Temple Of Saints - Kavens Krissy Klanger

Scottish Premier League - 19/12/98

Hacking Buckfast Quaffers 1 St Roddys Sexy Stars 2 League Table Here

Team :: Main,Griffin,McQuillan,Dods,Kernaghan,Dasovic,O'Neil,McMahon, Kane,Paddy,Nathan
Subs :: Legend,McCulloch,McAnespie,Simao,Robertson

Maybe there is a God after all. With the way recent form has been for St. Sandy's Sexy Saints, and given our traditional luck when in Wegieland and faced with a ref of Mr Willie 'not the mason' Young's total incompetence combined with the number of Saints superstars that did a Blue Peter tortoise and went into their winter shutdown early we should have lost this match. But then we have our own Divine force in the shape of Legend.

McMahon made the starting line-up but Phizzy was ruled out with injury problems. The suspension of Blaster Bollan meant that St. Sandy moved McQ to the left-back slot and brought Danny-boy in on the opposite flank. Paddy Thingy and Kid Goals kept the striker berths. From the start though the game was a scrappy affair not helped by the tendency for Young to blow his whistle at every opportunity - obviously the word 'advantage' is not taught as part of the vocabulary in the Clarkston education system.

Saints made few chances in the opening 20 minutes and it was Well who looked the more dangerous - helped along by the obvious weakness at left back with 'One-Foot' McQ and Father Dougal and Darren suffering from an attack of colour blindness which made it impossible for them to pick out a blue shirt when passing the ball. The midfield was to put it mildly non-existent and when Dasovic and Kane did appear they never moved over the halfway line. Christ even Main was playing shite. However we did start to put the odd pass together and McMahon came close with a shot from the edge of the box. Nathan wasnt on top form but did win his share of headers with the Well defensive thugs (elbows a speciality). Paddy Thingummy was running his arse off to little effect mainly thanks to the total lack of support from midfield. He did come close with a well-worked free kick from the edge of the box (another one from the St Sandy Training School Repertoire) but the shot was easily gathered.

Of course as usual that was the signal for Cowans Cowpats to break up the field. A panicky clearance from Darren saw them win a corner and the inevitable happened. Despite plenty of Saints shirts the jumping boots remained switched off and when the corner was headed back across goal Adams had an easy finish. Easily as crap a goal to lose as the one against the Jambos 10 days ago.

Still it did give the kick up the arse to the boys that they so badly needed. And 5 minutes later we were equal after a low drive from Paddy Connolly (told you I'd remember his name eventually) beat Kaven in the Well goal. Saints started to take control now and a Dods corner header came close, whilst at the other end Danny and McQ decided to do the odd bit of defending for a change.

Second half saw Saints push forward but Well had the best chance to equalise when Mason Young gave them a soft penalty after a McQ challenge in the box despite the ball being nowhere near the players. Still He was on our side today so it was decided to let Owen Coyle take the kick and suffice to say that if the Fir Park stand hadn't stopped the ball it would be knocking Cruise missiles out over Iraq by now.

This seemed to be the spark to get Saints into real action. St. Sandy put on Legend for the yellow-carded Nathan and he made a difference straight away. Combining well with both Paddy and Del who moved to the wings, Roddy started to turn on the skill. Paddy and Del both had good chances but Well were defending a packed penalty box.

Still the piece of magic was there. A run on the right wing saw the ball fed back to McMahon who sent a fierce drive goalwards. Kaven the pseudo-Saintee in the Well goal failed to catch it and the Legend was there to stretch out and hit the ball home to send the large away support mental, silence the home crowd and earn Stuart Cosgrove 100 quid form Cowan the Cowpat.

After that Saints should have added to their tally. In one of their best moves, Del and Roddy combined to impersonate Ronaldo and co and take the piss out of the Well defence before cutting the ball back to Kane whose shot narrowly went over the bar.

The Saints defence still had plenty of work to do tho and Main made an excellent save from a McMillan long-range effort, whilst Dods and Kernaghan were kept busy. Paddy was replaced by Keyring towards the end and Mr Young somehow managed to find about 3 hours of injury time despite no physio having crossed the touchline all afternoon, but he couldn't defeat the Divine Force that is the Legend and Saints ran out worthy (eventually) winners.

Bookings for McQ, Danny and Nathan. MoM for me was the Legend although mention for Danny who had a good game at right-back. Having said that McQ makes a shite left-back.

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