Welcome to the1999 Temple Of Saints Survey Awards (TOSSAs). Voted on by the Saints mailing list and via this Web Site, the results below represents their views on how Saints "greatest" ever season looked. If you can be bothered last season's inaugural awards can be found here.

The nominations are divided into 5 categories The Season, The Players, The Media and finally The Future. Thanks to all that took the time to vote.

The Season





And the Winner Is...

(1998 TOSSA in brackets)



The "1997 New Year's Day Commemorative Gubbing" Award for Best Home Performance

Medal 45 3-1 Win over Rangers
(21 Votes)
(2-0 win over Rangers)
Just like last year the award goes to the win over the Forces of Darkness.
Other nominations were the Euro-qualifying win over Scumdee (8 votes), the 4-1 win against the Dons, both wins over Celtic, the 5-0 gubbing of Motherwell and the 4-0 League Cup Win over Hibs.

The "Any Trip to Dens Park" Award for Best Away Performance

Medal 45 3-0 Win v Hearts (League Cup)
(20 Votes)
(2-0 Win over Dundee Utd.)
Again a fairly convincing win with the Easter Road slaughter of the Gorgie Gits getting first place.
Elsewhere votes went to the 1-1 Killie Draw in May (9), the 2-0 Cup win over Motherwell and the 1-0 Parkhead win at the start of the season. Votes also for the April win at Tannadice and the League Cup tie at Brockville although I suspect the last one is more relief than anything else.

The "Let's Ban Sky" Award for Worst Home Performance

Medal 45 7-0 Defeat to the Forces Of Darkness
(23 Votes)
(2-0 Defeat to the Pars)
Only really one game in it with the McDiarmid Massacre from November easily the worst home performance of the season.
Other votes went to the 3-1 defeat to Judas (11), Dunfermline matches "for boredom (4), the 1-0 defeat to Killie (4) and the Motherwell 0-0 draw (3). Again the last one seems to be more frustration than anything else.

The "Ochilview" Award for Worst Away Performance

Medal 45 5-0 defeat v Sellik
(14 Votes)
(3-0 defeat v Falkirk - Scottish Cup)
Closer award this one with the SPL gubbing at Parkhead (and Dods' worst performance of the season) just winning.
2nd place was the 1-0 Spring defeat to the Pars (10 votes), then the Scottish Cup semi (9). Other votes went to Ibrox on Boxing Day (6), Pittodrie in May (3) the 2-2 draw with Killie and the 4-0 defeat at Ibrox at the start of the season (Judas' last match).

The "Who Needs a Striker Now?" Certificate for Goal of the Season

Medal 45 Georgios Half-Way Line Lob v. Motherwell
(13 Votes)
The long-range effort in the 5-0 gubbing from Georgio just snatches the award by 2 votes ahead of Il Biscotti's goal at Easter Rd.
Others nominated included Phizzy's at Tynecastle, McMahons v the Sheep, Nathan's 2nd v Hibs, Dasovic in the League Cup Final, Keyring v TFOD and finally Kane's v Scumdee in May (I wonder why that got 5 votes?)

The "Craig Brown Selection" Medallion for Save of the Season

Medal 45 Alan Main v Dundee 23/05/99
(28 Votes)
Only 3 nominations for this award with Main's heroics towards the end of the Dundee match easily getting 1st spot.
2nd place went to the 2nd Tynecastle match with the wonder saves. Finally we had 3 votes for a Mr. C. Hendry's handling on the line on Boxing Day.

The "Gerry McMahon Injury" Scroll for Biggest Disappointment of the Season

Medal 45 Losing the League Cup Final
(14 Votes)
(3-0 defeat v Falkirk - Scottish Cup)
An award that probably reflects the post-match opinions of most Saints fans after the game - let's face it TFOD were there for the taking that day.
2nd place with 11 votes went to Saints other cup defeat. Others nominated included "Not Winning at Ibrox", "Arabs Staying Up", "Sturrock's Departure" (hmm) and Losing on Boxing Day. Weirdest vote went to "Seeing O'Neil on Teletext in the Scotland squad then finding out it was Brian" - some people need to get things in perspective.

The "Makes It All Worthwhile" Award for Most Satisfying Moment or Event

Medal 45 Europe!!!
(22 Votes)
(Beating the Jinx over TFOD)
Loads of nominations but one clear winner in getting the UEFA slot.
Others nominated were the League Cup semi, "Being at a Cup Final", "Seeing McD full of Saints v Dundee", "3 wins over Celtic", "Kanes goal v Dundee", "Bollans goal v Killie" and "Realising we'd qualified for Europe in the pub after the game". Sums it all up really.

The "Better Than The Pub" Award for Team Giving Most Entertainment Value

Medal 45 Kilmarnock
(13 Votes)
Four close games over the season against the other half of the New New Firm and a reasonably healthy respect between the 2 sets of fans.
2nd place went to Sellik (11). Others voted for included Hibs, Aberdeen ("for novelty value"), TFOD, Motherwell, Dundee, "None of them" and the Arabs (My God an entertaining Sturrock Side?)

The "Boghead Drainage System" Memorial Award for Best Away Ground

Medal 45 Celtic Park
(15 Votes)
(Celtic Park)
TFOE retain the award for the second year - obviously due to the cup games since only 33 of us are deemed worthy enough to go to an SPL match there.
2nd place was shared between Easter Rd. and Rugby Park with both influenced by the large Saints crowds travelling there. Other nominations were Station Park, Ross County, Brora Rangers, Tynecastle, Dens, Ibrox and Tannadice. Strangely absent was any vote for the "family atmospher" of Almondvale.

The "OF Domination" Plaque for the Best Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 46 Saints Qualify For Europe
(14 Votes)
(Rangers win F**k All)
No bias whatsover for the winner here.
Other votes went to "Killie and Saints form", "St. Sandy", Sky TV, The Pars getting relegated, "Hearts being crap", the U-21 League and the sackings of Donald Findlay and Jim Farry (remember him?)

The "Sacking of Totten AntiChrist" Award for the Worst Thing to Happen to Scottish Football

Medal 45 Dundee Utd. Staying Up
(9 Votes)
(Killie getting the UEFA slot)
More of a close decision with several nominations but the grudges show through - who ever thought a Saintee would want to see Utd get relegated instead of Dundee.
2nd place with 8 votes was TFOD's treble win. Other nominations were Hearts staying up, Hibs coming up, Dundee staying up (can you see a pattern here), "Wegie-loving refs), Farry's sacking, the OF and more specifically the violence at the last match and weirdest of all 5 votes for "the media campaign against Dundee staying in the SPL". God we're such a generous and fair support.

The "Embassy Regal / Roddy Grant" Award for the Most Saintee-esque Moment of the Season

Medal 45 O'Neils penalty miss at Ibrox
(8 Votes)
(Losing to Falkirk in the Cup)
Another close call with Del sclaffing our "miraculous" penalty winning by one vote from Saints taking the Euro chase to the last match of the season.
Others mentioned included Nathans assault on Leighton at Pittodrie, the streaker v Killie, "10,000 Saints at Parkhead for the Cup Final", Sportscene holiday video, "Beating TFOD then losing the semi", "Losing 7-0 then beating Celtic". Also one vote for "Any goal by Roddy" which probably sums up Saints as much as anything else.

The "Rolf Harris" Grammy for Song/Chant of the season

Medal 45 We Hate Dundee
(7 Votes)
Close call but the classic wins.
2nd place with 6 votes was "We're all off to Europe". Other mentions to "You're only Huns with no tickets" (Killie and Jambo games), "In Yer Dundee Slums", "We Can See You Sneaking Out"(2nd half at Easter Rd), "Europe in a Tractor", "Sturrock, Sturrock whats the score" and the classic from Rugby Park "Bobby Williamson's got a f**king monkey's heid".
K-Tel should release the album as in-flight music for next season.

The "Penalty At Ibrox Miracle" Award for Best Ref of the Season

Medal 45 Hugh Dallas
(16 Votes)
Strange winner here since Shuggy was only 4th in the Referee Awards over the season. He won by one vote over that winner John Rowbotham.
Others nominated included Mike McCurry, Jim McCluskey, Willie Young and Kenny Clark with "None of them" gaining a couple of votes. Strangely none for Stuart Dougal !?!?!

The "Aw no him" Award for Worst Ref of the Season

Medal 45 Stuart Dougal
(20 Votes)
Explains the lack of votes for Stuart as best ref as he walked the Worst title. The only thing in his favour was his consistency - you just knew he'd red-card a Saints player when in charge.
2nd was Dallas with 8 votes then McCurry with 6. 2 votes also for "They're all crap".

The "Fergus hates Farry" Medal for Most Loathed Person / Institution of the Season

Medal 49 Paul "Judas" Sturrock
(15 Votes)
Not as convincing as I expected when working out the questions. Still Saints have fared rather better than a bunch of Rat-Munchers currently under the Jug-Eared Ones leadership.
2nd was Mr H Keevins of Glasgow (more on him later) with 8 votes. Other nominations included Jim Jeffries, West Coast Media, Stuart Dougal, Dundee (not sure if it was the club or city), Dundee Utd, the Old Firm and that old favourite Neil McCann.
No doubt we all feel better knowing that Judas is getting something for his hard work over the season.

The Players





And the Winner Is...



The "John Brogan Memorial" Award for Best Saints Player This Season

Medal 45 John O'Neil
John O'Neil

(18 Votes)
(Alan Kernaghan)
It looked close for a while but even a penalty miss at Ibrox couldn't prevent Del winning the Player of the Year award. No doubt Craig Brown will feel free to ignore him for a lot longer given his success at a "provincial" club.
2nd place with 13 votes was Darren Dods - given the doubts about signing him at the start of the season he's proven to be an excellent purchase.
Other votes went to Main (4), Dasovic (4), Miguel (3), Kane (2) and Legend (1).

The "Andy Brannigan Understudy" Award for Worst Saints Player This Season

Medal 46 Gerry McMahon
Gerry McMahon

(14 Votes)
(Thomas Andersson)
A one-vote win over Paddy Connolly for Gerry. To be fair he's had injury problems but has never lived up to either the fee paid for him or the expectations of the Saints fans this season.
Other votes went to Phizzy (5), O'Halloran (4), McBride (2), Dasovic (2) and Kane (1). Best vote was the 4 cast for "The Concept Doesn't Exist". Now that's loyalty.

The "Vinny Arkins £5m In A Few Years" Award for the Most Improved Saints Player This Season

Medal 47 John O'Neil
John O'Neil

(14 Votes)
(Shared between Preston, McQuillan and Davison)
A second award for Del and reflects the leap forward he's made this season under St. Sandy with even the Wegie Media calling for a Scotland call-up which would be guaranteed if he played in the Premiership or Glasgow.
2nd place went to Keyring with 10 votes. Goals against both halves of the Old Firm and big things expected of him next season.
Other votes went to Bollan (7), O'Halloran(5), Miguel(4), Dasovic(3), Griffin, Dods (2)

The "Fat Keepers Memorial Rolex" Award for the Best Ambassador for the Club

Medal 45 Capn Jim
Jim Weir
(15 Votes)
(Jim Weir)
Second Year in a Row for the captain and is even more remarkable when you consider how long he was out with injury.
2nd place was shared between Roddy and St Sandy (8 each). Others nominated included Miguel, Kane, Kernaghan, Geoff Brown, Main and Biscuits. Weirdest vote was the person that nominated a Mr P "Judas" Sturrock. (I'm still checking the e-mail address on that one - you should be locked up).

The "Marble Staircase Story Revisited (Again)" Award for the Biggest Embarrassment for Saints

Medal 47 Paddy Connolly
Paddy Connolly
(16 Votes)
(Attila Sekerlioglou)
Sorry Paddy but for £300,000 we expected more. Easy winner for the out-of-favour striker and prime candidate for a move soon.
2nd place with 9 votes was Phizzy after all the publicity surrounding his departure. Joint second was another failed big buy Gerry McMahon
Other votes went to Bollan, Roddy, Judas, Nobody. Non-player votes were for "Alex Totten's Youth Policy" (4) and "Saints PR Dept".

The "I Cant Be Bothered Typing Dinos Name Out In the Match Reports" Award for the Best Nickname of the Season

Medal 47 Darren Dods
Darren "Forrest Gump" Dods
(14 Votes)
(Allan "Il Biscotti" Preston)
It took a while but worth waiting for was the nickname for Darren Dods based on his wonderfully stylish gait when running up the pitch.
2nd place with 9 votes was "Hilltoon Whore" about you-know-who.
Other nominees were Blaster Bollan, Sir Nathan of Lowndes, Father Dougal, Nosey Parker, Judas, Lady Penelope, Nat King Goals, Eusebio and the Ginger Bomber.

The "Chirpy Cheeky Chick Charnley Red Card" Award for the Funniest Moment of the Season

Medal 47 St Sandy "Where's that f**king wanker Keevins"
(9 Votes)
(Erik Pedersens sending off)
Loads of nominations here with St. Sandys Mothering Instincts towards his players showing through in the pressroom after the 3-1 TFOD win. More later.
Other votes went for (deep breath), "Vidar Riseths crossing ability", "Singing what a shitey home support to 55,000 Tims when we won at Parkhead", Donald Findlays resignation, Hendrys handball, "Kevin James getting carried off after trying to kill Main", Hearts / Aberdeen / Arabs performances, "Jambos in Easter Rd after the cup-tie". Weirdest nomination went to "Aidan spilling beer over himself on the train to Killie". Legal circumstances prevent me from naming the person that voted for that last one.

The "Fererro Rocher 'With These Players You Are Spoiling Us" Award for the Ideal Saints Side

Medal 47 Main, McQuillan, Bollan, Dasovic, Dods, Kernaghan, Keyring, Kane, O'Neil, Nathan, Miguel One of the biggest categories which probably reflects the lack of consistency in team selection last season. Griffin for example would have made it but his vote was split between right-back and centre-half. Similarly up front Georgio was split between midfield and attack. I've tried to pick the team based on the most popular players for each shirt.
Main was a consistent keepers choice (his comments post United match at the start of the season have obviously been forgiven). Dods in defence and Miguel up front wrre the only others to consistently appear.
Others mentioned were Dasovic, Griffin, Roddy, Georgio, McBride, Weir, McCluskey. Only one vote for McMahon and none for Paddy which doesn't bode too well. One surprising choice was the selection of Nathan given that he hasn't scored since November.
Best vote was for "Any 11 players wearing the badge".

The "Almost fit to lace Roddy's boots" Medallion for Best non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 48 Henprick Larsson (TFOE)
(15 Votes)
(Henrik Larsson)
2nd year in a row for the East End of Glasgow's favourite diver winning by a wide margin.
Others nominated included Neil McCann, ex-Saint Kevin McGowne, Rod Wallace, Moravcik, Durrant, Iain Anderson and Billy Dodds. Joke (surely) votes were the 3 for Vidar Riseth.

The "Oleg Salenko" Medallion for Worst non-Saints Player in the Scottish League

Medal 47 Alex Mathie
(No Fixed Abode)

(7 Votes)
(Chic Charnley)
Heaps of votes here with Sturrocks Signing winning by one vote from Don "the Pimp" Goodman and Darius Adamcheat.
Other voted for included Pressley, Blinker, McInnes, Juanjo, Goram, Rousset, Spencer, Vidmar, Malpiss, Hendry, Whyte, Aberdeen, Craporuso, Tosh McKinlay and Boyd. Best vote for me was the solitary one for "Every single member of Judas' band of shiters".

The "Geoff Brown Bonus Scheme" Scroll of Contract Renewals

Medal 47 Keep them All
(15 Votes)
This was a hard question to decide this year since nobody was out of contract. Still good to see the faith in St. Sandy's squad (even with Connolly and McMahon).
Of the individual players Paddy (10) , McMahon (9), O'Halloran (3) and Kane (1) all received "Dump" votes. On the "Keep" side, Dasovic and Danny both got mentions.

The Media





And the Winner Is...



The "Danny Griffin Namecheck" Award for Best National Newspaper Coverage

Medal 45 Sun
(12 Votes)
(Courier and Sun)
The Sun retains it's award despite Bill Leckies "Barbour Army" diatribe. 2nd was the Courier with 10 votes.
Other mentions were for Scotsman (8), Scotland on Sunday (3), Retard (6). 3 people voted that all the media were crap.

The "Jim Griffin Namecheck" Award for Worst National Newspaper Coverage

Medal 45 Daily Record
(17 Votes)
(Daily Record)
Another award retention for Wegies finest OF-worshippers.
Closest was the Sun with 9 votes. Other nominees included Times, Daily Mail, Express, Scotsman and the Sunday Post.

The "Sky Comes to McD" Award for Best TV/Radio Saints Coverage

Medal 45 Radio Scotland
(18 Votes)
Probably influenced by the lack of a Traynor this season Radio Scotland gets the plaudits.
Others nominated were Scotsport, Sky, Sportscene and best of all Perth Hospital Radio with 3 votes.

The "Cover the OF Instead" Award for Worst TV/Radio Saints Coverage

Medal 45 Scotsport
(16 Votes)
Even getting rid of Jim "Orange" White and bringing in Erchie's commentary dementia couldn't save STV's contribution from the award. Maybe they'll try dumping Rambo next.
Other votes went to Sportscene, Scot FM, Radio Clyde/Tay/Forth, Scotland On-Line, Sky and Radio Scotland.

The "Muirton Park Press Card 92-93" Award for Media Falsehood of the Year

Medal 47 Flop Comments (Hugh Keevins and Sunday Mail)
(21 Votes)
(Jim Griffin - Daily Record)
Probably the most predictable of the media TOSSAs sees the man we all hate walk away with the award. Two small paragraphs of thoughtless and bitter journalism started the letter-writing campaign and enraged both fans, officials and players.
Other votes (way behind Keevins) went to Roddy being "frozen out", Miguel is French. amongst others.
Best votes were for "Anything by Keevins", "Anything by Chic Young" (strange for a man with no falsehood credits last year) and "Anything by that C**T Bill Leckie".

Pundit / Reporter of the Year

Medal 46 Stuart Cosgrove - Off the Ball
(12 Votes)
(Gordon Bannerman - PA)
The Saintee in the media himself gets the award by one vote from fellow Radio Scotland pundit Bob Crampsey. Gordon Bannerman was third with 10 votes.
Others nominated included Gordon Smith, Grahame Spiers and Richard Gordon. Someone even voted for a Mr H Keevins - another name for the asylum.

The "Gerry" Hall of Fame for Worst Pundit / Reporter

Medal 47 Hugh Keevins
(25 Votes)
(Charlie Nicholas and Chic Young)
Never in doubt really.
2nd place with 10 votes went to Bill Leckie, the Sun reporter who even got the PA up in arms!!!.
Other nominees included Traynor, Willie Miller, Gordon Smith, Chic Young and Gerry McNee. The last one's probably one of the strangest since he doesn't seem to bother with Scottish football any more preferring instead to nestle down in the crack of Fergies arse.

The "Almost as Popular as the Pammy Video" Scroll for the Best WWW Site of the Season

Medal 45 Blue Heaven
(18 Votes)
I'm not commenting too much since I don't want to drive the traffic away from the Temple.
2nd place was the PA site - handy for all the Perth exiles. 3rd went to "All Saints".
Other votes included the official Saints site, Scotland On-Line, Sporting Life, and the official SPL site.

The "I'm not interested in the Tannadice job" Award for Quote of the Season

Medal 50 St. Sandy
"Not bad for a bunch of flops" - Sandy Clark

(12 Votes)
("Altar Boys" - Paul Sturrock")
The Keevins fallout continued with St. Sandys barbed digs at the media.
Plenty of other votes including "Wheres that bastard Keevins", Dels excuses for the handball at Rugby Park, Il Biscottis mentions of "Hot and Cold Balls" when the Scottish Cup Semis were drawn and Judas with his "I didnt want to let the players down at training" after he quit.
Best nominees "Pass it Biscuits - GOALL" from the League Cup semi and "Kiss the Badge". Ask Aidan about the last one.

The Future





And the Winner Is...



The "Roddy or Ronaldo?" List of Players Saints Should Sign

Medal 52 Top 3 are ::
A Striker

(16 Votes)
Colin Cameron
(7 Votes)
Stevie Crawford (Hibs)
(6 Votes
(Last year Andy Smith, McCoist, Billy Dodds).
As for last year it's another long list of players with strikers again more prominent.
Having said that the votes were short on names with "a young Roddy" and "can't think of one" joining Freedman, Paul Dickov, Iain Anderson, Billy Dodds amongst others.
Best nominee for me was "Sturrocks son so he knows what turncoat really means".
One consolation though - this time last year nobody had heard of Miguel Simao or Nathan Lowndes.

The "Mystic Aggie" Prediction List for Next Season

Medal 45 UEFA Cup ::
Past Qualifying

(16 Votes)
League Cup ::

(20 Votes)
(Out Early / Qtr Final)
Scottish Cup ::

(18 Votes )
Premier League ::
(17 Votes)
UEFA Cup votes saw a reasonable level o confidence amongst the fans even before the draw was made. 3 votes each for the 3rd round and quarter-final and one optimistic soul thinks we're going to win it.
Votes for the League Cup are well up on last year with only 5 people thinking we'll go out early. 11 people think we'll go one better than last season and win the bloody thing.
Its the same story in the Scottish Cup with 5 votes for a win and 7 for runner-up slot. Only one person thought we'd go out in the 3rd round.
For the SPL votes are slightly more pessimistic. Nobody expects Saints to win it (is this an omen) and one person is looking at relegation. Otherwise one vote for 2nd and the majority of the rest are for 3rd, 4th and 5th. Obviously we're expecting the Sheep / Hibs / Hearts / Arabs to start to turn things round - something the bookies don't.

The "Kenny MacDonald" Prediction for Most Promising Saintee Next Season

Medal 47 Kiegan Parker
Kiegan Parker

(16 Votes )
(Kieran McAnespie)
After making the breakthrough towards the end of last season and with a summer of building-up behind him Kiegan is our Great Hope. If he's as good as last year's winner expect goals against both halves of the Old Firm.
Other votes went to new signing Martin Lauchlan (12), Miguel, Nathan, Brendan Crozier, Stuart Malcolm, Pope, Marc McCulloch.
Some wit even voted for "the boy Grant"!!

The "Kirkwood View From The Stand" List of Tactical Changes

Medal 48 Always play 2 up front
(10 Votes )
Plenty of suggestions but all around the same theme of making the team less cautious. Hopefully with St. Sandy in charge we'll see the attacking style continue both at home and away.
Specific suggestions included pulling Georgio / Roddy back to midfield to support Nathan and Miguel up front, "Never play 4-5-1", bring on the subs earlier, only play 100% fit players and "work on the corners".
9 votes also for "buy a striker"

The "Whitewash The Stand" List of Suggested Improvements to the Club

Medal 47 Employ a Commercial PR Person
(12 Votes )
The worry about the apathy shown by the Perth public wins out here with the need for the club to start generating some decent publicity a la Killie coming through.
Most of the suggestions were along these lines - "Attract more kids", "Better music/pre-match entertainment / announcer", "Come up with a decent Euro PR Campaign".
It shows that the club have made strides recently but you only had to look at the sort of stuff that Killie had going on at the capacity game last season to see what we could learn.
Other less serious suggestions included "Free pies" and "Buy United and close them down".

The "Steve H Pessimism" Vote on Saints Future

Medal 45 More Optimistic
(22 Votes )
(18 Vote )
Less Optimistic
(5 Vote )
Not as convincing as last year but obviously we don't want to push our luch too much. In terms of what happened at the start of last season we will hopefully have a more stable start this time round.
Besides this time we can get a Euro trophy !!!!!!!!!

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