Temple Of Saints - Bollocks

Scottish Premier League - 12/05/2001

Saints 2 Arabs 3 League Table Here

Team: Main,Troy,Flash,Dasovic,Weir,Dods,Marco,Tommy,Pope, MoMo,JR
Subs: Cuthbert,Nathan,Kiegan,Crozier,Fotheringham

Aw shit. Some things are really hard to take and watching several hundred unwashed lice-ridden Arabs trampling over God's pasture at full-time just rounds off a disappointing home leg of the season. Any chance we can get them kicked out the SPL for invading the pitch? Or for being in possession of an obese whinging midfielder?

It's hard to criticise Saints today - Troy replaced the injured McCluskey as the only change to the side - but as with last week a red card turned the course of the game. Unfortunately for us it was JR on the receiving end and his departure at the start of the second half saw a 2-0 lead turn into defeat.

It all started so well with Saints able to shut the large mob of rat-crunchers in the 5th minute. Some good work on the right by JR saw his pass into the box come back off Le Mo into the path of Troy McClune who sent a lovely chip over Gallachers head and into the net. The game was fast and furious with both sides up for it. Little in the way of real goalmouth action though with Main able to deal with any threats by the Arabs up front and the Saints defence closing down their attack well, whilst at the other end the Arabs were able to mark Mo well and Pope was unable to push forward to support much with the linesmens' flags and offside decisions deciding most of the play.

We should have increased our lead just before the half-hour mark when Cap'n Jim (who shows his love for all things Juteoplotian in abundance today :)) leapt to head a MoMo corner down to the goal only for Gallacher to hold the ball. Almost straight away the play broke to the other end and Dods was forced into a foul in the box. Freeland had no hesitation in pointing to the spot and we had no hesitation in splitting our sides laughing when Tubby Miller sent a crap weak shot wide of the goal - and you thought we had problems with spot kicks?

There was little action until just before the break with the game being bogged down by needless fouls and stoppages. But 5 minutes before the interval we increased our lead with a sweetly worked goal. A clearance from Weir inside our half found Nick who sent the ball to Pope through the middle. He turned and put a great through ball to Le Mo who was running between two Arab defenders. Despite being held he still passed the ball right where JR ran in and slipped a neat shot under Gallacher. 2-0 us, we go daft and the ref books JR for over celebrating - given some of the celebrations that have gone unpunished this season it seemed harsh and with what happened in the 2nd half it was to prove costly.

The second 45 was only a couple of minutes old when Tubby boy was caught late by JR. He was running across the pitch and it was JR's first foul of the day. But such was the quality of the Bollanesque Millers acting that Freeland whipped out the yellow and red card. Harsh to say the least. Surprise, surprise from then on we were on the back pedal and the Arabs could scent blood (amazing their nostrils could get past their own BO though) and despite St Sandy going daft on the touchline urging us to push forward the strategy of the players of defending on their 18yd line was suicidal to say the least.

Of course discipline didn't help and Le Mo picked up another yellow for the collection in 55 minutes although to be fair he was being manhandled by De Thug for a good 5 minutes beforehand. With Sylla on his own up front and Tommy acting as left-back the midfield disintegrated. Dasovic dropped back, Marco went all defensive and Pope after such a good performance last week just drifted out the game.

The fans were getting worked up as well and Cap'n Jim managed to take the piss out of them with a visible kissing of the badge in front of a foaming rabies-ridden flea-bitten mongrel of an away support in the main stand. Classic stuff. Unfortunately the continual defending meant something had to give and in 65 minutes a cross from the right found Main in an uncharacteristic flapping mode. The ball went past him and found Tubby boy at the back post. A dramatic diving floundering attempt to gain a penalty saw his designer stubble and dandruff catch the ball by mistake and give the impression of heading it into the net.

The shots began to rain in after that. Lilley (with a skinhead demonstrating the effects of regular nit-nurse visits) hit a couple of shots that went just wide. Kiegan came on for the Pope with 15 minutes to go with Le Mo dropping back into midfield as the Arabs removed De Thug and put Winters on. The last 10 minutes though saw it all cave in. With eight minutes left a ball from the left saw us sitting too deep again and Easton got in a header to make it 2-2. Cue for the first of the pitch invasions and with Tayside's finest taking no action it was left to Cap'n Jim to start getting some fans off the park - cue a warning from Freeland.

Even worse was to come. With Crozier on for the knackered McClune, Main made a world-class save from a 15-yd shot. But it wasn't enough and a Lilley narrow drive on the stroke of half-time gave the smelly ones the points. Oh yeah and Cap'n Jim picked up a yellow for his troubles.

MoM for me had to go to Weir - at least he was willing to fight in the 2nd half. We didn't play that badly in fact - it was just more a case that the Arabs were playing for their survival. JR's sending off cost us the points though - no doubt he'll be in the bad books for a while.

One game to go..........

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