Temple Of Saints - First Half of the Double

Scottish Premier League - 04/04/99

Sky-Dazzling Saints 3 TFOD-about-to-be-in-crisis 1 League Table Here

Team :: Jesus,Weir,Blaster,Forrest Gump,Father Dougal,Dassa,Pope, Kano,O'Halloran,Legend,Keyring
Subs :: Lowndes,Eusebio,Il Biscotti,Danny,Dolph

Another Sunday night on Sky against the massed hordes of bigoted Wegie Scum who can't see past their own wee battles. Ah but tonight is different since for a change Saints decided to put on their footballing gear instead of the usual stagefright outfits. Yup this was the long-awaited glorious victory over TFOD live on Sky and there for all the world to see. And we did it with several key players missing from the starting line-up - Georgio, Del, Preston etc. If Senile Shug of the Sunday Mason thinks we're box office flops, I reckon we've just turned his darling TFOD into the Titanic.

With McQ suspended Capn Jim returned to the first team at right back. The other change was for St. Sandy to drop Gerry and bring in U-21 star Keyring to play on the left wing. From the start we put TFOD under some pressure forcing a series of corners and allowing the Legend to take the piss out of Lorenzo Craporuso and Craig 'Stepping Stone' Moore.

Of course with the TV cameras in attendance it wasn't long before the Bonkle Bogie (Mr Dallas to the rest) got in on the act with a booking for Kano after 5 minutes for a challenge on Vidmar, despite Wallace getting away with a dangerously high tackle just before that.

14 minutes into the game and Craporuso brings down the Legend at the corner of the box. Up steps the Corner King Keyring to take the free-kick - sends a cross deep into the penalty box for Cap'n Jim to show he's back with a well-aimed header past Klos' left to make it 1-0. Suffice to say that the celebration from the fans favourite once the ball was in the net showed just how dedicated he is to the club.

So with the Rool Britanya (Govan spelling) hordes silenced it was time for the defence to show their skills with Jesus making a couple of world-class saves (miles better than any Cockney would anyway - are you listening Pa Broon?). At the other end Saints had a free kick on the edge of the box that almost ended up in a second for the home side after Kane saw his lob go narrowly wide. Then Legend and Pope broke through under a high ball. The ball broke to Legend in the box but the shot reflected his tiring limbs as Klos saved.

On to the second-half and it was time for TFOD to put us under pressure. The Hun Hun had a couple of efforts and their Finnish striker didn't when Andrei the bread-queuer set him up with a simple chance. Saints were pretty well under the kosh at this time and were defending far too deeply to make any counter-attacks. Of course we were punished on the hour when Dods was booked. The Scumdee tink McCann took the free kick which was deflected off Kane apparently (although it seemed to go straight out to most of us).

From the corner the Bread-Queuer sent a cross deep into the box. Vidmar the diver headed back (and got a boot in the face from Blaster for his trouble) and Stepping Stone Moore headed in the equaliser. Strangely enough Mr Dallas didn't book the Aussie for then leaving the field of play and mingling with his bigoted pals as he celebrated. Yellow card I would have thought?

As we began to think it might all turn sour, St. Sandy pulled his Easter Bunny out of the hat as he sent on Miguel for Pope (who didn't look 100% tonight). Saints fight back and Vidmar the diver becomes Vidmar the pusher (no surprise in Govan then) in 73 minutes as he dumps Keyring on the ground. Another free-kick which Keyring takes and sends deep. Dasovic heads it down and the Legend takes it to the byeline before cutting back across the goalmouth looking for a waiting miracle. Which he found in the shape of the Belly-Button of Miguel which the Portuguese God used to divert the ball into the net to make it 2-1. Classic.

After that Saints were put under more pressure but TFOD seemed to be struggling to come from behind a second time. St. Sandy put on Nathan and Danny for Chief and Legend. Despite that the closing minutes saw TFOD get a series of corners and some last-ditch defending from Saints with Dods and Father Dougal both immense.

Still when Stuart the Saintee-Hater as 4th official held up the 3 minutes flashing board to ensure that another goal would come we didn't really expect it to come from Saints. But tonight was a night of joy - 3 minutes into injury time and with the TFOD scum fans so confident of an equaliser that hardly any had left, the ball broke out of the Saints defence to Miguel. With only Craporuso in defence the Belly-Button ran forth to smite the bigots. But in a Saintly gesture he passed to the supporting Keyring on the edge of the box to allow the latter to get a well-deserved goal as he sent a low drive part the Hun Hun in goal.

'Easy, Easy, Easy' was the chant as the TFOD scum left.

No more action after that as Dallas realised that Saints were simply immortal tonight. MoM for me was Main - several excellent saves, despite looking dodgy at their solitary goal (oh how that makes me smile). But the whole team can be proud of their performance - any weak links technically were more than made up for by effort and (to be Judasesque for a moment) workrate. As for St. Sandy - thats the last Totten/Judas hurdle beaten - now we want the Cup.

This report is politely dedicated to those TFOD supporters who in between singing their religious tripe on entry to McD were heard to be muttering about settling for 'only scoring 3 or 5 tonight'. Get it right up you ya shell-suited bigots.

A further dedication to Senile Keevins. We're comin to get you !!

Remember to vote on todays ref Hugh Dallas (Bonkle) - send marks out of 10 to refvote@grange.demon.co.uk

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