The 1998 TOSSA AWARDS

Welcome to the Inagural Temple Of Saints Survey Awards (TOSSAs). Voted on by the grand total of 25 Saints fans from the Saints mailing list and via this Web Site, the results below represents their views on how Saints return to the Premiers went. OK enough of this pseudo-Oscar crap, on with the prizes......

The nominations are divided into 5 categories The Season, The Players, Scottish League, The Media and finally The Future


The Season

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "1997 New Year's Day Commemorative Gubbing" Award for Best Home Performance

Medal 22 2-0 Win over Rangers
(18 Votes)
Well no real surprises with a massive vote going for the long-awaited Januaryvictory over the Forces of Darkness.
Second place went to the other win over the other half of the Wegie Bigots whilst the 4-3 and 3-2 wins over Motherwell gained a vote apiece.
Medal

The "Any Trip to Dens Park" Award for Best Away Performance

Medal 20 2-0 Win over Dundee Utd.
(11 Votes)
Not that close really with a majority of the votes deciding that April's 2-0 Tannadice victory was the best of the season.
Other nominations were the wins at Aberdeen and Hibs and the draw at Tynecastle, each of whom got 2 votes whilst the Pars and Motherwell wins and the Aberdeen Draw got one apiece.
Medal

The "I'm No' Comin Back Next Week" Award for Worst Home Performance

Medal 21 2-0 Defeat to the Pars.
(7 Votes)
Not that clear a decision with the Pars win only just beating the Coca-Cola Cup defeat to Celtic and Dallas (with 4 votes) with the Celtic League defeat, Partick and the Jambos Sky match gaining 2 votes each.
Other votes went to the 1-1 draw with Killie, the other defeat to Heats, Aberdeen and the token vote against TFOD.
Medal

The "Scottish Cup Memorial" Award for Worst Away Performance

Medal 22 THAT Game !!!
(17 Votes)
Another easy decision with the dire performance against F**k**k in the Cup a clear-cut winner.
Other votes went to the 3-2 defeat at Ibrox, Aberdeen, Dundee Utd in December and the Celtic and Killie defeats. Obviously these voters didn't get a Cup ticket.
Medal

The "Typical Saints" Award for Biggest Disappointment

Medal 23 THAT Game !!!
(10 Votes)
One of the closest votes with the Cup match against THEM beating the disappointment of Killie getting into Europe by one vote.
2 votes went to not beating Hearts over the season with one apiece going to losing to Celtic at Parkhead and a lack of attacking football.
Medal

The "Makes It All Worthwhile" Award for Most Satisfying Moment or Event

Medal 24 Beating the Jinx over TFOD!!!
(13 Votes)
Plenty of choices here but the January win over Rangers still won by a mile. Nice to see we don't hold any grudges.
Other mentions went to Finishing 5th (3 votes), Holding on to beat Celtic (2), Keeping Sturrock(2), Roddy Scoring at Tynie (1), Partick going down(1), Meeting the Team(1) and Beating the Arabs(1)

The Players

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "John Brogan Memorial" Award for Best Saints Player This Season

Medal 22 Father Dougal
Alan Kernaghan

(6 Votes)
Very close decision with Father Dougal edging out Alan Main and Il Biscotti by one vote.
Other mentions went to John McQuillan(3), Nick Dasovic(1), Paul Kane(1) and Callum Davidson(1).
Given that all the nominations were for defensive players this doesnt look too good on the strikers performances last year.
Medal

The "Andy Brannigan Understudy" Award for Worst Saints Player This Season

Medal 22 Thomas Andersson
Thomas Andersson

(6 Votes)
Nice to see the big Swede (or NeepHeid) getting an award at last with the votes all based on his token 5 minutes total playing time for Saints.
In a fairly lengthy list other votes went to Steve Tosh(3), Tommy Wright(3), Kane(2),. Bowan(1), Preston(1 Heretic), Price, Attila, Georgio, Dasovic, McMahon and Jenko
Medal

The "Vinny Arkins £5m In A Few Years" Award for the Most Improved Saints Player This Season

Medal 22 Il BiscottiCallum The MillionaireJohn McQ
Allan Preston
Callum Davison
John McQuillan

(5 Votes Each)
First joint award for 3 (well 2 and 1 ex-) Saints defenders who came on leaps and bounds in the last 12 months.
Other notable mentions went to Keyring(2) with a vote each for Alan Main, John O'Neil, Stuart McCluskey, Paul Kane, Andy Whiteford and Jenko.
Medal

The "Fat Keepers Memorial Rolex" Award for the Best Ambassador for the Club

Medal 23 Capn Jim
Jim Weir
(8 Votes)
Well-deserved award for Big Jim with a 3 vote winning margin over keeper Jesus Main.
El Luggino(3), Biscuits(2), Legend(2), Callum Davison, Geoff Brown and Alan Kernaghan split the remaining votes.
Medal

The "Marble Staircase Story Revisited (Again)" Award for the Biggest Embarrassment for Saints

Medal 26 Dino !!!
Attila Sekerlioglou
(6 Votes)
Strange list of votes for this one with some people voting on general tomfoolery whilst others went for the more vicious angle. Dino wins by 2 votes from the International Man Of Mystery Gavin Price and TFOD injury victim Garry Bollan (remember him?).
Other mentions to Totten, Andersson, Tosh, Legend, Jenko, Luis Cassule, F**k**k and "Biscuits doing the full monty"!!!!
Medal

The "I Cant Be Bothered Typing Dinos Name Out In the Match Reports" Award for the Best Nickname of the Season

Medal 19 Il Biscotti Himself
Allan "Il Biscotti" Preston
(6 Votes)
Another award for the man who gave birth to an entire cult this season (and several T-Shirt slogans). Actually nominated for "Biscuits" and "Outlet" as well.
Other votes went to Shell Petrol Station, Father Dougal, Legend and Gavin Price - International Man of Mystery.
Medal

The "Chirpy Cheeky Chick Charnley Red Card" Award for the Funniest Moment of the Season

Medal 18 Erik Pedersen Sending Off
(4 Votes)
Wide list of nominations with the Scandanavian Arab Getting his just deserts in April coming out on top ahead of Rangers losing to us, Hibs Going Down, Partick Going Down, Quitongos disallowed goal, Falkirk Almost Going Bust, Dave Low at the Ice Factory and many others.
Not that any of the voting here was malicious in the slightest.
Medal

The "Fererro Rocher 'With These Players You Are Spoiling Us" Award for the Ideal Saints Side

Medal 25 Main, McQuillan, Preston, Dasovic, Weir, Kernaghan, Scott, O'Neil, Connolly, Georgio, McAnespie Again lots of different votes with the defence the most consistent of the selections. Most people went for Connolly instead of Roddy and with little support for Jenko.
Other players mentioned were Kane, McMahon, O'Halloran, Bollan, Attila, McCluskey and Danny although the latter two seem to have suffered from the form of Weir and Kernaghan this season.
Medal

The "Grudging Admission" Medallion for Best non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 25 Henrik Larsson (TFOE)
(5 Votes)
A close vote with the Dreadlocked One only just beating "Fangs" Burley into second place (wonder if anyone would vote differently after the Norway game).
Plenty of other mentions for Harper, Naysmith, McCoist, Laudrup, McNamara, Ritchie, Albertz, Colin Miller, Gazza and the best of the lost "The Concept Doesnt Exist".
Medal

The "Oleg Salenko" Medallion for Worst non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 25 Cheeky Chic Charnley
(No Fixed Abode)

(5 Votes)
Personal grudges galore here with Red Chic walking away with this one.
Nearest contenders with 2 voter were "Most of Hibs", Blinker, Bratbaak, Lavety, Gough, Gazza, Gattuso with other mentions for Porrini, Tony Vidmar, Harry Curran, Craig Moore, Inglis and Sieb the Porn Star. Oh yes and one for "All of them"
Medal

The "Kane Them or Chamu Them" Scroll of Contract Renewals

Medal 25 Paul Kane (17 Keep / 8 Dump)
Alan Kernaghan (24 Keep / 1 Dump)
Danny Griffin (25 Keep / 0 Dump)
Davide Xausa (19 Keep / 6 Dump)
Leigh Jenkinson (16 Keep / 9 Dump)
With only Taffy of the 5 leaving the votes are fairly pointless (although it was interesting to see how apathetic we were to him). Danny and Kernaghan stood out by far and it was good to see faith being put in Davide Xausa.

Scottish League

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "Better Than The Pub" Award for Team Giving Most Entertainment Value

Medal 23 Hearts
(8 Votes)
Clear winner for the Jambos with 4 close games this season and some good football (plus the pie shop at Tynies good for some old mutton !!!). Next up were Motherwell (probably cos we beat them regularly) with Celtic, Arabs, Huns, Sheep and Partick Bankrupt also nominated.
Medal

The "Boghead Chemical Toilet" Award for Best Away Ground

Medal 25 Celtic Park
(10 Votes)
Another straightforward choice with voting obviously influenced by the atmosphere on the last day of the League season.
Other votes went to the revamped Tannadice and Tynecastle and the ancient Ibrox. One vote went to "None - they're all shite". I love these unbiased awards dos !!
Medal

The "Fans - Who Cares?" Vote on the Wunnerful new Scottish Premiership

Medal 25 Yes (21 Votes)
No (4 Votes)
Clear winner this one which no doubt eases the consciences of Murray and McCann and winds up Traynor a lot more.
Still it would have been interesting to see the effect on the voting had Saints not had such a good season.
Medal

The "George Fulston Chairmanship" Award for the Best Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 25 Rangers Win Falkirk All
( 8 Votes)
More outpourings of the grudges in this category with most of the votes aimed at TFOD. Hibs being relegated, Saints performance in the League, Partick and the Bairns almost going bust and Scumdee getting promoted (!) also gained nominations.
Medal

The "Sacking of Totten Antichrist" Award for the Worst Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 15 Killie Getting UEFA Slot
( 7 Votes)
Probably not so much Killie getting the spot as Saints missing out. Still we'll show them next year.
Other mentions went to Celtic winning the League, Scotlands favourite man-in-black Shuggy Dallas, the Pars staying up, Charlie Nicholas on Hunsport, Losing to Totten, Scumdee getting promoted, Luncarty bottom of the League (!), Too many useless foreigners and Lack of money for smaller clubs with the last two showing worrying signs that the TOSSAs are being taken seriously out there.
Medal

The "Embassy Regal / Roddy Grant" Award for the Most Saintee-esque Moment of the Season

Medal 12 Losing to F**k**k
( 6 Votes)
Obviously too much thinking involved here. Other mentions apart from THAT match went to "Attila kicking the hell out of the Hibs junkie and his relegation comments", "Singing Saints songs in the foyer of the Festival Theatre" (You know who you are), Mains penalty saves, The Tynecatle peh shop, "Beating the Huns only to lose to Killie!", "Georgio missing a sitter at Parkhead" and "Watching the DJ try to operate the new scoreboard".

The Media

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "Danny Griffin Namecheck" Award for Best National Media Coverage

Medal 25 Courier and Sun
(6 Votes each)
Close category this with nearest nominations to the winners being the Daily Record, Sunday Times and "None - they're all crap" on 3 votes each. Other votes went to Sky / Skytext, Scotsman and Scotsport (whoever voted for the last one needs to get out a lot more).
Medal

The "Jim Griffin Namecheck" Award for Worst National Media Coverage

Medal 25 Daily Record
(15 Votes)
An easy win for the 1997-98 Media Falsehood Champion as the most biased national media.
No-one else scored more than 2 votes with nominees including Scotsport Extra Whine, "Them All", Scotsman, Herald and Daily Mail / Soccernet.
Medal

The "Muirton Park Press Card 92-93" Award for Media Falsehood of the Year

Medal 23 "Jim Griffin" (Daily Record)
(10 Votes)
Another TOSSA for Wegielands Finest Tabloid as the Retard picks up the award for consistently calling Danny Griffin "Jim" in the Saturday editions at the end of the season.
Runner-up was "Anything Totten said" with 7 votes, "Sturrock signing for Hibs" and various photo error.
Medal

Pundit / Reporter of the Year

Medal 25 Gordon Bannerman / "P.A."
(9 Votes)
Good win for the always-witty Bannerman with Danny Chalmers also mentioned. Second place went to Bob Crampsey with other votes for Colquhoun, Charlie Mann, Chic Young(!) and Stuart Cosgrove.
...also 2 votes for myself but I dont know whether to be honoured or insulted - moi a pundit ?
Medal

The "Gerry" Hall of Fame for Worst Pundit / Reporter

Medal 25 Chic Young / Charlie Nicholas
(7 Votes Each)
Wegielands finest strike again with the voting tied between Chic No Hair and Charlie Bono Hair.
Other names were McNee (as always), Jim White, Shug Keevins, Jim Traynor, Gordon Smith and Gary Keown (of Tynie fame).
Medal

The "Kenny Dalglish" Award for Quote of the Season

Medal 14 El Luggino
"Altar Boys" - Paul Sturrock

(7 Votes)
TOSSA for the boss time with Sturrock picking up the award for the media soundbite in the last week of the season.
Other mentions go to Dinos quotes on Barry Lavatory, "Thats shite Jenko" (just before he scored at Tannadice), "The one about the Saints fan abusing the reporter at Tynie", and "Subsidy Junkies" about the residents of Juteopolis.

The Future

Medal

AWARD

Medal

VOTES CAST

And the Winner Is...

OTHER NOMINATIONS

Medal

The "Chamu Musanhu" Scroll of Players Saints Should Sign

Medal 30 Top 3 are ::
Andy Smith (Pars)

(6 Votes)
Ally McCoist (TFOD)
(5 Votes)
Billy Dodds / Derek Lilley
(4 Votes each)
Another large list of nominees with the emphasis firmly on strikers.
Apart from the top 3 other names mentioned were Jim Hamilton, Ian Anderson, Scott Booth, Grant Brebner, Barry Lavety, Shell Petrol Station, Ian Durrant, Stuart McCall, Kevin James, Dean Windass, Kevin Harper, "me" and "any striker"
Medal

The "Mystic Aggie" Prediction List for Next Season

Medal 25 League Cup ::
Out Early / Qtr Final
(9 Votes each)
Premier League ::
4th
(10 Votes)
Scottish Cup ::
Quarter Final
(11 Votes )
Well a reasonable vote of confidence in the boys for next season.
For the League Cup there were 4 votes for a semi final place and 2 for winning the thing. Scottish Cup had 6 votes for a win and another 5 for a semi-final place at least so the memory of F**k**k has obviously been erased.
The new Premiership doesn't seem to have dampened any optimism with only 3 people predicting a finish outside the top 6. and one solitary optimist predicting a win.
Medal

The "Kenny MacDonald" Prediction for Most Promising Saintee Next Season

Medal 24 Keyring
Kieran McAnespie

(6 Votes )
Fairly widespread voting with Paddy Connolly on 4 votes in second place, Danny, McCluskey and Xausa follow up with 2 votes each in third and Kernaghan, Preston, McMahon, Georgio, McCluskey, Kane(!), Jenko all gaining nominations.
The futures blue, the futures Saintee !!
Medal

The "Blackley View From The Stand" List of Tactical Changes

Medal 22 Play 2 or 3 up front
(8 Votes )
A broad range of suggestions for Sloop and Luggy with the main topic being that the team isn't attacking enough. "Get Dasovic to take shots" and "Make Jenko run" were 2 of the other ideas.
Medal

The "Whitewash The Stand" List of Improvements to the Club

Medal 21 Better Ticket Organisation
(5 Votes )
The last games at Tynecastle and Parkhead have left some bitterness amongst the support with various ideas including voucher systems, moving the ticket office to the Ormond Stand, "Give Celtic 800 tickets for the next home game" amongst the suggestions.
Other areas covered were "Open a proper club shop", "Put the bookies back in the East Stand", "Vegetarian Pies" (!), "Better Scoreboard / Strips" and "Get rid of the announcer / employ someone to wind up the crowd".
Do you lot enjoy any of the McD experience?
Medal

The "Steve H Pessimism" Vote on Saints Future

Medal 25 More Optimistic
(22 Votes )
Unchanged
(1 Vote )
Less Optimistic
(1 Vote )
Oh well you know that they say pride comes before a fall? Still apart from one long-haired depressed Saintee we're all fairly optimistic about the Boys for the next season.
HERES TO EUROPE!!!

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