the Scotland U-21 and full squads for the Germany match next week, although there is still no word on the Saints keepers injury. No place for John O'Neil though with Pa Broons theory of picking Premiership players or ex-OF rejects staying in effect.
Team news for tomorrow sees John McQuillan as the only casualty in with a chance of making the side for the trip to Tannadice.

Paddy ThingyApril 18th- Report in today's Sunday Mail has "forgotten" striker Paddy Connolly (right) linked with a move to English 2nd Division side Blackpool. Nice also to see the return of Hugh Keevins in the paper. No apology for the crap he wrote a fortnight ago but never mind - with TFOE in town next weekend no doubt he'll be given a warm reception by the Saints support.
Latest on keeper Alan Main is that he will be available for the Scotland squad match against Germany at the end of the month and is in with a chance of making Tuesday's trip to Tannadice.
Tonight's SPL match saw Scumdee get a 1-1 draw with TFOD. Unfortunately no bomb was present to wipe out either set of fans.

April 17th- The dreams of a UEFA spot with third place in the league took another battering today as a poor Saints side drew 0-0 at home to Hearts. Even worse was the injury to keeper Alan Main which led to reserve keeper Dolph taking over for the second-half. Still John O'Neil did make his first team comeback although he looked desperately short of match fitness.
Elsewhere Killie hammered the Pars 6-0 to open up a 7 point gap on Saints although we still have a game in hand which has suddenly taken on a much greater importance for the club's hopes for the season.
11.00pm - Latest is that Alan Main was taken to hospital as a precautionary measure but is now considered doubtful for Tuesday's match. Still at least the BBC pictures showed how dirty a bastard Kevin James is.

Del - Set to ReturnApril 16th- Team line-ups for tomorrows match against the Hearts are still pretty vague. Saints look set to be missing Pope but John O'Neil (right) could make a return after his 70 minute outing in the U-21 2-0 win over Aberdeen on Tuesday. John McQuillan could still miss out with a rib muscle strain but The Immortal Il Biscotti is in the squad.
For the Gorgie gits Gary Locke will miss out but ex-Falkirk star Kevin James is set to get his first start.
Speaking in today's P.A., St. Sandy said "The sooner the European situation is resolved the better - we've had a great season to date and we've plenty still to play for. Third place would be a great achievement. Our fans would deserve it because they were superb against Rangers last weekend. That was the one big plus."
There will be a one minute silence before kick-off to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.
Tomorrow's match is all-ticket as is next weeks home game against TFOE with the public sale of tickets for that game starting Monday morning.

April 15th- Thanks to the demands of SKY, the SPL fixture list for Saturday May 22nd (ie the last game of the season) has all been moved to Sunday May 23rd with a 6.05pm kick-off.
Another unofficial Saints WWW site has been launched. As yet unnamed you can find it at http://www.wbeatson.freeserve.co.uk

Mark McCormickApril 14th- Saints have been linked with a possible summer move for Livingston striker Mark McCormick (right) who played against us in the cup (and was pretty useful if I remember correctly). The youngster is looked on as cover for Saints striking problems according to the Courier today.
Tonight's SPL fixtures saw TFOE beat the Gorgie Gits 4-2 at Tynecastle whilst TFOD won 1-0 at home to the Pars.

Georgio - Remember him?April 13th- Well it just gets better - the latest news is that striker George O'Boyle (right) looks set to be missing until the end of the season through injury.
Meanwhile, UEFA are set to meet on April 22 to decide whether or not Saints have to play the Arab Scum for 3rd place in the Cup and the coveted UEFA slot. The hoped-for 4 Euro places this season looks dodgy now with the Scotland fans booing of the Czech national anthem a fortnight ago set to be reported by the UEFA observer and count against the chances of the Fair Play slot.

April 12th- As expected the papers make the usual depressing reading with the Sun resorting to a Bill Leckie slagging of the Saints support - easily as bad as the League Cup Final report.
For the team it's been revealed that John McQuillan is suffering from a leg injury received at Dunfermline 3 weeks ago which ruled him out of the semi. Also John Paul McBride was taken off early with a pulled hamstring which could rule him out of the Hearts game on Saturday, so perhaps he can be forgiven his poor performance.
The U-21s play Aberdeen tomorrow with John O'Neil expected to make his comeback.

April 11th- Plenty of Saints-related stuff in the papers this morning but strangely a total absence of Hugh Keevins in the Sunday Mail. Needless to say, none of the many letters sent on the subject of Keevins by Saints fans over the last week have been published by the paper.
The first of the pre-season friendlies has been set - Saints are at home to Fulham in July as the English side tour Scotland. Elsewhere, St. Sandy has said that he has cash to spend and is "actively looking for a striker".
No word on team news tonight, although John O'Neil has been mentioned as a possible start on the right wing. TFOD welcome back Scumdee reject Colin Hendry as their Aussie reject Moore is cup-tied.
9.00pm So the dream dies as Saints bow out of the cup with a whimper at the wrong end of a 4-0 defeat to TFOD thus ensuring the Wegie media get their dream cup final of the 2 teams of bigots.

April 10th- Saints seem set to hand a starting place to cult hero Miguel Simao for tomorrow night's match. Keith O'Halloran has recovered from the hamstring knock last week but John O'Neil has been ruled out of contention.
The first semi was decided today with TFOE getting a 2-0 win to ensure that the Arabs won't be the ones to suffer at the hands of St. Sandy in the final.
Elsewhere in the SPL today, Killie beat the Sheep 4-2 to increase their lead over us to 5 points albeit with one more match played. Scumdee got a 2-1 win over Motherwell.

St. Sandy + Billy BoyApril 9th- Little in today's papers other than a couple of interviews with Billy Kirkwood and Paul Kane.

April 8th- Despite the win last weekend and the prospect of the battle for the remaining Scottish Cup Final place this Sunday, a major dose of apathy has set in amongst the Perth public. Not known for their massive following of the club in one of it's most successful seasons ever, today's media report that the apathy has kicked in with only 2,000 tickets sold to Saints supporters for Sunday night's match. No doubt if we make the final the fairweather mob will appear from the woodwork but personally I'm getting fed up with it - so God knows how the players feel.
On a related subject the home match against Hearts has been made all-ticket but NOT a category A match (so we can keep our nice seats in the East Stand). No doubt we'll be outnumbered by the visiting support at home once more.

April 7th- Good and bad news ahead of the semi-final. John O'Neil is expected to play for the U-21s today although the semi might be too soon for a first team return. Meanwhile his replacement in Keith O'Halloran has recovered from the knock he took on Sunday which led to his substitution.
Worse news for off-form striker Gerry McMahon. St. Sandy has said that the Irishman will see a specialist about his injury this week but the Perth boss is already expecting "bad news".

April 6th- Little to report. Interviews in today's Sun with keeper Alan Main and Belly-Button Incarnate Miguel Simao show that the Saints squad have their feet firmly on the ground with regard to the forthcoming semi-final. TFOD on the other hand are already planning changes with Handball Hendry likely to play some part in their defending attempts.
23.00 - Tonight's SPL match saw Judas and his unwashed tinks lose 3 - 1 at home to the Gorgie Gits. Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

St. SandyCap'n JimApril 5th- It's still smiling faces all round Sainteeland today as the post-match gloating continues with even the TFOD supporters in my office grudgingly admitting that Saints deserved the win. Oh Joy. St. Sandy (pictured far right impersonating Wiggy the Walrus) paid tribute to Saints own "Roy of the Rovers" Jim Weir (celebrating his goal right). Referring to the media slights in certain papers yesterday a smiling manager said "Yes it wasn't a bad result for a bunch of flops. And as far as Jim Weir is concerned it really was Roy of the Rovers stuff. ".
Jim Weir himself is quoted as saying "I'm just delighted to be back, but to get a goal was a dream come true. I think I've only scored 4 in my time here. But John McQuillan has been outstanding for us this season and he's able to play in the semi. I'd be quite willing to step down and let him back in if need be"

Cap'n JimApril 4th- Well a great start to the day with Mr Senility himself, Hugh Keevins writing the following piece of inaccurate shite in today's Sunday Mail. ""St. Johnstone have been the biggest TV turn-off since Eldorado. On four times, one goal scored, NO wins! But the money's good. They'll make £165,000 from Sky for tonight's game with Ranges and the Scottish Cup tie. Thats big box-office for flops". Absolute rubbish given that Saints are one of the top teams in Scotland this season and apart from one match have seen their appearances on Sky limited to OF matches. Never mind a certain League Cup Semi against the high-flying Jambos. Personally I'm writing a letter of complaint to the paper's editor. Anyone else want to send a quick e-mail the address is mailto:mailbox@sundaymail.co.uk.
Also among the Media Falsehoods was a small piece in the News of the World linking HIVBees with a move for "frozen-out" club captain Jim Weir (right) - the fact that his absence from the Saints side has been due to injury has totally escaped their attention. Arses.
9.45 - Still all's well that ends well as Cap'n Jim headed the first of THREE !!!!!!, goals past TFOD in a glorious 3-1 victory over the Wegie Wiggies with the extra goals coming from sub Miguel Simao and the on-form Kieran McAnespie. Despite the crap reffing from Hugh Dallas (send votes to mailto:refvote@grange.demon.co.uk) it was a well-deserved win for the lads. Same again next week please !!!

April 3rd- SPL results today mean that Saints now lie 5 points behind third placed Kilmarnock who drew 2-2 with the Jambos in GorgieGitland. Elsewhere it's congratulations to ex-Saints hero Paul Cherry who saw Caley Thistle secure promotion to the 1st Division along with Livingston. Major thanks today to the wunnerful chaps at the Daily Record who have finally published a photo of Chic Young for us to drool over and include in the Media Falsehoods Page (which has also been updated with what will probably be the first of many SKY errors over the coming weeks).
Hugh Dallas is set to ref tomorrow night's match.

KeyringApril 2nd- Saints had their second bid for Martin Lauchlan rejected by Partick on Wed night which means no new faces for the rest of the season. The player is out of contract in the summer so Saints could still make a move then. St. Sandy apparently made enquiries about 2 "First Division midfielders" with no joy.
On the injury front, John McQuillan's suspension means that either Jim Weir or Danny Griffin could take his place at right-back. Also in contention is Il Biscotti who has recovered from his groin injury and Kieran McAnespie (right) who scored a wonder goal for the U-21s in the midweek 1-1 draw with Scumdee. On the minus (or positive possibly) side Gerry McMahon is rated less than 100% fit.

Top Of News


March 31st- With the transfer deadline looming there is still no word of a signing, although Saints have been linked with an improved offer for Martin Lauchlan

March 30th- Saints have announced ticket details for the Scottish Cup Semi-Final. The briefs will go on sale at McDiarmid on Thursday April 1st from 10-5 with a similar time on Friday April 2nd. Thereafter the Ticket Office will be open on Saturday and Monday from 10-12.
On the transfer front, the Daily Record reports that Saints had a £50,000 offer for Partick Thistle's Scotland U-21 midfielder Martin Lauchlan rejected by the Firhill mob, with St. Sandy seeing the 19 year old as a replacement for Phizzy Scott. With the Scottish transfer deadline looming tomorrow, it's looking less and less likely that Saints will pick up any new stars.

March 25th- Phizzy Scott has finally signed for Sheffield Wednesday with the fee between £70,000 and £100,000 depending on the paper you read. Elsewhere, Colin Cramb has finished his trial period with Walsall and has returned to Bristol City.
The allocation for the semi-final has been announced. Saints will receive 5,000 of the 60,000 tickets for the match at Parkhead althougha further allocation will be made available once these are all sold. With the match scheduled for a Sunday night and live on SKY, it's unlikely to be sold out.

March 24th- Still no official word on the Phizzy Scott transfer but a report in the papers today has the midfielder saying how he hoped that "the move would help boost my Scotland chances". The words as and if spring to mind.
7.55 The Sheffield Wednesday WWW Site says that Phizzy Scott will sign tomorrow subject to a medical being passed (although given his current form his passing is shite). No word on the fee.
One-time Saints target Jim Hamilton is jumping ship from the Gorgie Gits tonight and seems set to sign for Aberdeen.
John McQuillan has had his one match ban confirmed. He is now only a booking away from a further 3 match suspension.

Capn JimPhizzy set to move?March 23rd- The big news is the expected move of Phizzy Scott (right) to Sheffield Wednesday ahead of Thursday's English transfer deadline. The midfielder, who can move for nothing under Bosman at the end of the season has signed a pre-contract agreement and will get Saints a fee if the Yorkshire club can increase their offer of £60,000 which Saints managing director Stewart Duff described as "derisory". Saints are looking for £100,000 (fees courtesy of Scotland Today although the BBC Ceefax reports that the clubs have agreed a fee of (wait for it) £500,000 - which if true represents an amazingly good piece of business for Saints.
Another player who could be set to move in the summer is Jim Weir (far right). The big central defender is reported in today's Daily Record as saying that he "wants regular first team football. But with players like Danny Griffin, Dods, Stuart McCluskey and Stuart Malcolm all here who are younger, I'm not sure if I can be guaranteed it any more". Given the partnership in central defence this season of Alan Kernaghan and Darren Dods and the form of the U-21s it looks like it might be a parting of the ways with the club skipper.
On the injury front, John McQuillan usurprisingly had to receive stitches in his leg after the Petrie assault at the weekend but with suspension ruling him out until April 11th (and semi-final day), he should recover in time.
The SPL fixture at Tannadice has been moved again, this time to Tuesday, April 20th.

March 21st- Latest Euro-related story was on Teletext yesterday. Apparently if the Scottish Cup Final is an OF affair then the losing semi-finalists could face one another in a play-off to decide who gets the Scottish Cup Euro slot - which would be us and the soap-dodgers from Judasville.
Meanwhile, TFOE decided not to do us any favours by settling for a goalless draw against Kilmarnock which now puts us 4 points behind them.

March 20th- A shockingly bad performance from Saints saw the team on the wrong end of a 1-0 defeat to relegation-threatened Dunfermline. To add to our problems John McQuillan was red-carded for handball and misses the TFOD match. Still it was to be expected when Stuart Dougal was ref. Votes out of 10 on his performance to refvote@grange.demon.co.uk. Still one bright sign was the performance of John Paul McBride in midfield - don't expect to see Phizzy Scott get his place back soon.

LegendMarch 19th- The man we now know simplay as LEGEND has put pen to paper on a new 1 year deal to keep him at McD until summer of 2000. St. Sandy paid tribute to him saying "Roddy's commitment and efforts for the club over the years have been magnificent. I think this is backed up by our fans' reaction to him-you can't kid supporters." As part of the deal the striker gets a well-deserved testimonial season. "I've always wanted to stay here and am happy to sign a new deal" said the big man who had been interesting F**k**k and Livingston amongst others. Whilst probably no longer the indispensible player he was Roddy is arguably the most popular player at the club and hopefully his new contract can see some Euro experience at last.
Looking ahead to tomorrow's trip to East End Park both Phizzy Scott seems the most likely candidate to lose his place in the starting line-up following an incredibly crap performance in the Killie defeat last weekend and an added groin strain. John Paul McBride is also rated doubtful but our other cult hero Il Biscotti could be set to make a return to first team action along with Danny Griffin who has recovered from a thigh strain. To make matters worse tomorrow's ref is Stuart Dougal which means a dodgy penalty for the opposition and a Saintee red-carded probably.

March 18th- Finally there are congratulations to keeper Alan Main, who has finally been called up to the full Scotland squad for the Euro-2000 qualifiers. Having said that Pa Broon still managed to pick the over-hyped tink Scab Douglas. Stephen Robertson has also been called up to the U-21s.
Media reports suggest that St. Sandy could be set to move for ex-trialist striker Colin Cramb who scored two goals on Tuesday night whilst on loan to Walsall. With the English transfer deadline next week a move would have to be sorted out soon.

March 17th- Jim McCluskey is set to referee the Cup semi-final with Rangers.
Alex Ostlund has returned home - Saints have decided against a deal for the Swedish U-21 player despite good reports from his appearances in reserve games in Perth. Oh well.

March 16th- Latest on the Phizzy Scott transfer front is that the midfielder was watched by Liverpool at the weekend. No sign of a £5m bid though.

SPL LogoMarch 14th- There is now an Official SPL site where you can check out the latest attempts at ruining Scottish Football. It also includes full information on the U-21s.
Meanwhile there are Media Falsehoods galore today with News of the World, Scotland on Sunday and the Electronic Telegraph all scoring points.
On the transfer front, the NotW reports that Derby had Phizzy Scott watched yesterday and are preparing to move sooner rather than later for the midfielder. All I can say is that if they sign him based on the Kilmarnock match then their scout should be shot.

Scotland's No. 1March 13th- The Saintees mailing list has been in humourous mode recently. At the expense of our Tayside rivals, I've added the jokes to the Saintees Dictionary.
Saints fell to their first home defeat since Rangers when a lucky Killie team beat them 1-0. The only consolation for Saints is that the cameras were there to capture the farce of a goal when ref Dougie McDonald allowed play to continue despite Saints keeper Alan Main (right) lying badly injured. Post-match St. Sandy said "It's hard to find fault as we had about 75% of the play and a draw would have been a fair result". Feel free to send ref ratings to refvote@grange.demon.co.uk
Issue 2 of the Saints fanzine the J-Files is out today priced £1.

Chairman GeoffMarch 12th- Geoff Brown (right) has announced ambitious plans to build an 85-room 4-star hotel in the grounds of McD. The £8 million project to be financed alongside a financial partner or else leased as a franchise is designed to boost Saints income off the pitch.
On the park there's little team news ahead of tomorrow's match of the day (and probably BBC1 Sportscene featured game) against Kilmarnock, where the Saints support will have the novelty of playing at home for the first time in 5 matches !!! Apart from the usual long-term injuries, Danny Griffin is still rated doubtful with a thigh strain. Tomorrow's ref is Dougie McDonald who is set to ref his first Saints match this season.
Meanwhile, Saints goalkeeping coach Roy Baines has pressed for Alan Main to be called into the Euro 2000 Scotland squad set to be announced next Thursday saying that "Alan's playing well and it would be nice to see a real Scotsman between the posts".
Several new additions to the Saintees Dictionary - if anyone has any more suggestions e-mail me webmaster@grange.demon.co.uk

March 10th- Little news in the papers today. The SPL match at Tannadice which was originally scheduled for April 10th now looks set to take place on Wednesday April 14th. Meanwhile club chairman Geoff Brown was spotted at the Ross County match last night spying on transfer target Neil Tarrant although the Dingwall club looks set to slap a £200,000 price on his head.

March 9th- Skyare set to show both matches against The Forces of Darkness live - the SPL match on April 4th and the Cup semi-final on April 11th. The Semi-Final will be an all-ticket affair at Celtic Park no doubt leading to memories of the League Cup Final match in November. Speaking of the draw Allan Preston (who is now playing for the U-21s in his battle for fitness) said It always seems to be guys with Old Firm connections who make the draw and keep Rangers and Celtic apart - so the hot and cold plastic balls worked again! - not cynical in the slightest.
On the playing front the U-21s lost 4-2 to Rangers last night in a match whose refereeing standards closely followed that of the first team. One bright spark was the performance of Alex Ostlund who is enjoying a good trial period with the club. Manager St. Sandy is quoted in the papers today as saying that a signing decision is imminent with reports on the mailing list hinting that signing talks are already under way for the Swedish U-21 star who has been likened to a young Shell PetrolStation - no bad thing.
Injury-wise Danny Griffin is the latest victim. The N. Ireland internationalist was substituted on Saturday and is suffering from a thigh strain. His chances of making the big match this weekend have been rated doubtful.

March 7th- Saints have drawn The Forces of Darkness in the Scottish Cup Semi-Final after the Evil Ones beat Falkirk 2-1 this afternoon. The match is set to be played on either the 10th or 11th of April with the venue and kick-off time still to be decided. It also means that the SPL match scheduled for Saints at Tannadice on that Saturday will be played at a later date.

March 6th- Saints overcame a fairly lacklustre Motherwell side to win 2-0 easily and progress to the SEMI-FINALS of the Scottish Cup. In a heated confrontation with the over-hyped OF rejects goals from Darren Dods and cult-hero Miguel Simao saw Saints through to tomorrow's semi-final draw. Highlights are on BBC1 tonight at 10.35.
Elsewhere in the SPL, Kilmarnock's goalless draw with Dunfermline puts them ahead of us in 3rd place on goal difference.

Roddy and the CupMarch 5th- Tomorrow's sole Scottish Cup Quarter Final tie at Motherwell has seen Saints get plenty of coverage in the media today (although obviously not as much as Wegielands Motherwell). Chief mention to Roddy Grant (right) who has got his mits on the silverware. Without showing a hint of bias, he's put his weight behind Alan Main's call-up for the Euro 2000 matches saying that "Alan is easily the best keeper in Scotland just now despite not playing as well as last season".
On the transfer front, the Daily Record quotes trialist Alex Ostlund as saying "I would like to play in another country to improve my career and I would be very happy to do so at St.Johnstone". Meanwhile another striker being lined up for a possible move to the Holy Ground is Neil Tarrant the young striker for Ross County. Both St. Sandy and assistant Billy Kirkwood watched the 20-yr old in action in midweek and rumours abound that a £100,000 bid is being prepared.
Ahead of tomorrow's cup-tie Owen Coyle has decided to move from Motherwell to Parsland in a desperate attempt to avoid embarrassment when he misses another soft penalty tomorrow.

March 4th- The news on John O'Neill looks worse with the player now facing a 6-8 week layoff after tearing a medial ligament in his knee. Still it means that Pa Broon now has a built in excuse for not picking him for the Scotland squad.
Alex Ostlund played for Saints yesterday in their convincing 3-0 win over Kilmarnock in the U-21 league. Saints goals came courtesy of Jim Weir and a double from Miguel Simao. The appearance of Ostlund, so soon after he went back to Sweden does seem to hint at a move for his signature.

DelMarch 3rd- After the decent news on John O'Neill (right) earlier in the week he is now set to miss out on his first match of the season thanks to a twisted knee injury which hasn't cleared up. Whilst the injury is far from serious, St. Sandy has already ruled the midfielder out of Saturday's cup-tie. Still Saints have plenty of options in midfield with both Chief O'Halloran and new boy Pope likely candidates to fill the slot.
One-time Saints target Jim Hamilton is apparently set to move to Arabland or Sheepville according to the Courier, but given that the Scumdee daily had a photo of Nick Dasovic beside their article on Del don't believe a word.

March 2nd- Let's hear it for the Daily Record who in a pathetic attempt at appealing to the True Followers had tealady Aggie Moffat as one of their candidates for the title of Queen of Scots!!
Elsewhere ITV Teletext carried an interview with last month's trialist Colin Cramb with the ex-Hamilton striker saying that Saints are still interested in him. Dream on Colin. Meanwhile the Sun has Saints as one of the clubs interested in ex-Hun and current Norwegian striker Lee Robertson. However given that every other club in Scotland is named as being interested in the player it's doubtful Saints would bother.
Roddy Grant is set to be offered a 1 year deal to stay at Perth - enough to see him play at the San Siro.

March 1st- The news on Saints injury victim from Saturday John O'Neill isn't as bad as first feared with only a twisted knee causing problems. The midfielder is expected to make the cup match on Saturday. Meanwhile Allan Preston is set to resume training tomorrow after receiving an injection to cure his groin problem.

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February 27th- Saints moved up to 3rd in the league thanks to a 7th minute goal from Legend although the 1-0 win over Dundee was a lot more convincing than the scoreline suggests. Scotland assistant boss Alex Miller was at the game with Alan Main easily the more talented keeper on show. The game also saw Pope make his long-awaited first team debut coming on for the poorly performing Phizzy Scott.
Saints are on BBC 1 tonight on Sportscene - 3 weeks in a row !!!!

February 26th- Its Scumdeeland tomorrow as the boys try to rise to 3rd in the league and laugh at Scumdee getting kicked out at the end of the season. In an effort to attract the neanderthals the Tinks have cut prices. So it's £10 to stand in the cold behind the goal or £13 for a crap view of the pitch obscured by pillars from the decrepit stand with a splinter up yer arse. The joys of the quaint old Dens Park eh?
Saints are expected to field an unchanged side tomorrow after two-in-a-row goalscoring hero Phizzy Scott recovered from a midweek groin strain. Kevin Toner is the git in the middle tomorrow.
On the transfer front Alex Ostlund is reported in the Daily Record as being desperate to play in Scotland but says he won't wait in Sweden for ever on a call from St. Sandy. Meanwhile it looks more and more like Phizzy Scott will be heading to England at the end of the season under Bosman. Saints have made the player several offers but in today's P.A., St. Sandy said "We made him a very good offer recently which his agent rejected. We asked what figures he had in mind but there's been nothing forthcoming. How can we negotiate? It seems he's no intention of staying here at the end of the season. It's time he put his cards on the table" to which the player replied Sandy Clark is the gaffer and he's just doing his job. But as I've said before I can't afford to be rushed into a major career decision. But I am getting close to making that decision. I don't think clubs, in general, like agents and if I was in their position maybe I could relate to that. But that's the way football is nowadays. The gaffer might think I'm being badly advised but I'm happy with my agent. We haven't been together long and it's a question of coming to trust each other. I know fans want to know what's happening and I'll let them know as soon as possible. I'm not deliberately hiding anything. There's been a lot of press speculation but I haven't spoken to any clubs and my agent is in Spain at the moment. It looks to me as though he is waiting to see what offers appear from England, although with Saints having signed cover in Pope he may find he is not the automatic choice if he disenchants the Saints management.
Congratulations to Kiegan Parker who has been called up to the Scotland U-16 squad for a tournament in Malta next week.

February 24th- Swedish trialist Alex Ostlund has gone back to Sweden although further moves to sign him have not been ruled out by St. Sandy who wanted the striker to stay for a longer trial period.

February 23rd- Saints held on to their lead in the SPL U-21 league with a 2-0 win over Hearts last night with goals from Pope and Miguel Simao. Alex Ostlund played and according to reports showed some good skills.
On the transfer front, St. Sandy has denied any approach for either Phizzy or John O'Neil

February 22nd- So much for yesterday's piece of Wegie journalism. Today, both the Daily Record and Sun reckon that the Bolton scout at Tynecastle was watching Phizzy. Nothing like consistency there then. Mind you both papers devoted 75% of their match reports to discussing Hearts as though a defeat was a shock to the Gorgie Gits.

February 21st- Must be a quiet day in Wegieland as the Sunday Mail resorts to totally unfounded media speculation with the rumour that Bolton Wanderers are set to bid £400,000 for John O'Neil - a player who still has 16 months outstanding on his contract. Total bollocks IMHO. Even if Saints were considering selling there is no way he would be allowed to leave for less than a million. Still what can you expect from a paper which gave MoM at Tynecastle to Donkey Macpherson.
Toinight's SKY match saw TFOE cling on to second place with a 7-1 win over Motherwell no doubt casting claims that it would only have been 6-1 if the Flying Turdlike Terrorist had been in goal.

February 20th- Latest team news has Gerry McMahon set to miss out after breaking a bone in his hand.
6.45pm - Saints kept up the pressure for the UEFA slot with an excellent 2-0 win at Tynecastle on what has to be the worst playing surface in Scotland with Phizzy Scott scoring a cracking 20-yard opener for the Sexy Boys and Paul Kane rounding off a great victory. Post-match saw St. Sandy full of praise for keeper Alan Main who made 2 crucial saves during the match - "Alan deserves a place in the Scotland squad with that sort of form". With Killie's match abandoned, Saints are now only 2 points behind the Ayrshire men.
7.45 - Saints will be on Sportscene tonight - watch for the Media Falsehoods

February 19th- Team news for Tynecastle sees Saints expected to play an unchanged side from the cup team at Livingston last week with Pope the only anticipated addition to the squad for the journey to Edinburgh.
Alex Ostlund has had his trial period extended to Tuesday of next week to allow him to play in the U-21 game against Hearts on Monday night.

February 18th- According to today's papers Colin Cramb was offered a 3 month loan deal by Saints but turned it down. Meanwhile the other trialist, Alex Ostlund put in a good performance in the U-21 match on Tuesday and according to the Courier is a likely signing, although Billy Kirkwood says that the club will make a decision once the full week's trial is over. Looking ahead to the trip to Gorgie Gitland Hugh Dallas has been chosen as the man to hate. The Jambos have plenty of problems with defender Paul Ritchie set to miss out with a thigh strain.

Kiegan ParkerFebruary 17th- Pope made his debut for Saints in a 2-1 win at Kelty over the Pars U-21 side. Also making the papers is youth striker Kiegan Parker (right) who scored the second goal in a 3-0 win for the Scotland U-16s against Northern Ireland.
Saints are to make no further moves regarding Colin Cramb after the striker failed to impress on trial.
TFOE beat Killie 1-0 tonight to go second in the league, 7 points ahead of the Chosen Ones.

February 16th- The Sun reports that St. Sandy is set to sign Hamilton striker Gary Wales for £200,000 within the next 48 hours. Saints had a previous bid turned down after Wales personal terms couldn't be met but the report says that he has since lowered his wage demands in a bid to play at the higher level.
John Paul McBride is set to make his competitive debut today for Saints U-21s against Dunfermline.
Meanwhile the Cup tie against Motherwell hasn't been picked up for live TV coverage. The BBC are showing TFOD v Falkirk and Sky selected Morton v TFOE. Nothing like an OF bias in the media there then.

February 15th- The Del for Scotland campaign has started with even the delightfully unbiased Scottish media wakening up to the fact that the Saints midfielder is miles better than O'Donnell, Gemmill et al.

February 14th- Today's Hunday Mason reports that Saints are about to offer a week's trial to Swedish international striker (and Larsson lookalike) Alex Ostlund
TFOD won 6-0 to get their place in the Scottish Cup Quarter Final.
8.15pm Draw for the Scottish Cup Qtr Final is :: Motherwell v Saints, Ayr v Bankies/Ross Co/Arabs, Morton v Sellick and Rangers v Falkirk (another proudest moment for Totten).

Legendary RoddyFebruary 13th- Saints strolled into the quarter finals of the Scottish Cup with a 3-1 win over Livingston. In an easy game which saw the comeback of Nick Dasovic the goals came from Legend (right) with a brace sandwiching a Phizzy Scott effort.
Saints are joined in the quarter final draw by Ayr Utd, TFOE, Motherwell, Morton and Falkirk with Hamilton/Rangers, and Clydebank/Ross Co./Arab tinks still to play their 4th round ties.

February 12th- Team news ahead of tomorrow's cup-tie sees the possible return of Nick Dasovic to the Saints line-up after the Canadian midfielder played for the full 90 minutes in a bounce game earlier this week. Saints are going into the tie as apparent underdogs given the media coverage given to the Livvy Lions (!) this week, although "expert?" pundit Alan McInally has tipped us to end the West Lothian club's 26-game unbeaten run.
Off the park Saints are planning a £500,000 expansion of the West Stand facilities including extending the restaurant and conference facilities although the chairman emphasised that St. Sandy still has money available to strengthen the squad.
Meanwhile the continuing lack of success of the Gorgie Gits means that next week's SPL match at Tynecastle will NOT be all-ticket.

February 9th- Still plenty of speculation surrounding a possible move for Jim Hamilton with the Hearts striker more than a little unhappy at Tynecastle just now. Meanwhile midfielder Phizzy Scott has revealed that he still hasn't made up his mind about his future. Saints have offered the 24-yr old options of a 1 or 2 year deal and neither contract has been ruled out yet.
On the injury front, a frozen pitch put paid to last night's U-21 match so St. Sandy is hoping to line up a bounce game later on in the week to give Kid Goals and Nick Dasovic a run out along with the newly-nicknamed Pope. Things are looking better for long-term injury victim Allan Preston with a hospital stay scheduled and an comeback planned for the end of the month.

February 6th- Saints get back on track with a 1-0 win over relegation candidates Dundee Utd with the winning goal courtesy of a Blaster Bollan penalty after Roddy Grant had been fouled. Nathan Lowndes also made his first-team comeback from the bench in a match which was summed up by assistant boss Billy Kirkwood as "mingin'".

February 5th- St. Sandy seems to have made his first signing for the club with only a medical still to be passed before Celtic's John Paul McBride officially becomes one of the Chosen Ones. The 20-yr old midfielder has signed a 3 and a half year contract with Saints in a deal thought to be around the £200,000 mark. He could feature in tomorrow's derby match with Dundee Utd who today resigned ex-git David Hannah from Celtic. Saints also have an unnamed Portuguese trialist at McD - no word on whether or not it's the legendary Quim
Set to miss out tomorrow are Nick Dasovic and Nathan Lowndes who have only just resumed full training and longer-term injury victim Allan Preston. Roddy Grant looks set to start for Saints after an impressing U-21 hat-trick on Monday.
The Dundee Utd match is also set to be the featured game on Scotsport on Sunday night - although whether or not that should be seen as a good omen is debatable.

J-P McBrideFebruary 4th- The latest name in the Great Striker Search (Pt 99) is ex-Hamilton striker Colin Cramb currently at Bristol City. The 24-yr old who hasn't played a first team game at Ashton Gate since October comes to Perth next week on trial. More news here. Meanwhile Sellik U-21 'star' and attacking midfielder John Paul McBride (right) was seen at McD today and is believed to be in signing talks with St. Sandy in a move which could see the 20-yr old a Saintee by the weekend.

February 2nd- St. Sandy held a post-mortem into Sunday's defeat yesterday in an attempt to bounce back ahead of Saturday's derby match. With the lack of striking power a real problem, his cause hasn't been helped by the news that George O'Boyle is set to be sidelined for another 2 months, whilst both Nick Dasovic and Nathan Lowndes are now said to be doubtful for the Utd. match. Allan Preston is also set to miss out as he sees a specialist this week regarding his ankle injury.
Still on the bright side The Legend has done his chances no harm with a hat-trick in last nights U-21 match against a Sellik side featuring Donnelly and Burley.
On the transfer front St. Sandy says that no approach has been made by HIVbees for midfielder Phizzy Scott so it looks like another case of media / agent rumours.

Phizzy StaysFebruary 1st- The aftermath of the Sellick defeat still hangs around. Media reports today have Phizzy Scott (right) linked with a move to HIVBees, although given the Retard's match reporting accuracy take this with a big pinch of salt (see Media Falsehoods for more details).
On the injury front Nathan Lowndes looks set to make Saturdays derby match which will hopefully see the novelty of a striker scoring a goal in Saints colours.
23.00- some good news anyway the U-21s beat the Sellik U-21s 3-1 at McDiarmid tonight with Roddy Grant getting a hat-trick.

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January 31st- Saints have been linked with a move for Selliks young midfielder John Paul McBride according to a report in the Hunday Mason today. Alan Kernaghan is expected to come back into the first team tonight, which means that last week's MoM Danny Griffin looks set to miss out.
21.00 - Another Sky match, another gubbing as Saints collapsed 5-0 to TFOE leaving us clinging on to 4th place and the omens looking distinctly bad ahead of Saturdays visit of the Arabs.

January 29th- Saints skipper Jim Weir is an outside bet for the match on Sunday although a place on the bench seems the best bet for him, after he put in an 80 minute shift in the U-21 game on Monday. John Rowbotham is the referee for Sunday's match.
Congratulations to STV's Scotsport Extra Whine for getting another couple of Media Falsehoods in tonight's show.

Phizzy StaysJanuary 28th- The Scottish Cup 4th round match against Livingston has been made all-ticket by the West Lothian Club. With the ground holding 6,100 fans, Saints have been allocated the North Stand (ie the one behind the goal holding approx. 1800 fans). Tickets priced £14 and £8 go on sale at McDiarmid to season ticket holders from the Wednesday 3rd to Saturday the 6th February, thereafter to the general public. Voucher 25 is required to secure an early brief.
Meanwhile both Nathan Lowndes and Nick Dasovic are set to miss out on Sunday's SKY match against the Unholy Forces of Evil in Wegieland. Whilst both players have trained this week St. Sandy has said that Sunday is too soon for them to come back to first team action.
On the transfer front, out-of-contract midfielder Phizzy Scott (right) has ruled out a move to the land of the Judas. Speaking to the Express chairman Geoff Brown bluntly said that "Philip Scott wouldn't go to United" - not that this will stop the Wegie Media rumours.

January 27th- St. Sandy is reported in Teletext tonight to have been in Portugal again spreading the good word about Saints. His scheme is for Saints to set up a European wide scouting network to get the best young players to come to Perth.
Some good news ahead of the 4th round Scottish Cup match with David Bingham, ex-Saintee and current Livvy top goalscorer set to miss the match against his old club. That leaves only about a dozen ex-Saints players to worry about then.

January 26th- Jim Weir's comeback continued last night as he played in the U-21 3-0 defeat at Pittodrie.

January 25th- Saints have again been linked with E Stirling defender Scott Walker who is either 23 or else a teenager depending on which part of the Retard you read. The good news on the training front is that Nathan Lowndes should resume training in the next couple of days.

January 24th- Saints are away to Livingston in the 4th round of the Cup. The full draw is Ayr v Brechin/Albion Rvrs, Clydebank/Ross Cty v Queen's Park/Dundee Utd, Motherwell v Hibs/Stirling, Morton v Clyde, St. Mirren/Hamilton v Rangers, Stranraer v Falkirk, Livingston v Saints and Celtic v Dunfermline. Matches to be played on the weekend of 13/14th Feb.

Double Boy DelJanuary 23rd- A second-half goal from John O'Neill(right) increased demands for his Scotland call-up as Saints struggled to a 1-0 win over Forfar in the Scottish Cup 3rd round. The draw for the 4th round takes place tomorrow night without Premier sides Kilmarnock, Aberdeen and (crocodile tears time) Scumdee who all fell victim to lower league opposition this afternoon.

January 22nd- The main injury worry for Saints ahead of tomorrows cup-tie is Nathan Lowndes who is only rated 50:50 with a calf strain.
Meanwhile Saints have released Canadian striker David Xausa. The 22 yr old joined at the beginning of last year but following one sub appearance for the first team has been out of the picture thanks to injury. Although fit Saints have freed him, with Caley Thistle apparently set to move for his signature.
Saints have been linked with 23yr old stopper Scott Walker of East Stirling. As to all the speculation regarding foreign trialists, St. Sandy is quoted in todays PA as saying "How many trialists have we got here? None!" - so that's that settled then.

January 21st- Roddy Grant has denied he has any plans to move to another club saying, "While I'm not getting a starting place I'm more than happy that the manager is including me in the squad and after the winter break I'm raring to go". Congratulations to the Retard for referring to the big man as "frozen-out" - at least it allows them to maintain their commanding lead in the 1998-99 Media Falsehoods.
Another player mentioned as the subject of transfer speculation is Eusebio who in today's Sun is mentioned as being watched by Liverpool - take a big pinch of Sodium Chloride with that story.

Daniel NannskogJanuary 20th- Saints mystery trialist has been revealed by the Retard as 24-yr old Swedish frontman Daniel Nannskog (right). More details on the Prospects page. or if you want to check how good your Swedish is check http://www.dif.se/spelare/dana.htm
Meanwhile transfer speculation has started regarding the legend that is Roddy Grant. The 32-yr old striker is out of contract in the summer and is currently rumoured to be interesting Falkirk, Livingston Schemies and Airdrie. With Falkirk rumoured to be set to bid £40,000 for the "frozen out hitman" (thanks to the Sun for that Media Falsehood he could be set to move. However, given his "strained" relationship with Falkirk boss Staircase Totten who sold Roddy from Saints to the Pars before, and the current lack of aerial firepower in the Saints forward lines a move might not be imminent.

Daryn SmithJanuary 19th- Saints drew 1-1 with Motherwell in the U-21 match at Crieff Rd this afternoon with Daryn Smith (right) getting Saints goal. There was also rumoured to be a foreign trialist playing with the team after training with the squad in Spain. On the subject of trialists, the club have denied any moves for Portuguese striker Quim (probably for fear of upsetting innocent Dougie Donnelly).

January 18th- Birmingham City have apparently joined the Hilltoon Whores in the chase for Phizzy Scott although with the shutdown still in effect it's looking more and more like a media rumour.

Bandito the PoseurJanuary 17th- With Saints back in the country, the Scottish Cup previews have started. Featured in the paper today is Eusebio (right) who is set to make his Scottish Cup debut next Saturday. Speaking to the Sunday Mason (who finally realised Saints were in Marbella), he said "I love these Cup games and it would be very special to play a Hampden because I've heard how good it will be when it is finished." and in an act guaranteeing him cult status he continues "Our fans are a lot better than in Portugal because they are passionate and care about their team. I like it that way." Miguel also says that if Saints reach the final, he'll invite his friend and Barcelona captain Figo over to join the Saints fans.
Elsewhere in the papers today Phizzy Scott has again been linked to a move to Arabland despite being in discussions about a new contract with Saints. St. Sandy is quoted as saying "Philip has the potential to do well but he has to prove himself. We'd like to keep him and I don't think another couple of years here will do him any harm."
And finally, Gerry McMahon has been revealed as a good singer who kept the Sunday Mason entertained in the evenings - nice to see he's good at something.

St Sandy at the SeasideJanuary 15th- Tickets have gone on sale for the Sky match against Celtic at Parkhead on Sunday Jan 31st price £15. Sales are restricted to season ticket holders only until January 22nd.
In the media little to report (except the miracle of the Retard actually realising Saints were in Marbella). St. Sandy is quoted as saying that "players don't seem to want to come to Perth. So far we have tried to sign 4 without any luck". With transfer fees not a problem it seems that Saint's image as a provincial club will take some time to live down - then again arseholes like Bill Leckie who write the drivel that appeared in the Sun after the Cup Final don't help matters too much.
On the comeback trail, Jim Weir managed 60 minutes against Eagles on Tuesday whilst Keith O'Halloran is also on the way back. Both are being lined up for a possible game on Tuesday against Motherwell in the U-21 league.
CONGRATULATIONS to Paddy Connolly whose wife had a baby boy on Wednesday.

QuimJanuary 14th- Finally some coverage of Saints in the media today. Despite sharing the same resort as Celtic it seems that the Retard et al were going to ignore God's Chosen Team. But congratulations to the Sun for having a post-match interview with Allan Preston. The cult hero completed 90 minutes against Go Ahead Eagles on Tuesday with no side effects to his groin injury and said "The boys are reaping the benefits of this trip. We couldn't have trained at home over the past couple of weeks as the weather has been so bad. I only hope the break proves worth it when we head into the second half of the season".
One other piece in the Sun about Saints. Apparently St. Sandy is lining up a "shock" £250,000 bid for a Portuguese striker from Belenenses. He's seen a video of the player described as a "giant hitman" and has been in contact with his agent regarding a move to Perth. Preston North End are also reportedly interested in the player who is top scorer at his Lisbon-based club. The best part of it all it the guys name - one word. "Quim" (see picture on the right). I reckon thats worth the signing just to get it on our tops. Anyway further info from the Belnenses site (http://www.olhodecolombo.pt/superbelem/quim.html) reveals that he's 24, 1.95m tall (6ft) and out of contract in 1999. Oh yeah and his full name is Joaquim Miguel Leitao Freites Ferras. More details on the Prospects Page.

January 13th- It's been revealed that Saints have turned down a chance to appear in the Intertoto Cup. Chief executive Stewart Duff said that the club had been offered a place but with the competition starting on July 29th did not give enough preparation time. With the demise of the Cup-Winners Cup however, and the fact that Saints would be starting Euro games early if they qualify through the SPL this to me smacks of some stupidity.

Alastair StevensonJanuary 12th- Congratulations to Saints youth coach Alastair Stevenson (right) for single-handedly sparing those of us bored of TFOD handwriting analysis to get us through the winter shutdown. He was reported in the Sun today as being acquitted in court in Perth of being drunk in charge of a vehicle after being found by police the worse for drink in his car with his dog. Apparently his other half had thrown him out and he was spending the night in his Citroen. Luckily though the car was in a private car park and therefore not foul of the law. Excellent stuff.
On the playing front Saints seem to be the only club that has gone abroad without BBC / STV / Sun / Record / Chic media coverage. Which of course means we're relying on hearsay and rumour as usual. Apparently Jim Weir was set to play part of the match against Go-Ahead Eagles in Marbella. One player not with the squad is under-fire striker Paddy Connolly whose wife is due a baby soon.
Alan Kernaghan has been confirmed as being suspended from the Forfar match after the SFA ruling that bookings from last years tournament carry over this season.
7.45 news Saints won 3-1 today - no word on scorers but expect more later on the Go Ahead Eagles WWW site at http://www.gaeagles.com

January 9th- Saints fly out to the millionaires paradise of Marbella today for a weeks training and work at a specialist sports centre. They are due to play Dutch side Go-Ahead Eagles in a bounce game on the 12th.
Meanwhile for the thousands of dedicated Saintees left behind there is the burning question - What the F**k do you do on a Saturday in January with no footie?
Saints will face Forfar in the Scottish Cup on Jan 23rd after the Bridie Buggerers beat East Fife 1-0 at New Bayview.

Capn JimJanuary 5th- Saints are set to head to a specialist sports complex in Marbella this weekend. Jim Weir (right) is heading out and finally seems set to resume playing after 8 months out with Achilles trouble. He is short of match practice and is unlikely to feature in the first team for some time although with an "easy" cup-tie coming up at the end of the month it might be an opportune time for him to return.

January 3rd- More Media Falsehoods today with the News of the World having the best effort - STV are still way out in front. Even worse news for John O'Neill was Chic the Pric rating him in the top 10 players of the season so far - surely the kiss of death to his form.
Saints have been drawn at home to either Forfar or East Fife in the 3rd round of the Cup. The game is set to be played on Jan 23rd. The full draw is :: Queens Park/Clachnacuddin v Dundee Utd, Greenock Morton v Dundee, Ayr Utd v Kilmarnock, Stranraer v East Stirlingshire, Falkirk v Huntly, Keith/Brechin City v Albion Rovers, Hibernian v Montrose/Stirling Albion, Motherwell v Hearts, Partick Thistle v Dunfermline, Raith Rovers v Spartans/Clyde, St. Mirren v Hamilton Academical, Celtic v Airdrieonians, Rangers v Whitehill Welfare /Stenhousemuir, Clydebank v Queen of the South/Ross County and Aberdeen/Livingston

Double Boy DelJanuary 2nd- A double from John O'Neill(right) added to a penalty from Gary Bollan and a strike by Alan Kernaghan saw Saints slaughter the sheep 4-1 to keep up with the leaders. The league now enters a 3 week winter shutdown although the Scottish Cup will appear in a fortnight. In the meantime Saints are off to Malaga for some mid-season pre-season training.
George O'Boyle has had an op on his groin tear and unfortunately will be out for 2 months. Meanwhile Nick Dasovic missed out on todays match with a back injury.
Saints next SPL fixture is away to TFOE. The Parkhead match is live on Sky on 31st January.

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