The 2000 TOSSA AWARDS

Welcome to theYear 2000 Temple Of Saints Survey Awards (TOSSAs). Now in their 3rd year and voted on by the Saints mailing list and via this Web Site, the results below represents their views on how Saints "greatest" ever season looked. If you can be bothered previous awards can be found here for 1997-98 and here for 1998-99.

The nominations are divided into 5 categories The Season, Europe (new for 2000 only), The Players, The Cult Heroes (new for 2000), The Media, Off The Park (new for 2000)and finally The Future. Many thanks to everyone that caused me loads of work totalling the scores by taking the time to vote. As usual there are some surprises (though not as many as last year) and some shall we say weird people out there. Right tuxedo on and it's on with the show.......


The Season

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...


(1999 TOSSA in brackets)

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "1997 New Year's Day Commemorative Gubbing" Award for Best Home Performance

Medal 55 3-3 Draw with Monaco
(32 Votes)
(3-1 win over Rangers)
With no win over the OF this year it's not really surprising that the award goes to the preservation of the unbeaten record and the 5 minutes when we thought we'd put the French millionaires out.
Runner up was the 2-1 win over Scumdee with 8 votes and the 2-0 win over the Arabs with 4. Others mentioned included the wins over Vaasa, Aberdeen and Killie and the 1-1 draw with Rangers.
Medal

The "Any Trip to Dens Park" Award for Best Away Performance

Medal 55 0-3 v Monaco
(12 Votes)
(3-0 Win v Hearts (League Cup))
A bit closer this one but the trip to the South of France won through unlike Saints on the night (though who can forget seeing a 0-0 scoreboard at half-time).
Joint runners up were the 0-0 draw at Ibrox and the 3-0 win at Pittodrie in September. Other votes came in for the 3-3 draw with Hibs, the Vaasa away leg and the wins at Killie, Dens and Tannadice.
Medal

The "Let's Ban Sky" Award for Worst Home Performance

Medal 55 0-0 draw with Killie
(15 Votes)
(7-0 Defeat to the Forces Of Darkness)
Arguably the worst SPL game ever the drab draw in March edging it by one vote over the opening day 4-1 slaughter by the Jambos.
Third place was the Scumdee 1-0 defeat whilst other votes went to the Arabs defeat, the 2-0 Rangers debacle in April and the Celtic win-that-never-was with one vote for "Any defeat".
Medal

The "Ochilview" Award for Worst Away Performance

Medal 55 1-2 defeat v Motherwell
(11 Votes)
(5-0 defeat v Sellik)
Bit of a mixed bag this one but the boys throwing the game away in April when Jones was sent off was a clear winner.
Second place went to the other defeat to Motherwell whilst other votes went to the Parkhead games, the first Ibrox match and the defeats by Aberdeen and United.
Oh yes one vote for "Any defeat" and one for the supporters loss to Erin Hibs!!
Medal

The "Who Needs a Striker Now?" Certificate for Goal of the Season

Medal 55 Bollan's long-ranger v Dundee
(34 Votes)
(Georgios Half-Way Line Lob v. Motherwell)
Way ahead of anyone else Bo-Bo's 40-yd opener against Scumdee in the 2-1 win was the clear favourite.
2nd place went to Jones for the Sportscene Goal of the Season v Motherwell but that had 4 votes.
Others mentioned were Marc Millars v Dundee, Nathans in Vaasa, Jones volley at Easter Rd, Danny's free kick against the Arabs, Keyring's free kick at Easter Rd and "the 1st one at home to Monaco for giving me hope". I remember those days as well !!
Medal

The "Craig Brown Selection" Medallion for Save of the Season

Medal 55 Main in Monaco
(18 Votes)
(Alan Main v Dundee 23/05/99)
Most people didn't vote for specific saves but more for the performance so Alan wins through for the game of his life..well until the sky caved in, with Baldy Barthez even praising him.
2nd place not surprisingly went to Robbos 2nd half performance at Ibrox in the 0-0 draw with 9 votes.
Others mentioned were Mains save from Durie in the Scottish Cup game, Robbos at Rugby Park and Mains penalty save from TFOD.
Medal

The "Gerry McMahon Injury" Scroll for Biggest Disappointment of the Season

Medal 55 Rotten Cup Runs
(8 Votes)
(Losing the League Cup Final)
So many different votes but the crap cup runs after the joys of 1998-99 won through...unlike Saints.
Other votes went to (deep breath), Lack of Sexy Football, too short a Euro run, Moaners, Not scoring in Monaco, the clubs attitude at the 2nd Rangers game, Miguel and Gerry, Contract Disputes, Failing to score against 9-man TFOE, losing to the sheep / arabs, Pope. Perhaps to bring it into perspective there were 3 votes for "The end of Biscuits career".
Medal

The "Makes It All Worthwhile" Award for Most Satisfying Moment or Event

Medal 55 Putting 3 past Barthez
(9 Votes)
(Europe!!!)
The home match of the season wins through with Baldy left with oeuf on his face after we did what Italy couldnt.
Elsewhere in a disappointing season there was a lot to be happy about. 2nd place went to the "March to the ground in Vaasa" with 5 votes (something the 200 or so of us that were there will always remember).
3rd went to finishing above both Scumdee teams then other votes came in for Chiefs penalty kick, finishing 5th after a bad season, Shutting up the moaners at Easter Rd, beating Dundee at home in the last minute, Roddys testimonial, kick-off in Monaco, half-time in Monaco etc etc.
Medal

The "Better Than The Pub" Award for Team Giving Most Entertainment Value

Medal 55 Monaco
(17 Votes)
(Kilmarnock)
Again no contest this with the Euro giants winning easily. 2nd were TFOD with 12 votes then Aberdeen with 9 and Hibs with 7 (the latter more due to our results against them).
Other votes were for Dundee, Sellik and Vaasa.
Medal

The "Boghead Drainage System" Memorial Award for Best Away Ground

Medal 55 Stade Louis in Monaco
(17 Votes)
(Celtic Park)
As above this was an easy winner with anyone that made the trip realising the difference in quality in the grounds.
2nd place went to Rugby Park with 9 votes (probably due to the atmosphere on the last day), then Parkhead with 8. Other votes went to East Stirling, Vaasa, Aberdeen, Brockville, Motherwell, Tynecastle, Ibrox and Dens.
Medal

The "OF Domination" Plaque for the Best Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 55 Caley beating Celtic
(9 Votes)
(Saints Qualify For Europe)
Plenty to pick from but the laugh we had at another Sellik in Crisis period won through.
2nd place went jointly to Saints being in Europe (well the coefficient did go up) and the increase in league sizes.
Others mentioned included Falkirk not being promoted, beating England 1-0, the Sellik bouncer v Keevins, St. Mirren getting promoted, Barnes getting the sack, Jocky Scott getting the sack and Saints signing Tommy.
Medal

The "Sacking of Totten AntiChrist" Award for the Worst Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 55 OF Domination of League
(13 Votes)
(Dundee Utd. Staying Up)
Not surprisingly the gap between the OF and the rest isn't viewed as a good thing in Sainteeland.
2nd place went to Aberdeen staying up whilst others voted for included Biscuits career ending, OF Bigotry, the league split next year, the Pars getting promoted, no relegation from SPL, losing to England and Judas keeping his job.
Medal

The "Embassy Regal / Roddy Grant" Award for the Most Saintee-esque Moment of the Season

Medal 55 Saints making an Arse of the Rangers game
(5 Votes)
(O'Neils penalty miss at Ibrox)
Another wide selection of topics but the cock-up in April by the club/polis/stewards wins by one vote from "the way we went out of Europe".
Elsewhere there are mentions for Dallas awarding the Sellik goal, getting Rangers in the cup, losing a last-minute goal at Easter Rd, cheering for a trialist at Roddys testimonial, O'Malleys bar, getting gubbed on the opening day and the moaners at Easter Rd and about 20 other subjects.
Medal

The "Rolf Harris" Grammy for Song/Chant of the season

Medal 54 'Tax dodging bastards'
(10 Votes)
(We Hate Dundee)
The remixed classic as sung in Monte Carlo wins easily.
2nd place was the "Dundee Family" as sung at Rugby Park with 8 votes and 3rd "We can smell you over here" with 5.
Others mentioned were "Sit down if you hate" as sung in Vaasa in the street, "Wheres yer Lubo Gone", "Happy Birthday Roddy".
Funniest mentions to "We're not moaning any more" as sung at Easter Rd, "We hate Dundee" as sung by 2 Finnish girls in a burger bar in Vaasa and "I'm Horny..." as sung in Vaasa town square. Aah memories.
Medal

The "Penalty At Ibrox Miracle" Award for Best Ref of the Season

Medal 55 John Rowbotham
(11 Votes)
(Hugh Dallas)
Wins it by a single vote from Mr Dallas although a certain non-goal award from the latter probably scuppered his chances. 3rd place went to Willie Young with 9 votes and others mentioned included Jim McCluskey, Vaasa home leg, Mike McCurry, Tom Brown and Stuart Dougal (he must be getting better).
Medal

The "Aw no him" Award for Worst Ref of the Season

Medal 55 Stuart Dougal
(12 Votes)
(Stuart Dougal)
...or not as he retains his title after some dire work over the season by one vote from Shuggy Dallas.
Other votes went to Kenny Clark, Willie Young, Jim McCluskey, Mike McCurry amongst many others with a solitary vote to "All Wegie Refs".
Medal

The "Fergus hates Farry" Medal for Most Loathed Person / Institution of the Season

Medal 55 Rangers F.C.
(8 Votes)
(Paul "Judas" Sturrock)
The Football Club themselves win by one vote from their fans in 2nd place - an opinion probably galvanised by the events in April.
It also showed through in the rest of the votes in this category with Stewart Duff picking up 4 votes, Rock Steady 3 and Tayside Police 2.
Other big votes went to Celtic, OF Bigots, Dundee FC, Neil McCann, Bobby Gunn, Scotsport and Keevins with the majority of names mentioned having something to do with that media-loved Wegie institution.
Still there were some weird votes with the Marr Brothers picking up one for their treatement of Jocky Scott (aren't we sporting) and a solitary vote for Sandy Clark.
Medal

The "Chic Young Loves Me" Survey for SuperSaint

Medal 55 Good (44 Votes )
Bad (11 Votes )
Well maybe the club is getting something right after all as Saints own super-mascot receives a good response in his debut season. But will he be able to kick the shit out of Chic the Pric when the BBCs own mascot-hater comes to town next year?

Europe (we'll be back !!!)

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "Where the hell is that?" Survey of Vaasa Voyagers

Medal 55 Yes (18 Votes )
No (37 Votes )
Well a fair proportion of voters made the trip and I can say that for those of us that were there Finland will never seem the same again. How strong do you want your beer sir?
Medal

The "Where's Me Passport" Survey of Monaco Gamblers

Medal 55 Yes (31 Votes )
No (24 Votes )
Not surprisingly the numbers went up when we got a classier side and the prospect of a few days amongst the millionaires in the sun.
Medal

The "It's no as good as Ochilview" Medal for the favourite place.

Medal 33 Vaasa (14 Votes )
Monaco (19 Votes )
OK so the voting was a bit weird on this with people saying Monaco was their favourite despite not having the experience of Finland. Of the people who made both trips the majority plumped for Vaasa with the more intimate atmosphere gaining the plaudits.
Medal

The "Sun, Sand and Sex" List of the Top 3 favourite memories

Medal 129 Scoring 3 v Monaco
(13 Votes )
Atmosphere in the Stade Louis
(11 Votes )
March to Vaasa Ground
(10 Votes )
Votes for both home and away legs made and each was counted as one vote. Fairly close though with everyone having their own memories of what they call the "UEFA Experience", with the bigger game winning more votes.
Others mentioned included: O'Malleys Bar, Mains performance in Monaco, Weir leading the team out at McDiarmid, 9000 crowd for the Vaasa game, Canton square before the Monaco game, Vaasa girls, French girls, Drink, Vaasa town square, Seeing the board get pissed in O'Malleys.
There was one vote for "Going somewhere where every 2nd top wasn't an OF one" and one which sums it all up "Just being there".
Medal

The "Shits, Pikes and Hangovers" List of the Top 3 Disappointments

Medal 109 Losing 3 in Monaco
(20 Votes )
Too Short a Run in Europe
(13 Votes )
Prices to get There
(10 Votes )
Not surprisingly the undeserved winning marging for Baldys Boys wins easily with the abrupt end to the whole experience and the cost of it all 2nd and 3rd.
Others listed were only drawing with Vaasa away, 5pm kick-off for the home leg, Too many anti-Dundee songs, lack of media coverage, French police, Hangovers, Monaco fans, lack of partying time in Finland, Clubs handling of it all, Monaco getting the draw in Perth and Miguels miss when it was 0-0.
Weirdest vote went to "Dodgy hairdryers in Hotel rooms" whilst 6 went for "Nothing it was all brilliant".
Medal

The "Mickey Mouse Tournament" Choice of entering the Intertoto Cup

Medal 55 Yes (28 Votes )
No (27 Votes )
Surprisingly close this one but perhaps we're just being generous and letting the players have a wee break. Either that or our bank balances !!!

The Players

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "John Brogan Memorial" Award for Best Saints Player This Season

Medal 55 Danny Griffin
Danny Griffin

(17 Votes)
(John O'Neil)
Well a clear winner for the central defender who may or may not hang around for next season.
2nd place went to Keith O'Halloran with 10 votes which makes it all the worse that the player still isn't round but is a tribute to his form for the entire season.
3rd was Gary Bollan with 8 votes - another who played most of the season.
Others mentioned were Kane and Weir (5 each), Nathan(4), Del (3) and Main(2). Not as big a range as expected.
Medal

The "Andy Brannigan Understudy" Award for Worst Saints Player This Season

Medal 55 Gerry McMahon
Gerry McMahon

(20 Votes)
(Gerry McMahon)
Another clear winner with twice the 2nd place vote and Gerry retains the unfortunate title for a 2nd year. Still he's away now and we'll need a new target next year.
2nd was John McQuillan with 10 votes - a poor season ending in him heading for Arabland and own goals.
Others mentioned were Frail (7 votes), Pope, Miguel and Jones (3 each), Kane (2) and a single vote for Georgio, Dods , O'Halloran and Keyring.
Medal

The "Vinny Arkins £5m In A Few Years" Award for the Most Improved Saints Player This Season

Medal 55 Chief
Keith O'Halloran

(26 Votes)
(John O'Neil)
Another clear winner with Chiefs improvement over the season (despite the lack of goals) and versatility winning over some fans. Didn't stop him leaving though.
2nd was shared between Robbo and Parker with 9 votes each.
Others mentioned were Lowndes (4), Bollan and Pope (2 each) and McCulloch and Paddy Thing with one apiece.
Medal

The "Fat Keepers Memorial Rolex" Award for the Best Ambassador for the Club

Medal 55 Capn Jim
Jim Weir
(22 Votes)
(Jim Weir)
3rd year in a row for the club captain who put in some excellent performances in defence.
2nd place went to Roddy Grant with 13 votes.
Others mentioned were St. Sandy and Main (4 each), Danny and Geoff (2 each) and one apiece for Parker, Kane, Kernaghan, Dasovic and Del. I wonder if the votes would be different given the want-away stories in the press over the summer?
Medal

The "Marble Staircase Story Revisited (Again)" Award for the Biggest Embarrassment for Saints

Medal 55 Gerry McMahon
Gerry McMahon

(15 Votes)
(Paddy Connolly)
2nd award of the year for the now-departed Gerry and reflects the disappointment of the fans in the form of the £80,000 signing.
2nd place went to Stewart Duff (10 votes) with the Rangers debacle still fresh in the minds of the fans (more on that later)
Others mentioned were McQuillan and Miguel (6 each), Frail (5), Thomas (3), Paddy (2) and one each for Jones, Dods, the OF Ticket Fiasco and Tommy Lovenkrands (although this is probably more of the clubs handling of it all). Finally one vote for "None". Someone easily pleased then..
Medal

The "I Cant Be Bothered Typing Dinos Name Out In the Match Reports" Award for the Best Nickname of the Season

Medal 55 Nosey !!
Kiegan "Nosey" Parker
(8 Votes)
(Darren "Forrest Gump" Dods)
Plenty to pick from this year with some new favourites and Kiegan getting the award by one vote from Pope McBride in 2nd
Others mentioned included Marco the Vs (4), Forrest Gump (4), Corporal Jones(3), Shite (1) - apparently thats Stephen Frail !!, Goalden Graeme (2), Cartman (1), TrezeGrant (1), Meesiah (5), Legend (2) and funniest of all "Oor Wullie" Simone for one of our dear Monaco opponents.
Medal

The "Chirpy Cheeky Chick Charnley Red Card" Award for the Funniest Moment of the Season

Medal 53 Moravcik getting sent off
(9 Votes)
(St Sandy "Where's that f**king wanker Keevins")
Nobody really knows what went on in the dressing room but the red card of the season gets the vote for providing most laughs (not much else did that afternoon).
A wide range of other votes though including :
Watching Scumdee fans when we won 2-1 at home, Neil McCann kicking the corner flag, McQullans form since he left, Miguels golden handshake demands, Wiggys hairpiece, Barnes sacking, Caley Thistles win in the cup, Sandy Clarks fight with Billy Davies.
One vote as well for "Stewart Duffs letter to the fans after the Rangers game". Make of that what you will.
Medal

The "Fererro Rocher 'With These Players You Are Spoiling Us" Award for the Ideal Saints Side

Medal 55 Main, Chief, Blaster, Danny, Jimbo, Del, Dasovic,Kano, Lowndes, Parker, Tommy Lovenkrands
(Main, McQuillan, Bollan, Dasovic, Dods, Kernaghan, Keyring, Kane, O'Neil, Nathan, Miguel)
Well for once there was a clear winner with 5 going for the same eleven players (although some went 4-4-2 and some 3-4-3).
Other variations had Robbo in goal, Danny at right-back, Kernaghan in defence, Pope, Millar, Lauchlan in midfield and Jones, Thomas, Paddy, Georgio, Roddy up front.
Given most votes were in before Tommy signed it possibly shows the high hopes we have for him. Good to see Parker getting some credit as well.
Weirder votes were for "Any of them" and "Any team that plays sexy football". Hopefully we'll get our wish next season.
Medal

The "Almost fit to lace Roddy's boots" Medallion for Best non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 53 Billy Dodds
(9 Votes)
(Henrik Larsson)
Billy the Whiz takes over from twice-winner Henprick although Larsson was 2nd with 7 votes (along with Verukka)
Others mentioned included Mols, Kenny Miller, Barry Ferguson, Twaddle, Van Bronkhurts, Sauzee, Latapy, Numan and Moravprick amongst others.
Strangest vote went to Kenny Dalglish !!!
Medal

The "Oleg Salenko" Medallion for Worst non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 55 Barry "Overrated Twat" Ferguson
(7 Votes)
(Alex Mathie)
Much bigger range but Barry (with his middle name thoughtfully provided by one voter) wins through. Not sure why but the club probably has something to do with it.
2nd was Rab the Scab Douglas with 4 votes and 3rd Darren Jackson with 3.
Others mentioned amongst loads of names) included all the Aberdeen defence in one form or another, McSwegan, McQuillan, Lee Wilkie, Grady, Billy Dods, Leighton, "Anyone in an Arab top" and weirdest of all "Keevins"?
Medal

The "Geoff Brown Bonus Scheme" Scroll of Contract Renewals

Medal n/a
Player Keep Dump
O'Neil 34 5
McMahon 5 33
Connolly 8 16
O'Halloran 23 6
Ferguson 13 9
Griffin 35 3
Kernaghan 15 10
Lowndes 15 4
Millar 13 8
McAnespie 17 10
Robertson 17 5
Restricted to those who specified one or more player there are some interesting votes.
Del, Gerry, Keith and Danny are the ones that generated most opinions for different reasons.
Elsewhere opinions were mixed. Paddy was the only other negative although Kernaghan and McAnespie generated some Dump votes as well.
Possibly more interesting is the number of people who aren't really bothered if the players stay. Whether it's because we don't rate them or are of the mind that St. Sandy can get as good under Bosman etc is open to debate.

Cult Heroes +Those Who Left

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

Legend
Favourite Roddy Moment

Medal 55 Scoring v Airdrie in 1990
(12 Votes)
Plenty of memories both on and off the park for the Legend which reflects how long he was at the club, but the performance in the 3-1 win in the 1989-90 Championship season won through.
2nd place was the volley v Falkirk in 1997's 4-1 win at Brockville and 3rd the fans singing "Happy Birthday" in Monaco.
Others mentioned included getting red-carded for fisting the ball into the net in the Sellik league cup tie, appearing on Sportscene with Biscuits on the jobshare, his testimonial penalty, smoking a fag on the balcony at Monaco, and the goals in the 5-0 Aberdeen win and the 3-2 win at Tynecastle in 1990.
There was also 1 vote for scoring for Partick v Saints (when Hermann got the sack) and one vote which sums it all up - "Too many".
Medal

Biscuits
Favourite Biscuits Moment

Medal 55 League Cup Semi-Final goal v Hearts
(46 Votes)
What can I say? He'll be sadly missed on and off the park at the club but one wonder-strike will bring a smile to the face of Saintees everywhere when we remember it.
Only 3 others mentioned. His solo goal v Accies got 5 votes, the appearance on Sportscene got 1 and there were 3 votes for the Biscuits for Scotland campaign.
Medal

McQ
Favourite McQuillan Moment

Medal 55 Can't think of one
(20 Votes)
Hmm what do I say. He wasn't a real cult hero and didn't stand out in many games but his departure has brought out a lot of bitter feelingstowards the Arab.
2nd place with 9 votes was "Getting rid of him" and 3rd with 8 was the 40-yarder he scored against Dundee Utd.
Other minor votes included his goal v the Pars 2 years ago and his own goal in his first Utd match. Bitter us? Never.
Medal

Miguel
Favourite Miguel Moment

Medal 53 Scoring 2 v Vaasa
(13 Votes)
Only with us for around 18 months but plenty of memories from the Portuguese hitman with the UEFA home leg the most memorable.
2nd place was the start of the "Oh Miguel" celebration against Sellik.
Others mentioned included setting up Keyring for the last goal in the 3-1 win over Rangers, scoring against Rangers this season and scoring with his belly against Sellik.
Stranger nominations included "Staying on his feet for 10 minutes", "In the bogs at 'That Bar'" adn in a non-bitter way "Forgotten him already".
Medal

The County Sports Home Strip NameCheck for the Cult Hero of 1999/2000

Medal 55 Keith O'Halloran
Keith O'Halloran
(17 Votes)
Well he's away now but if he's stayed there might have been an abundance of tops bearing the name of the player who came from being shite last year to earn the affection of the fans.
2nd place was another departee in Roddy Grant with 11 votes.
Others named included Bollan (7), Weir (5), Lowndes (4), Dods (2), Jones (2), Lauchlan, Parker, Robbo and strangest of all Tommy Lovenkrands with one apiece.
Medal

The East Stand Moaners Selection for Cult Hero of 2000/2001

Medal 55 Tommy Lovenkrands
Tommy Lovenkrands
(18 Votes)
Well given that there were a lot of votes in early it's a sign of the impact that the signing of Tommy made that he won with a massive late surge in the vote.
2nd place went to O'Halloran with 8 votes and 3rd was Kiegan with 7.
Others mentioned included Pope (5), Dods (3), Lowndes (4), Jones (3), Panther (1), Main (1) and Brendan Crozier (1).
With the loss of Chief, Roddy and Bisciuts in the one season it's good to see the future of the Saintee cult hero is alive and well.

The Media

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "Danny Griffin Namecheck" Award for Best National Newspaper Coverage

Medal 55 Sun
(15 Votes)
( Sun)
The Sun retains it's award easily from a 2nd places "None all crap" nomination with 11 votes.
3rd was the Retard with 9 whilst others included the Daily Mail, Express, Herald, Sporting Life, Courier, Scotsman and Scotland On Sunday-Line. With the media coverage not as bad as in previous years it's heartening to see a wider range of papers being voted on.
Medal

The "Jim Griffin Namecheck" Award for Worst National Newspaper Coverage

Medal 55 Daily Record
(16 Votes)
(Daily Record)
3rd year running and even the presence of Messrs Cowan and Cosgrove can't stop Saints fans loathing the OF-dedicated sports pages that dominate the paper.
2nd was the Scotsman with 9 probably due to their unbiased coverage of Saints v Embra teams.
Others nominated included the Courier, Sunday Post, Daily Star, Sun, Express, Herald and Daily Mail with 5 going for the "None all crap" choice.
Medal

The "Sky Comes to McD" Award for Best TV/Radio Saints Coverage

Medal 55 Radio Scotland
(20 Votes)
(Radio Scotland)
No change here then with the fans favourite from a Saturday afternoon coming through well ahead of Scotsport with 12 votes in 2nd and Sky with 10 in 3rd.
Actually the 2nd for Scotsport is a good vote for them given the presence of Erchie "Name more than 3 Saints players" McPherson.
Others nominated included Sportscene, Radio Tay, Scot FM, Scotland On-Line and 3 votes for "All Crap".
Medal

The "Cover the OF Instead" Award for Worst TV/Radio Saints Coverage

Medal 55 Scotsport
(23 Votes)
(Scotsport)
Well some things never change and Erchie and Delacunt shine through once more.
2nd place was Sportscene with 12 votes (mainly due to Gordon "Plug my Players" Smiff.
Others nominated included Radio Scotland, Radio Tay, Scotland On-line, Scot FM, Sky and 3 votes for "All crap".
Medal

The "Muirton Park Press Card 92-93" Award for Media Falsehood of the Year

Medal 44 Keevins Shite
(11 Votes)
(Flop Comments - Keevins)
2nd year in a row for the Nasal Nuisance despite the limited range of nominations his Sunday Mail Senile Meanderings win through.
2nd place went to "Welshman" Graeme Jones (various papers).
Others included Radio Tay's wonderful UEFA commentaries, Murdos Monaco Name Game with Saints players, "Rangers are World Beaters", anything Charlie Nicholas says amongst others.
Weird vote went to the guy who simply said "Jim Farry" ?????
Medal

Pundit / Reporter of the Year

Medal 53 Bob Crampsey
(12 Votes)
(Stuart Cosgrove - Off the Ball)
The veteran pundit gets the award probably cos he's the only one worth listening to on Sportsound and is at least willing to try and learn the names of players in non-OF teams.
2nd place went surprisingly to Richard Gordon although it may have been a sympathy vote for the Dons fan.
Others nominated included Stuart Cosgrove, Gordon Smith, Gordon Bannerman, Tam Cowan , Jim Traynor, Derek Johnstone, Charlie Mann, Bill Leckie and Alan Patullo (the latter for his Scotsman article on the fans in Vaasa).
Oh yes and 2 voted for "All Crap".
Medal

The "Gerry" Hall of Fame for Worst Pundit / Reporter

Medal 55 Hugh Keevins
(25 Votes)
(Hugh Keevins)
2nd year in a row for the Nasal Nuisance which goes along with the Media Falsehood Title. "Were you at the award ceremony caller?".
2nd was Gordon the Agent with 7 votes.
Others included Graeme Spiers, Derek Johnstone, Jim Delacunt, Jim Traynor, Tam Cowan, Bill Leckie, Gerry McNee, Chic Young, Gordon Wallace - Radio Tay and Charlie Nicholas.
Nobody voted for "All Crap" so it's nice to see you all have an opinion.
Medal

The "Almost as Popular as the Pammy Video" Scroll for the Best WWW Site of the Season

Medal 53 All Saints
(14 Votes)(Blue Heaven)
Close one this with only 4 votes between the winner and Blue Heaven in 2nd.
Others included the official club site (5), PA, Shrine of the Saintees (3), Courier, Soccernet, Scotland On-Line, Sporting Life, Football365, Spursweb(?), DotMusic (????) amongst others.
Oh yes and 2 votes for the Temple which was nice.
Medal

The "I'm not interested in the Tannadice job" Award for Quote of the Season

Medal 49 "These Things Even Themselves out over the season" - J. Barnes.
(8 Votes)
("Not bad for flops" - Sandy Clark)
Low poll for this showing perhaps how forgettable the season was. But Barnseys post-match comments after the goal-that-never-was stuck in the mind and he wins by one vote.
2nd was Geoff Brown's media slagging of Moravprick and 3rd with 5 votes was Trevor Stevens ridiculous assertion that "Everyone supports the OF in Europe".
More seriously were the 3 votes for "Home Support Only" signs at McD for a certain match in April, Geoff Brown's post-match comment that week of "Safety is more important than money" and "Sit down or you'll be out" from a steward at McDiarmid.
On the funnier side there were nominations for the Larsson song we learnt in Finland, "Trialist, Trialist give us a wave" for Tommy, "Christ O'Hallorans taking a penalty" at the Hibs game", "Stick yer Monte Carlo up yer arse" as shouted out the train back to Nice, "Where's Vaasa".
Two though which probably sum up the season were "I had 10 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo last night, Dougal, but I still Didn't know what real shite was till I saw your performance " aimed at the worst ref in Scotland and 'If I die tomorrow, I'll have a smile on my face" Saints fan in Vaasa in O'Malleys.
Medal

The "You Should Be In The Papers" Citation for Best Poster to the Mailing List

Medal 30 Kev Heller
(8 Votes)
Right well that's the next 3 questions out of next years awards list as apathy reigns supreme.
For this year though Kev Heller wins the award (probably cos he's top poster).
2nd place was yours truly with 7 votes whilst Jamie the Stud's Harem could only wangle him 6 votes in 3rd.
Others who were actually nominated included Paula, Jim Eccleston and Steve Harker.
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The "You Should Be In The Jail" Award for Best Poster to the Mailing List

Medal 25 Jamie the Stud
(9 Votes)
Similar apathy here but Jamie gets the vote probably for his constant Sex Machine boasts.
2nd place was shared between Paula and Kev whilst Dave Low was 3rd with 3 votes.
Others mentioned were Steve Wiggets and Robert Thomson. Finally one person voted for "Match Reports". Luckily I'm not that easily offended you anonymous shit.
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The "This is Better Than Going To The Game" Medal for Best Subject of Season 1999-2000 on the Mailing List

Medal 34 Wu-Names
(9 Votes)
Non-football related but it was fun for all of 24 hours.
Others mentioned were "Tattoos", the Breakaway Perth League, UEFA Tales, Moaners at Easter Rd, Kev Hellers Criminal Record, Jamies MoM Awards based on radio commentaries and the Match Reports (I feel better now).

Off the Park

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AWARD

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VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

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The "Aggies Army" List of Season Ticket Holders

Medal 55 Yes - 39
No - 16
New for this year to gauge the ratio of diehards amongst us and to see how many would renew.
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The "Sit Us Amongst The Bigots" Roll of Season Ticket Holder Renewals for 2000-01

Medal 55 Renew - 32
No - 23
Allowing for those who are first-timers it still looks like Saints are losing out on the core support next season. How much that has to do with the pricing policy of the club (no price rise but fewer games) compared with the rest of the SPL, how much to do with the league format and finally how much to do with the next question isn't known.
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The "Let them eat Pie" Barometer of Club / Fan Relationships for Last Season

Medal 55 Improved - 1
No Change - 13
Worsened - 41
Not much to say here. One thing though is that those who said it hadn't changed may have suffered from low expectations.
There's no doubt though that the series of PR disasters over the last 12 months has badly damaged the image of the club amongst the supporters. And that's serious.
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The "Whitewash The Stand" List of Suggested Improvements to the Club

Medal 107 Get a Decent PR Person
(21 Votes )
(Employ a Commercial PR Person)
Unfortunately not much to be frivolous about here as there were plenty of nominations and votes along the same lines.
It's a sad indictment of the club's image that we still don't think that there's any decent PR work being done.
2nd place with 12 votes was "Cut the prices", a possible reflection on the lack of entertainment on offer.
3rd and more worrying were the 11 votes to remove Stewart Duff (not all phrased as diplomatically. There can be little doubt that the Rangers game and the chief executives treatment of complaints has done either himself or Saints as a whole no favours.
Other nominations included making season tickets valid for cup games, "Listen to the fans", "Treat Saints fans with respect", "Move us back to the East Stand", "No movement for OF Games", "Get new Stewards in", "Get new police in" and "More community involvement".
On the slightly lighter side one person wanted the fanzines to be sold in the Muirton Suite and there was even a vote for another video to be released (someone suffers from insomnia / masochistic tendencies).

The Future

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AWARD

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VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

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The "Commemorative UEFA Medallion" Coin Toss To Decide the Managers Fate

Medal 55 Keep Him - 48
Sack Him - 7
Well that's pretty convincing given the disappointments of the last season. It only means a moan ratio of around 13% next season.
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The "Roddy or Ronaldo?" List of Players Saints Should Sign

Medal 86 Top 3 are ::
Tommy Lovenkrands

(15 Votes)
Craig Russell
(7 Votes)
Ricky Gillies
(6 Votes
(A Striker, Colin Cameron, Steve Crawford).
Well as I said a lot of the votes came in before the signings were known and hopefully we'll get 2 of the top 3 votes.
Others mentioned included the usual "A Striker" (we signed 2 last year!!), Junior Mendes, Sergei Baltacha Jnr, Barry Lavety (one sad vote), Scott Wilson, Danny Griffin (!!!!), James Grady, Gary Smith, Glynn Hurst, Roberto Baggio (a serious nomination), Gordon Durie, Eddie Annand, Darren Jackson, Pat McGinlay, Roddy, Gary Locke, Jim Lauchlan, Another defender, Stephen Boyack, Sean Devine (Barnet), Iain Anderson, Left-sided midfielder (we've got one now), Stephen Crainey.
Interesting to see the move away from strikers though and the need for more midfielders / full backs.
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The "Mystic Aggie" Prediction List for Next Season

Medal 55 League Cup ::
Semi-Final

(16 Votes)
(Semi-Final)
Scottish Cup ::
4th Round

(15 Votes )
(Semi-Final)
Premier League ::
5th
(11 Votes)
(Fourth)
A much wider spread of the votes in all 3 tournaments. For the SPL it's probably to do with a bit more uncertainty givent he Pars and St. Mirren promotion and the mixed form of the other teams. One person expects us to win it with 2 expect us to get relegated. Most are optimistic enough to get us into the top half though.
For the cups the League Cup is the favourite with the Scottish Cup seeing most of us expecting a humiliation from a lower team or the traditional draw against Rangers in the 3rd round.
The real optimists are the 2 that expect us to win the League Cup and the 7 (!) who expect us to win the Scottish Cup.
Finally, congratulations to the guy who thinks we'll do the treble - can I have some of those pills as well please?
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The "Kenny MacDonald" Prediction for Most Promising Saintee Next Season

Medal 55 Kiegan Parker
Kiegan Parker

(18 Votes )
(Kiegan Parker)
Clear winner here and high hopes for next season from the youngster who finally broke through to keep a regular starting slot in the first team.
2nd with 11 votes was Martin Lauchlan whilst 3rd with 9 was Tommy Lovenkrands.
Others nominated includes Georgio (!), Marc McCulloch, McBride, Chris Conway, Martyn Fotheringham and a solitary vote for the Panther !! One worrying aspect was the limite number of names being bandied about in this category.
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The "School or Club" Dilemma of Youth Opportunities at Saints.

Medal 55 Yes - 37
No - 18
Interesting this with the majority believing that youth is getting a fair crack of the whip at the club under St. Sandy whilst at the same time nominating plenty of youngsters as "Most Promising Saintee".
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The "Kirkwood View From The Stand" List of Tactical Changes

Medal 77 Go to 3 at the Back
(23 Votes )
A clear winner in a category with not too many nominations. With 2nd place and 15 votes being "Get back to sexy football" it's plain to see that the fans weren't too happy at the fare on offer last season.
Other nominations included "Get a left winger and play him" (sorted now), "Shoot on sight", "More starts for Nathan behind Jone", "Sub players lacking commitment", "Bring strikers on when getting beat", "Get the midfield to push forward quicker", "Show more fight against the OF", " Play the kids more often", "Sign a big name" and "Dump the dead wood and players that won't play for the jersey".
So the verdict is attack, play sexy football and only play those who want to fight for the jersey Sandy and we'll back you all the way.
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The "Steve H Pessimism" Vote on Saints Future

Medal 55 More Optimistic
(41 Votes )
(22)
Unchanged
(1 Vote )
(1)
Less Optimistic
(13 Vote )
(5)
Well it was a pretty dull season last year and when most of the votes had come in we were set to lose players without looking like making any signings. But we don't let that affect our dreams as diehard Saints fans with the vast majority (which surprised even me) believing that Saints will be a stronger and better side next year.
Let's Hope So!!!!

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