Temple Of Saints - Utter Pish

Bells League Division One 23/04/2008

Stirling 3 Saints 1 League Table Here

Team : Main, Irvine, Kerr, Moon, Anderson, James, Weatherston, Savo, McBreen, Craig, Sheerin
Subs: Cuthbert, Fairbairn, Monaghan, Jacko, Peaso

Welcome to the biggest anti-climax of the season. A despondent Saints side still licking their wounds from Sunday's cruel defeat headed down the road tonight to fulfil their catch-up fixture and take on a Binos side who have never really gotten off the foot of the table all season and were pretty much relegated before the Creme Eggs had gone on sale. However, for all that there was still a lot of pride at stake and for Saints, we still needed a point to guarantee a third-place finish and the extra tuppence in prize money and bypassing of the early rounds of the cups that it entailed. And while we didn't expect the 5000 to make the journey into the valley of death (or down the A9 as some would say), there was some hope that the players who gave their all and more at the weekend would be playing in front of a healthy travelling support tonight in a game that we all expected to win.

Well so much for that bloody theory. With an atmosphere more reminiscent of a pre-season friendly and a casual attitude from the Saints players for long spells, we ended up with a spectacular dose of egg on the old face. And thanks to a rash moment from Kevin James as we conceded the second of tonight's penalties, the Saints skipper has played his last game for the club for this season. Meanwhile there are a lot of so-called experienced players out there that need to take a long look at themselves. All the good work on Sunday was undone tonight as we were brought back down to earth against a Binos side that passed the ball better, moved better and made us look like the team at the bottom of the league. You'd never have guessed that some of them out there were playing for their futures tonight. The only consolation is that the meaningless nature of the game meant there wasn't loads of Saints fans to suffer the disillusionment of watching the dire performance.

With little more than pride to play for, Del took the opportunity to start shaping his side for next season. With Rustybitz, McManus and Hardie one yellow slip away from a two-game ban and missing the 2008-09 opener (no matter who they are playing for as Chalky may have played his last game in a Saints shirt), they were never going to be risked tonight. Irvine too was only one booking off a one-match ban and Peaso was already set to risk annoying his girlfriend with a cancelled summer holiday by having his groin repaired so they were going to be a late decision. Goran and Jody were ruled out through injury as well. That meant a chance for the fringe players to prove themselves worthy of a new deal or that they could live up to their existing one. As well as birthday-boy Danny McBreen (31 today) and bench warmers Kevin James and Pamela, Del was going to give some of the younger players a chance to show what they were capable of. Steven Kerr got a chance at left-back while Adam Monaghan and Johnathon Fairbairn were on the bench. Del opted for a front trio of Savo and McBreen with Weatherston on the left side as Moon played on the right wing. The Binos unfortunately are already preparing for life back in the 2nd Division but there was no way Moorie would put our a side less than 100% committed.

The match started evenly enough with the Forthbank pitch in good nick. We carved out the first chance in the third minute when a Mooner cutback on the right was laid off by Savo for Craig but his shot went over the bar. Two minutes later and Main was called into action to deal with a Stirling cross as Kerr was thrown in at the deep end although to his credit, James was shouting him through the game. A minute after that and the Binos had a better opportunity when a ball through the middle saw Anderson make a challenge best described as girlish allowing Rodriguez into the box to try a low shot went just wide of the goal. We hit back with Weatherston getting onto the end of a good lay off and going on a run outpacing his marker and taking the ball into the box but his well-struck low drive was blocked by the keeper.

The referee wasn't long in showing his incompetence and has obviously been hurt by a blonde ex-girlfriend in the past - at least that's the impression we got going by the way he began to pick on Liam. Nine minutes gone and the first of several 50-50 decisions goes against Saints latest signing. The freekick into the box found the defence taking a well-deserved nap after their weekend exertions and an unmarked Bino sent a low cutback across the goalmouth - luckily there were no takers.

To our credit we went up the park and took the lead a couple of minutes later. A Saints freekick ended in a good move which saw Sheerin set up Ando in the box but the defender had to settle for a corner. Craig sent the ball over and there was Kevin James to stick his bonce on the end of it from about 10 yards out with a strong header past the keeper and into the net. One-nil up and it's just as well we enjoyed the moment because the shit was about to hit the fan. Craig picked up a warning for another 50-50 a minute after the restart as referee McDonald continued his anti-blonde crusade. Stirling were by no means out of it and Kerr was having a torrid time at left back as he was pulled out of position. A Binos corner was held by Main while at the other end McBreen and Sheerin played a neat one two from a goal kick before McBreen's shot from the edge of the box was held by the keeper.

There was a bit of a casual element creeping into our play though with a few too many short passes and what seemed like a lack of enthusiasm for making any challenges - perhaps understandable in the case of Irvine but the others had little cause. Just as worrying was the lack of link up play and movement up front with McBreen looking pretty much knackered by midway through the half and Weatherston suffering from a real lack of service. Stirling had another chance in the 22nd minute with a cross from the right ending in a shot over the bar. Again play went up the park and within a minute, Savo released McBreen through one-on-one with the keeper but the Aussie saw a poor effort blocked and when he was forced wide for the loose ball, the goalie again closed him down.

Five minutes later and the crappy times began. Stirling had a bit of pressure which we seemed to be dealing with relatively comfortably (not that we were doing anything too radical like playing the bloody ball out of defence or that) when another chip into the box saw Liam go up and win a header. But the Bino dropped easily and the referee pointed at the spot - I mean there are soft penalties (as we're all too aware) and soft penalties and this was as soft as a crate load of Andrex sitting on a bed of feathers. Still at least Main had had some experience of dealing with spot kicks - didn't work though and Chris Aitken slotted the penalty away to draw the home side level.

Then came one of those moments when you realise just how much bad luck you're going to have in one night. Within a minute of the restart as Saints were still all over the place, Stirling came forward again and played a defence-splitting pass through for a shot that at first seemed to be headed behind by James but the referee didn't hesitate in exercising his index finger again before following through with a flourish of a red card for the Saints skipper - he's not even vaguely blonde as well. James was applauded off the park and up stepped Aitken again and Main let in penalty number seven of the week.

Del shuffled things round with Irvine switching to centre-half and Mooner dropping to right-back, but Saints looked pretty lost and lacked some real leadership on the park with a disjointed outfield ten struggling to get any flow into their game. Ten minutes from the interval we did win a freekick on the edge of the box after some good build-up play ended with a McBreen cross for Savo who passed it out to Mooner at the edge of the area who was up-ended. Craig took the freekick and although his curler rounded the wall nicely, the lack of ability to stick to the laws of gravity saw it soar over the home goal. Defensively we were still a mess and the dreams of the holiday beaches were still apparent given some of the sand-dancing in the Saints tackling. Sheerin was the next culprit in the 40th minute with a fresh-air tackle allowing a low shot for Albion which luckily was deflected off Ando for a corner. Two minutes later the home side came close to increasing their lead as a low cross from the left this time wasn't cleared and beat everyone before trundling along the goal line. A minute later another cross saw them head the ball over the bar and the half was rounded off with an Irvine defensive clearance over his own crossbar (coming close to going in) for another corner. Main pulled off a good save at the near post to deflect it round for a second corner which ended with another shot over the bar. It wasn't pretty viewing.

Del made his first change at the interval with Jacko replacing Savo. A strange one in my opinion since being down a man we needed more mobility up front and Savo had enjoyed a good first half while McBreen lacked the sharpness or pace we really needed to break down the Binos defence. Still Danny managed to pounce on a loose clearance from the Binos keeper two minutes after the restart before laying the ball off for Craig but his shot was blocked. Another move forward just after that saw Danny flick the ball on for Jacko and Weatherston to chase and that ended with the Binos keeper coming out of his box for some blatant handling - ignored by the ref and his linesman and infuriating the Saints fans.

Stirling soon showed they weren't out of it and put the makeshift Saints defence under pressure. A great cross five minutes into the half ended in a header out which landed kindly for Aitken but his shot was blocked by Ando for a corner. The Binos skipper tried his luck from a longer distance a couple of minutes later but Main got down to eventually hold it. We just didn't seem capable of winning the ball or holding onto it or passing it or moving to get to it or play any sort of bloody football at all. Another Stirling corner saw Moon end up being bundled off the ball and Main do well to tip the resulting shot wide, while all we had to offer was a Craig freekick after Kerr was fouled which ended up with Ando penalised for challenging the keeper which if nothing else typified the referee's petty performance. Jacko had a decent run and linked with Craig who set up Weatherston on the left and he played a great cross over in the 58th minute which found McBreen who saw his header tipped over the bar. Ando headed the resulting corner behind. Sheerin won a loose ball next releasing Jacko for a run and shot that went just wide of the goal.

Sheerin turned provider again in the 65th minute with a good ball out to the right for Davie but his run into the box ended in an angled shot just wide of target. Two minutes after that and we had a good claim for a penalty turned down as a Kerr cross (the youngster looking more effective going forward) found a Binos defender climbing all over McBreen to clear the danger. The ball still broke for Sheerin but despite doing well to make room the final shot was another attempt at putting a ball into space.

So you just knew what was coming and so 20 minutes from time the ten men conceded a third - although in truth it only took three of us. A throw-in up the right wing was dealt with by Ando and squared back to Main. Stirling closed him down so instead of a sensible hoof up the park he played it out to Mooner on the edge of the box. He was crowded out as well and managed to lose the ball allowing Rodriguez into the area to round Main and tap home the third for Stirling. Mooner had his head in his hands but in his defence his teammates were nowhere to be found to give him an option and Main didn't make his best decision of the night in passing it to him instead of clearing it.

That effectively killed us off although we still chased some consolation. Craig put a good ball over that McBreen knocked down for Mooner in the 74th minute and the youngster played it back into the box for Danny but his 10yard shot went wide of goal. Stirling went straight up the park and Main did well to block a shot despite the home player being a mile off. Craig tried his luck from distance next but his decent shot was easily held.

McBreen was replaced by Jacko for the last ten minutes but to little effect. A couple of Saints freekicks were totally wasted and five minutes from the end Jacko had to be replaced as he received some treatment on the touchline for a knock - Monaghan came on to replace him moving to right back as Mooner went up the park. Peaso had a low effort held a couple of minutes from the end while Ando managed to get in the way of Aitken's shot preventing his hat-trick. The last chance fell to us in injury time with a handball leading to a Craig freekick but he hit it too hard and too long for Davey to reach and the ball went straight out - summed up the evening.

Plus points are pretty few and far between I'm afraid. Main made some good saves and Craig (my MoM), Savo and Sheerin played ok while Weatherston had some good runs. Kerr's debut was a tough one in the end and he was caught out of position a few times but still managed to show some nice touches. As for McBreen, I'm afraid I don't think he'll be a benefit to us long-term. He was still way short of match fitness tonight but even then he showed a lack of fight and movement that we needed when we went down to ten men, and his strength in winning headers was also missing.

Back to the drawing board for the weekend but Saints owe us another big display after tonight's pish

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