Welcome to the Inagural Temple Of Saints Survey Awards (TOSSAs). Voted on by the grand total of 25 Saints fans from the Saints mailing list and via this Web Site, the results below represents their views on how Saints return to the Premiers went. OK enough of this pseudo-Oscar crap, on with the prizes......
The nominations are divided into 5 categories The Season, The Players, Scottish League, The Media and finally The Future
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AWARD |
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VOTES CAST |
And the Winner Is... |
OTHER NOMINATIONS |
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The "1997 New Year's Day Commemorative Gubbing" Award for Best Home Performance |
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22 | 2-0 Win
over Rangers (18 Votes) |
Well no real surprises with
a massive vote going for the long-awaited Januaryvictory over the Forces
of Darkness. Second place went to the other win over the other half of the Wegie Bigots whilst the 4-3 and 3-2 wins over Motherwell gained a vote apiece. |
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The "Any Trip to Dens Park" Award for Best Away Performance |
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20 | 2-0 Win
over Dundee Utd. (11 Votes) |
Not that close really with
a majority of the votes deciding that April's 2-0 Tannadice victory was
the best of the season. Other nominations were the wins at Aberdeen and Hibs and the draw at Tynecastle, each of whom got 2 votes whilst the Pars and Motherwell wins and the Aberdeen Draw got one apiece. |
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The "I'm No' Comin Back Next Week" Award for Worst Home Performance |
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21 | 2-0 Defeat
to the Pars. (7 Votes) |
Not that clear a decision
with the Pars win only just beating the Coca-Cola Cup defeat to Celtic
and Dallas (with 4 votes) with the Celtic League defeat, Partick and the
Jambos Sky match gaining 2 votes each. Other votes went to the 1-1 draw with Killie, the other defeat to Heats, Aberdeen and the token vote against TFOD. |
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The "Scottish Cup Memorial" Award for Worst Away Performance |
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22 | THAT Game
!!! (17 Votes) |
Another easy decision with
the dire performance against F**k**k in the Cup a clear-cut winner. Other votes went to the 3-2 defeat at Ibrox, Aberdeen, Dundee Utd in December and the Celtic and Killie defeats. Obviously these voters didn't get a Cup ticket. |
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The "Typical Saints" Award for Biggest Disappointment |
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23 | THAT Game
!!! (10 Votes) |
One of the closest votes
with the Cup match against THEM beating the disappointment of Killie
getting into Europe by one vote. 2 votes went to not beating Hearts over the season with one apiece going to losing to Celtic at Parkhead and a lack of attacking football. |
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The "Makes It All Worthwhile" Award for Most Satisfying Moment or Event |
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24 | Beating
the Jinx over TFOD!!! (13 Votes) |
Plenty of choices here but
the January win over Rangers still won by a mile. Nice to see we don't
hold any grudges. Other mentions went to Finishing 5th (3 votes), Holding on to beat Celtic (2), Keeping Sturrock(2), Roddy Scoring at Tynie (1), Partick going down(1), Meeting the Team(1) and Beating the Arabs(1) |
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AWARD |
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VOTES CAST |
And the Winner Is... |
OTHER NOMINATIONS |
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The "John Brogan Memorial" Award for Best Saints Player This Season |
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22 |  Alan Kernaghan (6 Votes) |
Very close decision with
Father Dougal edging out Alan Main and Il Biscotti by one vote. Other mentions went to John McQuillan(3), Nick Dasovic(1), Paul Kane(1) and Callum Davidson(1). Given that all the nominations were for defensive players this doesnt look too good on the strikers performances last year. |
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The "Andy Brannigan Understudy" Award for Worst Saints Player This Season |
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22 |  Thomas Andersson (6 Votes) |
Nice to see the big Swede
(or NeepHeid) getting an award at last with the votes all based on his
token 5 minutes total playing time for Saints. In a fairly lengthy list other votes went to Steve Tosh(3), Tommy Wright(3), Kane(2),. Bowan(1), Preston(1 Heretic), Price, Attila, Georgio, Dasovic, McMahon and Jenko |
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The "Vinny Arkins £5m In A Few Years" Award for the Most Improved Saints Player This Season |
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22 |    Allan Preston Callum Davison John McQuillan (5 Votes Each) |
First joint award for 3
(well 2 and 1 ex-) Saints defenders who came on leaps and bounds in the
last 12 months. Other notable mentions went to Keyring(2) with a vote each for Alan Main, John O'Neil, Stuart McCluskey, Paul Kane, Andy Whiteford and Jenko. |
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The "Fat Keepers Memorial Rolex" Award for the Best Ambassador for the Club |
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23 |  Jim Weir (8 Votes) |
Well-deserved award for Big
Jim with a 3 vote winning margin over keeper Jesus Main. El Luggino(3), Biscuits(2), Legend(2), Callum Davison, Geoff Brown and Alan Kernaghan split the remaining votes. |
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The "Marble Staircase Story Revisited (Again)" Award for the Biggest Embarrassment for Saints |
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26 |  Attila Sekerlioglou (6 Votes) |
Strange list of votes for
this one with some people voting on general tomfoolery whilst others
went for the more vicious angle. Dino wins by 2 votes from the
International Man Of Mystery Gavin Price and TFOD injury victim Garry
Bollan (remember him?). Other mentions to Totten, Andersson, Tosh, Legend, Jenko, Luis Cassule, F**k**k and "Biscuits doing the full monty"!!!! |
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The "I Cant Be Bothered Typing Dinos Name Out In the Match Reports" Award for the Best Nickname of the Season |
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19 | Allan "Il Biscotti" Preston (6 Votes) |
Another award for the man
who gave birth to an entire cult this season (and several T-Shirt
slogans). Actually nominated for "Biscuits" and "Outlet"
as well. Other votes went to Shell Petrol Station, Father Dougal, Legend and Gavin Price - International Man of Mystery. |
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The "Chirpy Cheeky Chick Charnley Red Card" Award for the Funniest Moment of the Season |
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18 | Erik
Pedersen Sending Off (4 Votes) |
Wide list of nominations
with the Scandanavian Arab Getting his just deserts in April coming out
on top ahead of Rangers losing to us, Hibs Going Down, Partick Going
Down, Quitongos disallowed goal, Falkirk Almost Going Bust, Dave Low at
the Ice Factory and many others. Not that any of the voting here was malicious in the slightest. |
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The "Fererro Rocher 'With These Players You Are Spoiling Us" Award for the Ideal Saints Side |
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25 | Main, McQuillan, Preston, Dasovic, Weir, Kernaghan, Scott, O'Neil, Connolly, Georgio, McAnespie | Again lots of different
votes with the defence the most consistent of the selections. Most
people went for Connolly instead of Roddy and with little support for
Jenko. Other players mentioned were Kane, McMahon, O'Halloran, Bollan, Attila, McCluskey and Danny although the latter two seem to have suffered from the form of Weir and Kernaghan this season. |
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The "Grudging Admission" Medallion for Best non-Saints Player in the Scottish League |
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25 | Henrik
Larsson (TFOE) (5 Votes) |
A close vote with the
Dreadlocked One only just beating "Fangs" Burley into second
place (wonder if anyone would vote differently after the Norway game). Plenty of other mentions for Harper, Naysmith, McCoist, Laudrup, McNamara, Ritchie, Albertz, Colin Miller, Gazza and the best of the lost "The Concept Doesnt Exist". |
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The "Oleg Salenko" Medallion for Worst non-Saints Player in the Scottish League |
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25 | Cheeky
Chic Charnley (No Fixed Abode) (5 Votes) |
Personal grudges galore
here with Red Chic walking away with this one. Nearest contenders with 2 voter were "Most of Hibs", Blinker, Bratbaak, Lavety, Gough, Gazza, Gattuso with other mentions for Porrini, Tony Vidmar, Harry Curran, Craig Moore, Inglis and Sieb the Porn Star. Oh yes and one for "All of them" |
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The "Kane Them or Chamu Them" Scroll of Contract Renewals |
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25 | Paul Kane
(17 Keep / 8 Dump) Alan Kernaghan (24 Keep / 1 Dump) Danny Griffin (25 Keep / 0 Dump) Davide Xausa (19 Keep / 6 Dump) Leigh Jenkinson (16 Keep / 9 Dump) |
With only Taffy of the 5 leaving the votes are fairly pointless (although it was interesting to see how apathetic we were to him). Danny and Kernaghan stood out by far and it was good to see faith being put in Davide Xausa. |
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AWARD |
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VOTES CAST |
And the Winner Is... |
OTHER NOMINATIONS |
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The "Better Than The Pub" Award for Team Giving Most Entertainment Value |
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23 | Hearts (8 Votes) |
Clear winner for the Jambos with 4 close games this season and some good football (plus the pie shop at Tynies good for some old mutton !!!). Next up were Motherwell (probably cos we beat them regularly) with Celtic, Arabs, Huns, Sheep and Partick Bankrupt also nominated. |
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The "Boghead Chemical Toilet" Award for Best Away Ground |
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25 | Celtic
Park (10 Votes) |
Another straightforward
choice with voting obviously influenced by the atmosphere on the last
day of the League season. Other votes went to the revamped Tannadice and Tynecastle and the ancient Ibrox. One vote went to "None - they're all shite". I love these unbiased awards dos !! |
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The "Fans - Who Cares?" Vote on the Wunnerful new Scottish Premiership |
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25 | Yes
(21 Votes) No (4 Votes) |
Clear winner this one which
no doubt eases the consciences of Murray and McCann and winds up Traynor
a lot more. Still it would have been interesting to see the effect on the voting had Saints not had such a good season. |
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The "George Fulston Chairmanship" Award for the Best Thing to Happen to Scottish Football |
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25 | Rangers
Win Falkirk All ( 8 Votes) |
More outpourings of the grudges in this category with most of the votes aimed at TFOD. Hibs being relegated, Saints performance in the League, Partick and the Bairns almost going bust and Scumdee getting promoted (!) also gained nominations. |
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The "Sacking of Totten Antichrist" Award for the Worst Thing to Happen to Scottish Football |
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15 | Killie
Getting UEFA Slot ( 7 Votes) |
Probably not so much Killie
getting the spot as Saints missing out. Still we'll show them next year. Other mentions went to Celtic winning the League, Scotlands favourite man-in-black Shuggy Dallas, the Pars staying up, Charlie Nicholas on Hunsport, Losing to Totten, Scumdee getting promoted, Luncarty bottom of the League (!), Too many useless foreigners and Lack of money for smaller clubs with the last two showing worrying signs that the TOSSAs are being taken seriously out there. |
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The "Embassy Regal / Roddy Grant" Award for the Most Saintee-esque Moment of the Season |
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12 | Losing to
F**k**k ( 6 Votes) |
Obviously too much thinking involved here. Other mentions apart from THAT match went to "Attila kicking the hell out of the Hibs junkie and his relegation comments", "Singing Saints songs in the foyer of the Festival Theatre" (You know who you are), Mains penalty saves, The Tynecatle peh shop, "Beating the Huns only to lose to Killie!", "Georgio missing a sitter at Parkhead" and "Watching the DJ try to operate the new scoreboard". |
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AWARD |
|
VOTES CAST |
And the Winner Is... |
OTHER NOMINATIONS |
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The "Danny Griffin Namecheck" Award for Best National Media Coverage |
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25 | Courier
and Sun (6 Votes each) |
Close category this with nearest nominations to the winners being the Daily Record, Sunday Times and "None - they're all crap" on 3 votes each. Other votes went to Sky / Skytext, Scotsman and Scotsport (whoever voted for the last one needs to get out a lot more). |
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The "Jim Griffin Namecheck" Award for Worst National Media Coverage |
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25 | Daily
Record (15 Votes) |
An easy win for the 1997-98
Media Falsehood Champion as the most biased national media. No-one else scored more than 2 votes with nominees including Scotsport Extra Whine, "Them All", Scotsman, Herald and Daily Mail / Soccernet. |
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The "Muirton Park Press Card 92-93" Award for Media Falsehood of the Year |
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23 | "Jim
Griffin" (Daily Record) (10 Votes) |
Another TOSSA for
Wegielands Finest Tabloid as the Retard picks up the award for
consistently calling Danny Griffin "Jim" in the Saturday
editions at the end of the season. Runner-up was "Anything Totten said" with 7 votes, "Sturrock signing for Hibs" and various photo error. |
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Pundit / Reporter of the Year |
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25 | Gordon
Bannerman / "P.A." (9 Votes) |
Good win for the
always-witty Bannerman with Danny Chalmers also mentioned. Second place
went to Bob Crampsey with other votes for Colquhoun, Charlie Mann, Chic
Young(!) and Stuart Cosgrove. ...also 2 votes for myself but I dont know whether to be honoured or insulted - moi a pundit ? |
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The "Gerry" Hall of Fame for Worst Pundit / Reporter |
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25 | Chic Young
/ Charlie Nicholas (7 Votes Each) |
Wegielands finest strike
again with the voting tied between Chic No Hair and Charlie Bono Hair. Other names were McNee (as always), Jim White, Shug Keevins, Jim Traynor, Gordon Smith and Gary Keown (of Tynie fame). |
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The "Kenny Dalglish" Award for Quote of the Season |
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14 |  "Altar Boys" - Paul Sturrock (7 Votes) |
TOSSA for the boss time
with Sturrock picking up the award for the media soundbite in the last
week of the season. Other mentions go to Dinos quotes on Barry Lavatory, "Thats shite Jenko" (just before he scored at Tannadice), "The one about the Saints fan abusing the reporter at Tynie", and "Subsidy Junkies" about the residents of Juteopolis. |
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AWARD |
|
VOTES CAST |
And the Winner Is... |
OTHER NOMINATIONS |
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The "Chamu Musanhu" Scroll of Players Saints Should Sign |
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30 | Top 3 are
:: Andy Smith (Pars) (6 Votes) Ally McCoist (TFOD) (5 Votes) Billy Dodds / Derek Lilley (4 Votes each) |
Another large list of
nominees with the emphasis firmly on strikers. Apart from the top 3 other names mentioned were Jim Hamilton, Ian Anderson, Scott Booth, Grant Brebner, Barry Lavety, Shell Petrol Station, Ian Durrant, Stuart McCall, Kevin James, Dean Windass, Kevin Harper, "me" and "any striker" |
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The "Mystic Aggie" Prediction List for Next Season |
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25 | League Cup
:: Out Early / Qtr Final(9 Votes each) Premier League :: 4th(10 Votes) Scottish Cup :: Quarter Final(11 Votes ) |
Well a reasonable vote of
confidence in the boys for next season. For the League Cup there were 4 votes for a semi final place and 2 for winning the thing. Scottish Cup had 6 votes for a win and another 5 for a semi-final place at least so the memory of F**k**k has obviously been erased. The new Premiership doesn't seem to have dampened any optimism with only 3 people predicting a finish outside the top 6. and one solitary optimist predicting a win. |
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The "Kenny MacDonald" Prediction for Most Promising Saintee Next Season |
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24 |  Kieran McAnespie (6 Votes ) |
Fairly widespread voting
with Paddy Connolly on 4 votes in second place, Danny, McCluskey and
Xausa follow up with 2 votes each in third and Kernaghan, Preston,
McMahon, Georgio, McCluskey, Kane(!), Jenko all gaining nominations. The futures blue, the futures Saintee !! |
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The "Blackley View From The Stand" List of Tactical Changes |
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22 | Play 2 or
3 up front (8 Votes ) |
A broad range of suggestions for Sloop and Luggy with the main topic being that the team isn't attacking enough. "Get Dasovic to take shots" and "Make Jenko run" were 2 of the other ideas. |
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The "Whitewash The Stand" List of Improvements to the Club |
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21 | Better
Ticket Organisation (5 Votes ) |
The last games at
Tynecastle and Parkhead have left some bitterness amongst the support
with various ideas including voucher systems, moving the ticket office
to the Ormond Stand, "Give Celtic 800 tickets for the next home
game" amongst the suggestions. Other areas covered were "Open a proper club shop", "Put the bookies back in the East Stand", "Vegetarian Pies" (!), "Better Scoreboard / Strips" and "Get rid of the announcer / employ someone to wind up the crowd". Do you lot enjoy any of the McD experience? |
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The "Steve H Pessimism" Vote on Saints Future |
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25 | More
Optimistic (22 Votes ) Unchanged (1 Vote ) Less Optimistic (1 Vote ) |
Oh well you know that they
say pride comes before a fall? Still apart from one long-haired
depressed Saintee we're all fairly optimistic about the Boys for the
next season. HERES TO EUROPE!!! |