Temple Of Saints - Kelvin is a Saintee!!!

Bells League Division One 18/03/2006

Scumdee 0 Saints 1 League Table Here

Team : Glennon, Stevenson, Goran, Pamela, Rustybitz, Fozzy, Henry, Sheridan, Hardie, Scotland, Sheerinho
Subs : Cat, Savo, Oweny, Winter, Weir

There are moments of pleasure which stick in the mind of yer average Saints fan from these games. Scoring 7 on New Year's Day, watching us qualify for Europe. But not everything involves skill - sometimes you have to add in the sheer numptiness of the opposition. And to the ranks of Wilkie, Charnley et al, today sees the name of Kelvin Jack as the latest honorary Saintee. With the fat lady warming up in the wings and awaiting her cue, Saints donned the protective gear for their trip into the Baghdadesque warzone that is Juteopolis. Still, unlike our hosts, at least we'd managed to keep our title aspirations going beyond the festive period. And while the media might not have placed much emphasis on the 90 minutes the Saints support certainly had with the small matter of revenge top of the agenda after the hospitality shown during our last visit. And by God we got it today in abundance with a good all-round performance only disappointing in that it didn't yield more goals. Still we've got plenty to smile about tonight.

Missing for Saints this afternoon was Stephen Dobbie who was suffering from a groin strain. Skipper Kevin James was also forced to sit this one out after injuring his hamstring in Dingwall last Saturday so it was left to Kevin Rutkiewicz to pick up the captain's armband. Into the defence stepped Fozzy while John Henry took over in midfield allowing Mad Mental Martin to go up front. Jamie Winter dropped to the bench alongside Oweny, Savo and the Peroxide-tinted figure of Jim Weir. As for the home side Lee "own goal" Wilkie and ex-Saintee Stewart McCluskey were on the park while Jason's international teammate Kelvin Jack was between the sticks - and he was set to play a big part in the action. A small word about the pitch as well. Suffice to say it was as big a disgrace as on our last visit and again contributed to the poor play and injuries during the game. From the start Saints pressed and almost took the lead in the second minute when a Darren Sheridan freekick was chipped back across the goal by Ryan but there was no takers. A minute later and the impressive Goran fired a cross in from the left which Ryan forced a corner from. Jack held it though (not that he kept that record up!).

It wasn't all going our way though with Anderson having a rotten game on the right side of defence and along with Ryan was probably our worst player on the day. This was typified in the 6th minute when Brady was past him and he brought the tink down on the edge of the box. The freekick was fired in but after some panicky pinball the defence eventually cleared their lines. Lynch and Smith had shots blocked before on the quarter-hour mark, Goran released Jason who turned Wilkie in the box. He couldn't make room for the shot so squared to Hardie, but his shot was blocked. The bad news for the quiet coagies was that Wilkie was left down and had to be stretchered off (no witty music on the tannoy either).

Saints were creating the better chances although the midfield was struggling to get going. Jason should have scored after 20 minutes, after he got onto the end of a Glennon goal kick but in the end, his angled shot went wide. Then in the 27th minute Jason won a freekick. The ball was fired in for Hardie, but his shot was saved. A similar set-piece two minutes later, found Jason who set up Goran but his shot went well over, followed by Hardie attempting an ambitious scissors kick - he failed. The Scum were limited to a 36th minute corner but John Henry cleared the danger easily. Saints were soon pressing back though and Goran and Sheerinho linked well before the former cut the ball back to Henry but his chip went just over the bar.

Four minutes from the break and another corner ended with Darren sending a cross over which found Rustybitz who ran into the box but shot over the bar. Sheerinho saw a long-range effort held a minute later and then Ryan set up Jason who played a neat one-two with Mad Mental Martin before breaking into the box but Jack dived to get the ball at his feet. Fozzy picked up the first booking of the game just before the interval for a sliding challenge on McManus which seemed a bit harsh given the attention Stanic and Scotland had received since kick-off with a certain Mr McCluskey at the forefront. The former Saint was in the thick of it a minute later with an attempt to throttle Jason - the freekick was wasted though. The half was rounded off Mad Mental Martin again setting up Jason but this shot was blocked by Jack with Hardie just too late to poke home the rebound.

The second-half started much more evenly with Saints still struggling to pass the ball about. Hardie looked to have picked up a bad knee knock five minutes into the half (ironically the same spot where Scott Paterson suffered his injury last time), but was able to carry on. Jason had the first chance of the half in the 51st minute when he beat the offside trap but went too wide in the box and could only cut the ball back to Ryan who shot over the bar. Dundee broke up the park and forced a couple of corners and almost broke the deadlock when a break saw them chip the ball over Matt Glennon only for Fozzy to spoil things with a clearance off the line.

Saints went up the park and Goran forced a corner. Cue the moment to savour for the large travelling support behind the home goal. Dazza took the corner and fired in an in-swinger. Jason stood in the line but wasn't needed as Kelvin Jack rose up to get the ball with outstretched hands. Unfortunately for the Trinidad keeper his hand's were a bit too outstretched and all he could do was palm the ball into the net before collapsing himself over the line as the Saints support began to cheer (and go into mild hysterics). Not since the days of an Andy Rhodes dance in his own box has a keeper been so remorselessly slagged off after letting in a daft goal in a Saints v Scum match. Chants of "Kelvin, Kelvin give us a goal" were only the beginning. Oh aye and bugger this own goal stuff - I'm crediting Darren Sheridan with that one.

The Scum tried to get back into the game but for all their pressure there was little threat to Matty's goal. Goran conceded one corner that was headed over but any others were comfortably dealt with by the Saints keeper with Lynch the closest with a shot going well over in the 62nd minute. Saints were restricted to a couple of corners that Kelvin Jack held (much to our disappointment) and a good passing move in the 68th minute that finally found Henry only for the midfielder to be adjudged slightly offside.

That was his last involvement in the game as he was subbed in favour of Savo with Hardie dropping back to the midfield. Hardie should have scored three minutes later when after a great Scotland dribble, the ball was passed to Sheerinho who played a great cross into the unmarked Mental Man in the box only for his header to go over the bar. The game began to get a bit scrappier with a few heavy challenges going in as the home side resorted to form and tried a repeat of their cheating tactics from the last Dense Park encounter. Hardie, Rusty and Stanic all came in for some treatment. But with 15 minutes to go we should have scored a second after a poor Jack freekick was played back up the park by Darren to Jason - through on goal with just the backtracking keeper to beat, he ended up seeing his shot saved. Actually to be fair to Kelvin The Honorary Saintee, he had a decent game after conceding the goal not that it stopped Bobby Mann from giving him constant abuse for the second-half.

Hardie picked up a yellow card with nine minutes to go for persistent fouling and to be honest he was perhaps getting a bit too fired up in the closing stages. Scumdee were unable to create any real chances although the occasional lapses into casual play didn't help matters from our point of view. The closing stages belonged to us with a Sheerin corner (following another McCluskey foul on Stanic) finding Rustybitz but his header went over. Two minutes later the Scumdee defender repeated the offence earning himself a well-deserved booking. Sheerinho's freekick into the box was headed forward by Ryan and almost found Hardie in the 6yd box but he was unable to beat Jack to the ball. The Scumdee keeper was in the action as he attempted his Matt Glennon impersonation for the closing stages when the Scum won a corner in injury time - no repeat of last weekend though and a simple clearance kept the tinks in their place.

We fully deserved the win and should have scored more although Jack pulled off some good saves and Jason was unlucky not to score. MoM for me (assuming we can't give it to the opposition keeper) was Martin Hardie though Jason, Goran, Rusty, Fozzy and Sheridan all played well. There were some poor performances though with both Anderson and Stevenson poor over the 90 minutes.

Ach but who cares given the smiles we're all wearing tonight (just don't do it against Ingerlund Kelvin!)

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