Clyde 1 Saints 0 League Table Here
Team: Main, Irvine, Stanic, McInnes, McManus, Pamela,
Weatherston, Sheerin, Stewart, Daal, McCluskey
Subs : Cat, Peaso, Moon, Lawrie, Jackson
Broadwood has never really been that kind to Saints and for every last- ditch snatched winner there have been some absolutely honking performances in recent years. And while the performance against Scumdee hinted at the sort of entertainment we've been expecting all year, having arguably our most influential midfielder suspended for the journey to the Siberian wastelands of Cumbernauld meant that yet again Saints were up against it. The one consolation going into this was the fact that Clyde seemed to be rapidly doing an anti-Gr£tna with a journey into freefall which prior to the game saw them as the only team in the division doing a Norway with "nul points". With an inexperienced (in terms of the Scottish leagues) manager in Hendry and working under the sort of financial limitations normally only imposed on the likes of the Boyles and Marrs of the game, it meant that on paper at least, Saints looked like favourites to notch up our first win of the season. But then again there was that sequence of 3-3, 2-2, 1-1 which had some of us expecting the dire boredom of a goalless snorefest come quarter to five.
The game almost lived up to that expectation but thanks to honking defending and even worse finishing from our strikers (Geoff can probably get rid of them using the Trades Description Act to be honest) we managed to break the sequence of draws with a shambolic defeat which easily ranks amongst the worst of Owen's reign and is just as likely to be commemorated with the worst of John Connolly's spell. We were a disgrace with only one player out of the starting eleven deserving anything like pass marks. Crap football, no fight, no movement and too many players that don't look so much off form as past their sell by date. Make no mistake, unless Owen performs some major surgery before the transfer deadline the only fight we'll be involved in come the end of the season will be a relegation battle.
Changes were going to be the order of the day once more with the injury list still causing problems as James, Savo and Wullie were definite absentees while the not injured but just as absent Mad Mental Martin had to sit on the naughty step after picking up some plague when he touched a Scumdonian last week, with McCluskey starting as Sheerin moved inside. The problems didn't end there and the Groin of Goran was a wee bit strained which meant that our favourite Macedonian left-back was a doubt. But he made it though Rustybitz was left out as Pamela switched to the middle. The biggest surprise was Daal and Stewart picked to lead the line as Peaso dropped to the bench. There had been plenty of rumours of new signings during the week with Gary Irvine and Dougie Imrie apparently set to join the faithful while Dear Ole Senile Shug Keevins had been stirring things up with tales of Owen heading up the A9 to the Land of Nessie. Not that any such trivia was going to upset Saints plans for recording their first real win of the season of course but there was some hope that we'd see new signing Irvine take some part in the action and, more importantly, how his moptop hairstyle would cope with the usual howling gales that prevail round darkest Cumbernauld. The other big rumour doing the rounds of course was the sudden media speculation in Saints apparent interest in ex-Bully Wee midfielder Karim Kerkar. He wasn't in attendance while Imrie lined up for the home side.
From the start Saints still seemed to be suffering from last week's apathy. As early as the first minute Clyde were pressing Main's goal. Not that the Saints keeper was helping himself much. Imrie forced a corner but Main was nowhere. A second ball in was punched clear only to be played back in. This time Main mis-punched but luckily Goran was there to put it behind for a corner. Again the ball was punched out but at least this time it stayed out. If that was a frustrating first minute, it got worse for the travelling support a minute later. A long punt up the park actually found a yellow- shirted striker for a change and Stewart (for it was he) got into the box. A poor first touch wasn't collected by the keeper and Stewart followed up with a shot across the goal that the onrushing Jinky just failed to connect with. Unfortunately that was going to be the story of the first half as chance after chance went a-begging.
Even then the drama of the opening stages wasn't complete as Saints managed another cock-up in the 4th minute as McManus was slow to pick up a loose ball on the edge of the box and with Main rushing out like a junked up Cumbernauld ned, an opposition player sneaked in for an opportunistic chip that thankfully went wide. As in games past, Jinky seemed to be at the heart of any creativity in midfield (well at least he didn't hoof the ball up in the air every chance he got unlike most of his colleagues). He was also on the receiving end of some nasty challenges but strangely the referee rarely awarded him a freekick. Mind you when he did we had the "experienced" legs of McInnes and Sheerin to screw up our chances. For all that, we made plenty of chances but they mostly fell to the alleged strikers. "Dylan" Daal as the announcer christened him (quite appropriate given his alertness and speed was more akin to the Magic Roundabout's hippy rabbit) blew his first chance in the 13th minute when through ball let him beat the offside trap only for two pathetic girly touches to lead into the sort of soft shot that an armless, legless blind man could save. As it was the effort was only blocked by the keeper's legs but Sheerin was still there to fire the rebound straight against a defender. The resulting corner was wasted...well what else did you expect?
So it went on with McInnes wasting a freekick into the box, Daal blowing a good Jinky pass with a low cutback into a box devoid of yellow shirts while Irvine's subdued debut saw him on the end of some nasty late challenges from Clyde's Smith. No freekick for us but Dylan was warned for a non-existent use of an elbow. We at least forced Hutton into a good save after 20 minutes. A Pamela punt was flicked on by Daal to Weatherston on the wing and he tore up the park and cut in before firing in a decent shot that Hutton tipped round the post. It was almost a hunt of excitement but then Sheerin again sent the corner straight into the keeper's arms. Three minutes later, Jinky forced a corner. The ball was headed on by McManus for Daal. He controlled it beautifully in the box before blasting, no sclaffing it into the stand. Absolutely dire stuff.
Weatherston set up Sheerin a minute after that but the Wizard's lost his magic and his low drive from the edge of the box was easily gathered (the goalie didn't even have to make a save). Stewart picked up an injury after half an hour but despite being in obvious pain he elected to carry on. Clyde were getting into the game more and MacLennan had a dive under an innocuous challenge from Irvine - justice was done when the freekick went wide. But Saints weren't through with the visits from Mr Feckup for this half and seven minutes from the interval, Main somehow contrived to throw the ball in the general direction of Goran only for it to land at the feet of a Clyde striker. Ando got in for a neat foul to spare Main any further embarrassment, with Imrie sending the freekick out for a corner.
The best chance for Saints came five minutes before the break. Daal held the ball up well before releasing Weatherston down the right wing. He got to the byeline and sent a great low ball across that arrived perfectly for Jinky at the back post only for him to somehow screw his shot wide from about two yards out. You just began to get the feeling the sports desks around the country wouldn't need anything other than "St. Johnstone Nil" for the morning papers.
So to the second-half and play resumed with the same pish we'd had to endure for the first forty-five. Same old boring high balls for what has to be the smallest midfield in the league. McCluskey played a lovely ball through for Stewart three minutes into the half but the striker was fouled as he ran through. Don't even ask what happened to the freekick (give you a clue, it begins with "W" and sounds like "tasted"). We won another freekick in the 51st minute after Weatherston was fouled on the corner of the box. Sheerin tried to go for glory but his effort was comfortably held at the near post. Daal made another couple of basic errors before Owen swapped him for Jacko in the 56th minute. Not that the change had that much effect on the play. While Clyde rarely ventured forward we didn't look like we could score in a Wegie nightclub during happy hour.
The referee decided to start to annoy us as well. Anderson picked up a soft booking in the 58th minute but three minutes later McGregor escaped carding after a nasty late challenge from behind on Jackson. We had another golden chance to score in the 65th minute. A lovely one- two from a quickly taken freekick between Jinky and Sheerin allowed the Wizard to get forward before sending a low cross into the box. It fell behind Stewart but he was able to do enough to lay it back at the feet of Jackson but from 12yds out, the substitute managed to send the ball wide.
Worse was to come with Weatherston picking up an ankle knock after making a tackle. He was replaced by Mooner with Sheerin going to the left and Jinky switching flanks to the right wing. Then with twenty minutes remaining Saints decided to go for one more feck up in defence with a harmless through ball into the Saints box finding Anderson and McManus in what can only be described as a total fankle. Unable to turn or control the ball, MacLennan of Clyde nicked in and slotted the ball through the legs of a flapping Main. The worst thing was it had been coming all bloody afternoon.
The heads went down after that and no amount of touchline encouragement from Owen and Sandy made much difference. Sheerin had a cross easily held and then with 15 minutes to go we had the move that summed up the afternoon as Sheerin sent the ball through for Stewart who had split open the defence. Cue the worst bloody miskick I've ever seen with the ball going about three inches in front of him as he tried to chip the keeper allowing a defender in to take it away. Discipline was starting to go as well with McInnes picking up a daft booking for another of his wacky versions of a tackle. Peaso replaced Stewart just after that but to little real effect. We were simply looking like 11 headless chickens (well 10 and a tiring McCluskey - although Moon also looked the part when he came on).
Clyde had resorted to the age-old Broadwood tradition of timewasting. The last ten minutes were simply nightmarish. Only one chance of note in the final minute as for the rest of the time we simply continued to give the ball away far too easily, or else punt it up the park. McManus picked up the third booking of the game for persistent fouling with a late challenge on Imrie (at least it gave the wee ned a good reason to sprawl on the deck doing a dying swan impression). The final whistle went and the boos for the Saints players were fully deserved this week.
There is surprisingly a Man of the Match with McCluskey standing head and shoulders above the rest (well not literally but you know what I mean). Plenty of trickery but more importantly the ability to read the game and (stop me if this sounds too wacky), play the bloody ball along the deck. Of the rest Ando's errors were mostly forced due to being stuck on the left side of defence, Weatherston had a few good runs and Moon looked sharp when he came off the bench - at least he put McInnes to shame. It's difficult to see where we go from here - when you're sitting thinking Andy Lawrie might make a difference coming off the bench. Nobody expected the mess of a performance we witnessed today and the only slight saving grace is that Owen has a week to sort things out. I lost count of the amount of chances today (and indeed all season) where a striker has fecked up once more and you think "Jason would have got that". We denied all last year that we were a one-man show. Unfortunately that is looking more and more like wishful thinking. We have to get new blood in that will play for the jersey and show some skill. Otherwise, and I hate to think it will come to it, he might find himself more readily available for the employment opportunities elsewhere.
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| Team | P | W | D | L | F | A | Points |
| Hamilton | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 1 | 12 |
| Scumdee | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 8 | 2 | 10 |
| Morton | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 7 |
| Partick Thistle | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 8 | 4 | 7 |
| Queen of the South | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 6 | 4 |
| Dunfermline | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 4 |
| Saints | 4 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 7 | 3 |
| Stirling | 4 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 5 | 3 |
| Clyde | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 9 | 3 |
| Livingston | 4 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 | 1 |
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